1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,976 [ SOUL MUSIC PLAYS ] WELCOME TO 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,976 "THE JAMES BROWN SHOW," STARRING ME... JAMES BROWN! 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,976 [ CHUCKLES ] WATCH THE "JAMES BROWN" DANCERS 4 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,976 DO THE JAMES BROWN TO THE JAMES BROWN MUSIC. 5 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,976 AND AS WE TAKE A PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE, GET READY AND LISTEN AND 6 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,976 GET DOWN TO NEW JAMES BROWN HIT, CALLED "BOOTY SWEAT," FROM THE 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,976 BOOTY SWEAT OF MY OWN BROW! 8 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,976 THAT'S RIGHT... THE HARDEST-WORKING MAN IN SHOW 9 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,976 BUSINESS, MR. JAMES BROWN HIMSELF! 10 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,000 HA HA HA HA! 11 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:27,977 HEY! 12 00:00:28,001 --> 00:00:29,976 [ SPEAKING GIBBERISH I ...IN THE HAIR DRYER. 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,977 HE-HE-E-E-E-E-E-E-Y! 14 00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:34,976 DICK CLARK FROM "AMERICAN BANDSTAND"?! 15 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,976 AHHH! 16 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:37,977 WORD ON THE STREET IS YOU WERE READY TO GET ON UP AND DO 17 00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:40,976 YOUR OWN THING, SO I THOUGHT I'D PAY MY RESPECTS. 18 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:41,977 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! 19 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,976 YOU AIN'T... YOU AIN'T GOT TO PAY ME NOTHIN'! 20 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,976 YOUR "AMERICAN BANDSTAND" TOOK ME FROM THE CHITLIN' CIRCUIT AND 21 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,977 GAVE ME NATIONAL EXPOSURE. 22 00:00:48,001 --> 00:00:50,976 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE "CHILDREN'S CIRCUS" OR "VAGINAL 23 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,976 "ENCLOSURES" HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING, BUT MY 24 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,976 "AMERICAN BANDSTAND" TOOK YOU FROM THE CHITLIN' CIRCUIT AND 25 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,976 GAVE YOU NATIONAL EXPOSURE. 26 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,976 NOW YOU WANT TO MUSCLE IN ON MY TERRITORY? 27 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,720 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HOT COMB! MAKES ME HOT! 28 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:02,977 I'M DICK CLARK! 29 00:01:03,001 --> 00:01:04,976 I RUN "AMERICAN BANDSTAND"! 30 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,976 AT ONE TIME, I CONTROLLED EVERYTHING! 31 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,320 THEN CAME RHYTHM. THEN CAME BLUES. 32 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,976 THEN CAME "SO-O-O-O-O-UL TRAIN." 33 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,976 BUT DON CORNELIUS ISN'T REASONABLE. 34 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,976 HE DOESN'T PAY RESPECTS. 35 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,976 NOW MY BREAD AND MY RATINGS ARE DOWN AND DROPPING, SO I NEED TO 36 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,976 TAKE OVER NI... BLACK MUSIC. 37 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,976 GOOD GOD! NOT BLACK MUSIC! 38 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:23,977 CHER. 39 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,976 ♪ I SAID PLEASE, PLEASE OWWWW! 40 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,976 ♪ PLEASE NO, NOT NOW, MAN! 41 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,976 PLEASE, MR. CLARK, MAKE ME AN OFFER THAT I CAN'T REFUSE! 42 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,976 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID, BUT I'M GONNA MAKE YOU AN 43 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:36,977 OFFER YOU CAN'T REFUSE. 44 00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:38,976 YOU GO AND TELL THAT DON CORNELIUS EITHER HE STOPS 45 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,976 THAT SOUL TRAIN OR I'M GONNA RUN IT OFF THE TRACKS. 46 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,760 [ CHUCKLES ] GET IT? "RUN IT OFF THE TRACKS"? 47 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,976 [ LAUGHTER ] CAUSE IT'S A TRAIN... 48 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:46,977 A SOUL TRAIN? 49 00:01:47,001 --> 00:01:48,976 [ LAUGHS ] YEAH! 50 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:49,977 THAT WASN'T A JOKE, JAMES. 51 00:01:50,001 --> 00:01:51,976 "SO-O-O-O-O-UL TRAIN'S" DAYS ARE DONE. 52 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,976 DICK CLARK'S "AMERICAN BANDSTAND" WILL TAKE 53 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,976 OVER BLACK MUSIC FOREVER! 54 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:02,976 [ LAUGHS EVILLY ] >> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! 55 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,976 ♪ HE'S DYNAMITE ♪ SO DYNAMITE 56 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:12,976 ♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH ♪ OOOHHH 57 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:19,976 ♪ AHHHH ♪ HE'S DYNAMITE 58 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:25,976 ♪ DY-NO, DY-NO ♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH 59 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:32,976 ♪ OOOOHHHH ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! 60 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,000 THIS WEEK... 61 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:46,976 [ SIREN WAILING ] >> Cream Corn: UNH! AH! 62 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:47,977 GIT IT, GIT IT, GIT IT! 63 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,976 UNH! AH! RIGHT ON! 64 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,976 [ DOOR OPENS ] >> Black Dynamite: CREAM CORN, 65 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,976 WHAT IS FRED BERRY AND THE "SOUL TRAIN" GANG DOING IN MY 66 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,976 LIVING ROOM, AND WHY ARE THEY DANCING WHERE MY LIVING ROOM IS? 67 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:58,977 Cream Corn: UNH! HA! 68 00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:00,976 THEY HELPING ME PRACTICE SO I CAN BECOME A 69 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:01,977 "SOUL TRAIN" DANCER. 70 00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:03,976 I BEEN WANTIN' TO BE A "SOUL TRAIN" DANCER ALL MY LIFE! 71 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,977 ONLY THE BEST MAKE IT ON THAT SHOW. 72 00:03:05,001 --> 00:03:08,000 Black Dynamite: LOOK, THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA, CREAM CORN. 73 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,976 BESIDES, NO SELF-RESPECTING MAN WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD IN AN 74 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:11,977 OUTFIT LIKE THAT. 75 00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:13,976 Cream Corn: GOOD THING I AIN'T GOT NO SELF-RESPECT! 76 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,976 Black Dynamite: YOU LOOK LIKE A DAMN LAWN JOCKEY. 77 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:16,977 NOW, I GOT WORK TO DO. 78 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:18,976 EITHER YOU TELL THEM, "SCRAM, SPLIT, SHAKE THE SCENE, YOU" 79 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,976 "TURKEYS, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE," OR I'MA DO IT! 80 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,680 Cream Corn: MAN! I'll SEE Y'ALL TONIGHT. 81 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:23,977 GET ME A SANDWICH, RAJ! 82 00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:26,976 Cream Corn: IS THIS REALLY ALL ABOUT ME LOOKIN' LIKE A LAWN. 83 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:27,977 JOCKEY, BLACK DYNAMITE? 84 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:29,976 'CAUSE YOU KNOW I'VE WORN WORSE SHIT THAN THIS. 85 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,977 Black Dynamite: YES. 86 00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:32,976 WELL, THAT AND THE "SOUL TRAIN" KLAN AIN'T NOTHING TO 87 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,976 FUCK WITH! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF COMMITMENT YOU'RE MAKING. 88 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:35,977 Cream Corn: SURE, I DO. 89 00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:37,976 THAT'S WHY I'M PRACTICING! 90 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,976 Black Dynamite: DON CORNELIUS AND "SOUL TRAIN" IS MUCH MORE. 91 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,976 THAN IT SEEMS, AND, BELIEVE ME, YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP ON THE 92 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:42,977 WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS. 93 00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:44,976 GET IT? 94 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,976 WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS 'CAUSE I-IT'S A TRAIN AND... 95 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,800 UH, NEVER MIND. Cream Corn: YEAH, I GET IT. 96 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,976 YOU JUST DON'T GET ME. 97 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,976 ♪ HEY, HEY, HEY >> ALL RIGHT. 98 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,976 THAT'S THE LEGENDARY GLADYS KNIGHT & THE PIPS HERE 99 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,976 ON DICK CLARK'S "AMERICAN BANDSTAND"! 100 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,976 THIS AIN'T "SOUL TRAIN," AND I AIN'T DON CORNELIUS, 'CAUSE 101 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,976 YOU'D NEVER GET THIS MUCH SOUL ON "SO-O-O-O-O..." 102 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,976 SO, DICK CLARK, IT'S A MUSIC WAR YOU WANT. 103 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,976 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 104 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,976 JAMES BROWN IS HERE TO SEE YOU. 105 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:12,977 MR. DON CORNELIUS... 106 00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:18,976 [ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ] >> HE THINKS HE CAN DISRESPECT 107 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:19,977 ME? 108 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:21,976 HE THINKS THAT "AMERICAN BANDSTAND" CAN MUSCLE 109 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:22,977 IN ON MY TERRITORY? 110 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,976 IF YOU WERE UNDER MY PROTECTION, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY... 111 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:31,976 [ SNORES ] ...ABOUT ANYBODY TAKING YOUR 112 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:32,977 SHOW. 113 00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:35,976 WELL, WHO IS YOUR PROTECTION? 114 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,976 THESE ARE DON'S CORNHOLES, AND TRUST ME... DICK DON'T WANT 115 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:40,977 TO FUCK WITH MY CORNHOLES. 116 00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:42,976 HELP ME, DON CORNELIUS! 117 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,720 YOU MY ONLY HOPE! ARE YOU A FRIEND TO ME? 118 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,976 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN ON MY "SOUL TRAIN"? 119 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,976 NONE, GODFATHER DON! [ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ] CHICKEN! 120 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,976 LISTEN. SOMEDAY... AND THAT DAY MAY NEVER COME... 121 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,976 I WILL CALL UPON YOU TO DO A SERVICE FOR ME. 122 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,976 I WILL EXPECT YOU TO DELIVER. 123 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,976 ANYTHING FOR YOU, DON CORNELIUS! 124 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,976 KISS THE PINKY. 125 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,976 MMM. 126 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,976 MM-MM-MMM. 127 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,880 TAKE YOUR SHOW TO ATLANTA. YOU'LL BE SAFE THERE. 128 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,976 I'll HANDLE THIS LITTLE DICK... CLARK AND HIS HOMOGENOUS. 129 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:13,977 HOOLIGANS. 130 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:16,976 OWWW! I FEEL GOOD! HA HA! 131 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,976 DICK WON'T FEEL GOOD WHEN I RUN A TRAIN UP DICK'S ASS... 132 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,976 A DON CORN-HOLE-LIUS SOUL TRAIN UP HIS ASS, NONSTOP EXPRESS. 133 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,976 GET IT? 134 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,976 'CAUSE IT'S A TRAIN... A BIG BLACK SO-O-O-O-O-UL TRAIN! 135 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,976 Honey Bee: B.D., EVEN THOUGH CREAM CORN IS DUMB AS HELL, HE. 136 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:34,977 DOES HAVE A POINT. 137 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,976 Black Dynamite: NOT YOU, TOO, BEE. 138 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,976 YOU KNOW CREAM CORN IS WAY OUT OF LINE TALKING TO ME LIKE HE'S 139 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,976 GROWN. >> Bullhorn: NOW YOU GOT A SECRET YOU AIN'T TELLING US. 140 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,976 ABOUT DON CORNELIUS, UH... 141 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,976 AND THE TRUTH WILL BE... THE TRUTH WILL BE... THE... 142 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,976 AND THE TRUTH WILL BE THE MAGIC WAND FOR HEALING US! 143 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,160 WHEW! Black Dynamite: OKAY. 144 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,976 I CAN TELL YOU THE TRUTH, BUT I CANNOT PROMISE YOU WHAT THE 145 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,000 TRUTH WILL TELL. 146 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,976 I WORKED FOR CORNELIUS WHEN HE WAS SMALL-TIME, STILL JUST 147 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,976 RUNNING A RADIO STATION IN CHICAGO. 148 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,976 HAD TO BUST SOME HEADS, BUT I GOT IT. 149 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,976 ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL. 150 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,600 EXCLUSIVE HERE. WE GOT A NEW CUT FOR YOU. 151 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,976 Black Dynamite: AND SINCE THERE COULD ONLY BE ONE. 152 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,977 NUMBER-ONE RADIO STATION... 153 00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:12,976 AND THAT WAS TODAY'S LATEST SONG BY... [ GASPS ] AAAAAAAAH! 154 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,400 Black Dynamite: SUEY! AAAAAAH! 155 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,976 AND NOW THE LATEST HIT FROM ARETHA... WHOA, WHOA! 156 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,440 WHO ARE YOU? Black Dynamite: SUEY! 157 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:19,977 AAAAAAAAH! 158 00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:21,976 Black Dynamite: IT GOT TO THE POINT THAT TALENT ACTS STARTED. 159 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,976 COMING TO HIM FOR HELP. 160 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,976 BUT AS TOUGH AS HE WAS, HE ALWAYS TOOK CARE OF HIS PEOPLE. 161 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,976 FREE FRIED... 162 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:35,976 [ SNORES ] ...CHICKEN FOR EVERYBODY! 163 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,976 Black Dynamite: ONCE HE OWNED THE RADIO GAME, THERE WAS ONLY. 164 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:39,977 ONE PLACE LEFT TO GO. 165 00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:43,976 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HERE WE ARE AT THE INAUGURAL 166 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:48,976 BROADCAST ON THE NEW "SO-O-O-O-O-UL TRAIN," THE 167 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,976 HIPPEST TRIP IN AMERICA! 168 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,976 Black Dynamite: AND WITH NEWFOUND SUCCESS CAME NEWFOUND. 169 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,440 ENEMIES. YEAH. GREAT SUCCESS, DON. 170 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,976 BUT, YOU KNOW, NOBODY AROUND HERE RUNS MUSIC WITHOUT CUTTING 171 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,160 US IN ON THE ACTION. CAPISCE? 172 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,977 I UNDERSTAND. 173 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:04,976 YEAH. 174 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,400 Black Dynamite: SUEY! SHAH! SUEY! 175 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,976 YOU KNOW, GENTLEMEN, YOU CAN'T STOP THE TRAIN, AND I 176 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,976 DEDICATE THESE THREE RECORDS TO YOU. 177 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:14,977 Black Dynamite: SUEY! HAH! 178 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,976 HE GREW MORE AND MORE POWERFUL, AND I SAW THAT POWER CORRUPTS 179 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,976 EVEN THOSE WITH THE PEOPLE'S GOOD AT HEART. 180 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,976 AAH! AAAH! 181 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,976 Black Dynamite: ALL THAT DANCER WANTED WAS OUT, BUT. 182 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,976 CORNELIUS COULDN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF ANYONE LEAVING. 183 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,976 AND BLACK DYNAMITE COULDN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF ANY 184 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,976 MOTHERFUCKA TELLIN' HIM WHAT HE CAN AND CANNOT DO, SO I HAD 185 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,976 TO SPLIT. 186 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,976 [ CHUCKLES EVILLY ] Black Dynamite: AH, SUEY! 187 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:40,977 WHO KNOWS? 188 00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:42,976 IF DON HAD SOMEBODY LIKE ME TO WHUP MY ASS, I MIGHT NOT HAVE 189 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,976 MADE IT OUT ALIVE, EITHER. 190 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,976 AFTER I LAID WASTE TO THE "SOUL TRAIN" DANCERS, DON AND I 191 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:48,977 WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS. 192 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:51,976 IT'S ALL BEEN A STONE GAS, BLACK DYNAMITE. 193 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,976 AS ALWAYS, IN PARTING, I WISH YOU LOVE, PEACE, AND 194 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,976 SO-O-O-O-O-UL! 195 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,976 Black Dynamite: WHEN YOU WORK FOR THE DON, YOU'RE A DON WORKER. 196 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,976 FOR LIFE. 197 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,976 EVEN THE DANCERS HAD TO PUT IN WORK, AND BY "WORK," I MEAN "KILLING." 198 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,976 Honey Bee: BLACK DYNAMITE, WE CAN'T LET CREAM CORN BECOME. 199 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:07,000 A KILLER! HE'LL GET KILLED! 200 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,976 Black Dynamite: BULLHORN, HONEY BEE, I GUESS IT'S TIME. 201 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:10,977 FOR US TO CATCH A TRAIN. 202 00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,000 ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 203 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:21,976 ♪ ALL THESE STUPID BITCHES HEY, MR. WONDER, IT'S DONNY 204 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,976 AND MARIE! WE'RE HERE TO TAKE YOU TO "AMERICAN BANDSTAND" BECAUSE 205 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:24,977 YOU'RE BLIND! 206 00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:26,976 I CAN SEE YOU MOTHERFUCKA I'M COMIN'. 207 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,000 [ TIRES SCREECH ] THAT'S FUNNY. 208 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,976 [ SNIFFS ] WHEN DID DONNY AND MARIE START 209 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,000 WEARING AFRO SHEEN? 210 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,976 WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN STEVIE WONDER'S A NO-SHOW? 211 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,976 "AMERICAN BANDSTAND" WILL NOT SURVIVE WITHOUT TOP NI... 212 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,600 BLACK ACTS LIKE THAT! HOW FAR CAN HE GO?! 213 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,976 HE'S AS BLIND AS RAY CHARLES! 214 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,976 THIS JUST CAME IN FROM DON CORNELIUS. 215 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,976 [ GROANS ] >> AW FUCK NAW. 216 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,976 IS IT A DEAD FISH? 217 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,976 ARE THEY SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES?! 218 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,976 NO. DONNY AND MARIE. 219 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,976 THEY'RE BEING GANG-RAPED BY FOUR N... FOUR N... FOUR NEGROES. 220 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,976 AW, NAW! 221 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:07,977 OKAY, WAIT. 222 00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:10,976 I GET THE SAUSAGE, I GET THE WHITE BREAD, BUT THE TOOTHPASTE? 223 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,976 [ GROANS ] [ CLICK ] 224 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,976 NO NEED TO LOOK ANY FURTHER, 'CAUSE WE GOT WHAT YOU'RE 225 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,977 LOOKING FOR RIGHT HERE. 226 00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:23,976 GIVE A WARM "SOUL TRAIN" GANG WELCOME TO MR. STEVIE... 227 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,976 [ SNORES ] ...WONDER! 228 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:35,976 [ MID-TEMPO SOUL MUSIC PLAYING I >> ♪ ALL THESE STUPID BITCHES 229 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,976 ♪ CRYIN' ON MY BALLS >> UGH! 230 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,976 [ MUSIC CONTINUES ] >> Black Dynamite: CREAM CORN, I. 231 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,976 GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT "SOUL TRAIN." 232 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,976 Cream Corn: NOT NOW, BLACK DYNAMITE. 233 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:47,977 [ Robotically ] YOU ARE FUCKIN' UP MY ROBOT. 234 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:49,976 Black Dynamite: YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN' PUPPET ON A STRING. 235 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,976 Cream Corn: [ Normal voice ] WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE. 236 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,977 AGAINST DANCING, HUH?! 237 00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,976 NOT ENOUGH BLOODSHED? 238 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,976 Black Dynamite: WELL, THAT'S ONE REASON, BUT THE MAIN THING. 239 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,976 IS YOU AIN'T DANCIN'. THE SHIT YOU'RE DOING IS MONKEY-SHININ'. 240 00:09:59,000 --> 00:09:59,977 SEE? SEE? SEE? 241 00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,976 YOU SEE HOW YOU'RE SMILING WHEN YOU DO THAT SHIT? 242 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,976 Cream Corn: YEAH, BECAUSE IT'S FUN! 243 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:04,000 Black Dynamite: SEE?! RIGHT THERE! 244 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,040 DANCING SHOULD NOT BE FUN! 245 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:07,977 REAL DANCING REQUIRES AN ANGER, A REAL PISSED-OFF DIGNITY. 246 00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,282 Cream Corn: DIDN'T I TELL YOU I AIN'T HAVE NO DIGNITY? 247 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:11,977 AND WHO DANCES WHEN THEY'RE MAD? 248 00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:13,976 Black Dynamite: ALL RIGHT, TANGO... PISSED OFF. 249 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,640 BALLET... PISSED OFF. SALSA... PISSED OFF. 250 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,976 AFRICAN... SO PISSED OFF, THEY SHOW YOU HOW THEY'LL STOMP A 251 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:19,977 MUDHOLE IN YOUR ASS. 252 00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:21,976 NOW LISTEN... >> Cream Corn: WELL, YOU CAN PUT. 253 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,000 THIS IN YOUR HAT! UNH! 254 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:24,977 Black Dynamite: THOSE ARE YOUR RING FINGERS, DAMN IT! 255 00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:26,976 Cream Corn: YEAH, I KNOW, BUT IT'S THE CLOSEST I CAN GET TO. 256 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,976 FLIPPIN' BLACK DYNAMITE OFF WITHOUT GETTIN' MY ASS WHUPPED! 257 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,976 Black Dynamite: LOOK, DON CORNELIUS AND THE. 258 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:31,977 "SOUL TRAIN" DANCERS ARE A CRIME FAMILY OF MOBSTERS! 259 00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:33,976 Cream Corn: AND YOU JUST MAD 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T DO THIS! 260 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,976 [ Robotically ] BLACK DYNAMITE IS JEALOUS 'CAUSE HE CAN'T DO. 261 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,480 THIS. UNH! AH! GET IT, GET IT, GET IT! 262 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,976 UNH! AH! RIGHT ON! 263 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,976 I WANT DON CORNELIUS DEAD. 264 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,976 I WANT "SOUL TRAIN" DEAD! 265 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:45,977 I WANT HIS FAMILY DEAD! 266 00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:47,976 I WANT HIS CAR AND HIS HOUSE DEAD! 267 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,976 AND I WANT YOU TO DELIVER A PERMANENT MESSAGE... NO ONE 268 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:52,977 FUCKS WITH DICK! 269 00:10:53,001 --> 00:10:54,976 HEY, DON'T WORRY, MR. CLARK. 270 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,976 WHEN I ATTACH THIS BOMB TO THE "SOUL TRAIN" SCRAMBLE BOARD AND 271 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,000 THE CONTESTANTS UNSCRAMBLE TODAY'S PUZZLE... KABOOM! 272 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,680 THEY'LL BE SCRAMBLED EGGPLANT! HUH? GET IT? 273 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,976 BECAUSE THEY'RE BLACK! 274 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,976 [ LAUGHS ] AH, I KILL ME. 275 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,000 ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! [ MID-TEMPO SOUL MUSIC PLAYING ] 276 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,976 Black Dynamite: ALL RIGHT. WELL, I GUESS IT'S TIME TO GO. 277 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,000 [ MUSIC CONTINUES ] HMM. 278 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,976 "SOUL TRAIN" SCRAMBLE BOARD MAINTENANCE INC? 279 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,976 "SOUL TRAIN" IS A SOLE PROPRIETORSHIP, AND THE 280 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,976 "SOUL TRAIN" SCRAMBLE BOARD MAINTENANCE COULD NOT 281 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,976 INCORPORATE EVEN IF THEY WANTED TO. 282 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:37,977 IT'D BE A SUBSIDIARY AT BEST! 283 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,976 BESIDES, "SOUL TRAIN" SCRAMBLE BOARD MAINTENANCE ENGINEERS 284 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,000 DON'T WEAR ALLIGATOR SHOES. 285 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,976 [ BEEPING ] HMM. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. 286 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,976 THE OLD "WIRE A BOMB TO THE 'SOUL TRAIN' SCRAMBLE BOARD" 287 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,040 TRICK. ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL. 288 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,976 IT'S TIME FOR THE WORLD-FAMOUS "SOUL TRAIN" SCRAMBLE BOARD. 289 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,976 Cream Corn: HI, AND I'M CREAM CORN. 290 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,976 [ SPUTTERING ] BITCH, CONTROL YOUR HAIR! 291 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,976 [ Asian accent ] HI. 292 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,976 I'M THAT SEXY ASIAN BITCH WITH THE "RONG," "RONG" HAIR. 293 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,000 ALL RIGHT. 294 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,976 YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO CORRECTLY UNSCRAMBLE THE PUZZLE. 295 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,976 IT'S THE NAME OF A POPULAR GROUP THAT SOUNDS LIKE 296 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,976 "TIRTH, TIND, AND TIRE." 297 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,976 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Black Dynamite: BULLHORN, 298 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,976 HONEY BEE, YOU GOT TO STOP CREAM CORN FROM SOLVING 299 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:19,977 THAT PUZZLE! 300 00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:21,976 THERE'S A BOMB THAT'S GONNA EXPLODE WHEN IT'S UNSCRAMBLED! 301 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,976 Honey Bee: OH SHIT! UH... THE TEMPTATIONS! 302 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,600 Cream Corn: THE TEMPTATIONS?! THAT DON'T SOUND LIKE NO "TIRTH"! 303 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:27,977 Black Dynamite: ALL RIGHT. 304 00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:32,000 NOW I JUST GOT TO DEFUSE THIS... OH. WELL, WHAT THE SHIT? 305 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:33,977 Bullhorn: IT'S THE O'JAYS! 306 00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:35,976 Cream Corn: I DON'T SEE NO "O," AND I DON'T SEE NO "J"! 307 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,976 Bullhorn: MAYBE THE BAR-KAYS! Cream Corn: BAR-KAYS?! 308 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,800 THERE'S NO "K"! Honey Bee: UH, BARRY WHITE! 309 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,976 Cream Corn: BARRY WHITE?! BARRY WHITE'S NOT A GROUP! OH, COME ON! 310 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,976 IT'S A EARTH, WIND & FIRE! 311 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,480 [ BELL DINGS ] >> Bullhorn: [ GASPS ] 312 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:48,977 Black Dynamite: WHAT?! 313 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:52,976 OH SHIT! SUEY! 314 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:57,976 [ WOMAN SCREAMS ] >> ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! 315 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,976 CREAM CORN, I SEE THAT YOU DID EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO 316 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,000 GET THE SCRAMBLE BOARD WRONG, AND YOU DID IT ALL TO SAVE THE 317 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,976 LIFE OF... [ SNORES I ...THE DON. 318 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,280 Cream Corn: YEAH! YOU KNOW ME. 319 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,976 I'M ALWAYS DOWN TO DO SOMETHING FOR THE DON. 320 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,976 CREAM CORN, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE AN OFFICIAL 321 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,000 "SOUL TRAIN"... 322 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 [ SNORES ] ...DANCER? 323 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:20,000 Cream Corn: WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! 324 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:21,977 Black Dynamite: LET'S GO. 325 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:23,976 Cream Corn: BUT, BLACK DYNAMITE... 326 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,976 I THINK CREAM CORN IS A GROWN-ASS MAN THAT CAN MAKE HIS 327 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,976 OWN DECISIONS, BLACK DYNAMITE, AND THE DECISION I'M TELLING HIM 328 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,976 TO MAKE IS TO STAY HE-E-E-E-E-RE WITH ME. 329 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,976 Black Dynamite: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR GETTIN' YOUR. 330 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:35,977 LITTLE PERMED HEAD INTO, CREAM CORN. 331 00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:39,976 I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU MAKIN' A BAD DECISION! 332 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,976 ARE YOU READY TO BECOME A MEMBER OF THE "SOUL TRAIN" 333 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:43,977 FAMILY? 334 00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,976 Cream Corn: IT WOULD BE AN HONOR. 335 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,976 IT'S THE DON. 336 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,976 TIME TO DO IT THE HARD WAY. 337 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,976 Cream Corn: MR. DON, WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU MEAN WHEN YOU. 338 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,976 SAID IT'S TIME TO DO IT THE HARD WAY? 339 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:55,977 IS THAT A NEW DANCE? 340 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,976 [ LAUGHS ] SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 341 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,976 YOU JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE DISCO BALL, AND YOU'LL BE JUST 342 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,400 FINE. Black Dynamite: SUEY! SUEY! 343 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,976 SUEY! SUEY! SUEY! SUEY! SUEY! 344 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,976 SUEY! SUEY! SUEY! 345 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,976 HONEY BEE, WHAT I TELL YOU 'BOUT INTERRUPTING MY CUNT FU? 346 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,976 Honey Bee: BLACK DYNAMITE, HOW MANY TIMES I GOT TO TELL YOU. 347 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,976 YOU CAN'T FUCK AWAY ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS BY FUCKING 348 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,440 Black Dynamite: YEAH? AND WHY NOT? 349 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,976 Honey Bee: WELL, YOU COULD, BUT SOONER OR LATER, YOU'RE. 350 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,976 GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH 'EM. Black Dynamite: YOU'RE RIGHT, HONEY BEE. 351 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,976 NOW, I AIN'T GONNA TELL Y'ALL TO SPLIT THE SCENE, BUT Y'ALL 352 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:25,977 BITCHES CAN SCRAM. 353 00:14:26,001 --> 00:14:28,976 I GUESS IT'S HARD TO ADMIT THAT CREAM CORN WAS ONCE JUST A 354 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,976 LITTLE HALF-A-MAN PIMP AND NOW HE'S A FULL-GROWN HALF-A-MAN 355 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:32,977 PIMP. 356 00:14:33,001 --> 00:14:34,976 Honey Bee: BUT I WOULDN'T SAY, "FULL-GROWN." 357 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,560 HE'S LIKE 3/4 THERE. [ WOMEN YAWNING ] AND WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY? 358 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:38,977 Black Dynamite: DAMN. SEE? 359 00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:41,976 WITH ALL THIS CREAM CORN ON MY MIND, I FORGOT TO TELL THEM NOT 360 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,977 TO WAKE UP THE REST OF THE BITCHES. 361 00:14:43,001 --> 00:14:48,976 ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! [ ORGAN PLAYING ] 362 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,976 CREAM CORN, DO YOU DENOUNCE DICK CLARK? 363 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:56,000 Cream Corn: I DO DENOUNCE DICK. 364 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,976 [ GUN COCKS ] WHAT THE... 365 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,976 DO YOU DENOUNCE THE AMERICAN BROADCAST COMPANY AND 366 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,976 ALL OF ITS WORKS? 367 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,976 Cream Corn: I DO DENOUNCE THEM, EXCEPT "CHARLIE'S ANGELS," 368 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,120 'CAUSE THEY KIND OF SMOKIN'. 369 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,976 [ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ] [ GUN COCKS ] 370 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,976 [ GUNSHOTS ] [ WHIMPERING ] 371 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,976 DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO SNITCH FOR NEITHER MONEY NOR A BITCH? 372 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,976 Cream Corn: YES. 373 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,976 I PROMISE NOT TO BE A BITCH WITH A SWITCH WHO GOT A ITCH... 374 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:21,977 WAIT A MINUTE. 375 00:15:22,001 --> 00:15:24,000 WHAT YOU SAY AGAIN? 376 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:31,976 [ MEN SCREAMING ] >> DO YOU ACCEPT YOUR COMMITMENT 377 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,976 TO "SOUL TRAIN" AS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT? 378 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,640 [ MEN SHOUTING ] >> Cream Corn: LIFETIME? 379 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,976 LIKE THE WHOLE-TIME-OF-MY-LIFE LIFETIME? 380 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,976 I DO, GODFATHER. 381 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,000 YOU MUST KISS THE PINKY. 382 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:52,977 MMM. 383 00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:57,976 LOVE, PEACE, AND SO-O-O-O-O-UL! 384 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,976 YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY... 385 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:08,000 [ SNORES ] ...A "SOUL TRAIN" DANCER! 386 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,976 THE BOSSMAN WANTS SOME FACE TIME WITH YOU AND DICK. 387 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,976 BUT I HAD ESTABLISHED MY OUTFIT LONG BEFORE THIS 388 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,976 MARMALUKE STARTED MUSCLING IN WITHOUT SO MUCH AS PAYING ME MY 389 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,000 VIG! YOUR VIG?! 390 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,976 MY THING WAS "SOUL TRAIN," NOT "ROCK-'N'-ROLL TRAIN." 391 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,000 BUT MAYBE YOU'RE JUST STUPID AND YOUR BRAINS ARE SCRAMBLED JUST 392 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,976 LIKE MY "SOUL TRAIN" BOARD YOU TRIED TO BLOW UP! 393 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,976 HOW 'BOUT YOU GIVE A NICE WARM "SOUL TRAIN" WELCOME FOR MY FOOT 394 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,520 IN YO' ASS? GOOD ONE, MR. CORNELIUS. 395 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,976 THOSE MOTHERFUCKIN' MOULINYANS OWE YOU, MR. CLARK. 396 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,976 AAH! 397 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,000 [ ALL GASP ] >> YOU DISAPPOINT ME, MAN. 398 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,600 I'M SORRY. THE FAKE EYE THROWS ME OFF. 399 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,976 WHO... WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO? 400 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,976 YEAH. ACTUALLY, I NEVER HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU'RE LOOKING AT 401 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,976 AT ANY GIVEN TIME. 402 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,976 I'VE CALLED THIS MEETING BECAUSE THERE IS DISCORD AMONG 403 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,976 US... DISCORD THAT HAS COST US A LOT OF MONEY. 404 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,400 D.C., WHEN I HEARD ABOUT WHAT YOU DID, I WAS GONNA BURY YOUR 405 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:04,977 ASS IN THE DESERT. 406 00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:06,976 UH, YEAH. 407 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,976 WE'RE ACTUALLY BOTH "D.C." 408 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,976 YEAH. AGAIN, YOU KNOW, UH, THE EYE. 409 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,976 SHUT THE FUCK UP, THE BOTH OF YOUSE, OR I'll TAP-DANCE A. 410 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:14,977 HORA ON BOTH YOUR FACES! 411 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,976 IT'S TIME WE SETTLE THIS VENDETTA IN AN HONORABLE WAY... 412 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,976 A DANCE-OFF, YOUR BEST VERSUS HIS BEST. 413 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:28,976 LOSER IS OFF THE AIR, BABE, FOR GOOD. 414 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,976 CREAM, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY CORNHOLE THAT DICK 415 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:33,977 HASN'T BANGED UP. 416 00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:35,976 NOW, YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO WIN THIS DANCE-OFF, RIGHT? 417 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,977 Cream Corn: OH, DON'T YOU WORRY, DON! 418 00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:38,976 THERE'S NO WAY I'MA LET YOU DOWN! 419 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,976 THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR, 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T WIN... 420 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,976 [ SNORES ] ...I'MA KILL YOU. 421 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,976 [ SNORES ] FRED BERRY, TOO. 422 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,976 Cream Corn: [ WHIMPERS I >> HERE YOU GO, 423 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,976 BLACK DYNAMITE... ONE ORDER OF OX ASS AND TRUFFLE, ON THE 424 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:54,977 HOUSE. 425 00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:56,976 Black Dynamite: THANKS, ROSCOE, BUT ALL THE FREE OX ASS. 426 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,976 AND TRUFFLES IN THE WORLD COULDN'T SOLVE MY PROBLEM. 427 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,976 I JUST WISH I COULD LEARN HOW TO MAKE CREAM CORN LEARN. 428 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,976 NAW, THAT AIN'T WHAT LEARNIN' IS, DYNAMITE. 429 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,976 SEE, WITH KIDS, YOU GOT TO LET THEM FUCK UP ON THEIR OWN. 430 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:06,977 TAKE MY SON, HERMAN, FOR EXAMPLE. 431 00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:09,201 Black Dynamite: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A SON, ROSCOE. 432 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:09,977 I NEVER SEE HIM. 433 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:11,976 YEP... LITTLE HERMAN CAIN. 434 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,976 I TRIED TEACHIN' HIM THE FAMILY BUSINESS, BUT HE DON'T WANT TO 435 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,440 COMBINE FUCKED-UP FOOD COMBINATIONS. 436 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,976 HE JUST WANTS TO DO PIZZA BY ITSELF AND CALL IT "GODFATHER." 437 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,976 BUT THAT BOY DEFINITELY A FUCK-UP, AND HE AIN'T GOIN' 438 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:20,977 NOWHERE. 439 00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,976 Black Dynamite: ROSCOE, THAT'S IT! 440 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:23,977 IT'S WHAT? 441 00:18:24,001 --> 00:18:25,976 Black Dynamite: IT'S NOT CREAM CORN'S CERTAINTY OF. 442 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:26,977 FAILURE. 443 00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:28,976 IT'S THAT HE'S WILLING TO FACE DEATH FOR WHAT HE BELIEVES IN, 444 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,976 REGARDLESS OF HOW STUPID AS FUCK IT IS. 445 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,600 AND IT'S ABOUT TIME I FACED IT WITH HIM. 446 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:33,977 UH, WAIT! 447 00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:35,976 YOU AIN'T EVEN ATE YOUR OX ASS, BLACK DYNAMITE! 448 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,000 ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! 449 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,976 DON'T YOU DISAPPOINTMENT ME, CREAM CORN. 450 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,976 AND WHERE'S YOUR PARTNER, FRED? 451 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,840 Cream Corn: BLACK DYNAMITE! LORD HAVE MERCY! 452 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:51,977 I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE! 453 00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:53,976 Black Dynamite: I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW YOU MAY BE HALF A. 454 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,976 PIMP, BUT YOU'RE A WHOLE MAN, CREAM CORN, AND THAT I GOT TO 455 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:56,977 RESPECT. 456 00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:58,976 Cream Corn: THANK YOU, BLACK DYNAMITE. 457 00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,977 Black Dynamite: NOW YOU GO OUT THERE AND BREAK A... 458 00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:01,976 AAAAAAH! MY LEG! 459 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,977 THEY POPPED MY LOCKS! 460 00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:06,976 THERE'S NO WAY I CAN POPLOCK WITH MY LOCKS POPPED, RAJ! 461 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:07,977 WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW? 462 00:19:08,001 --> 00:19:12,976 OH... [ SNORES ] ...JESUS! 463 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,976 Cream Corn: THIS LOOKS LIKE THE JOB OF DICK'S MUSCLE. 464 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,976 CLARK, YOU DIRTY DICK. 465 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,976 NOW WE CAN'T GET THIS POP DANCE-OFF UNLOCKED WITH A 466 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,976 POP-LOCKER WHO CAN'T POPLOCK! 467 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:21,977 IT'S A TWO-VERSUS-TWO CONTEST. 468 00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:25,976 SINCE WE DON'T HAVE ANOTHER DANCER, WE'RE FORCED TO FORFEIT. 469 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,976 BLACK MUSIC IS DONE FOREVER. 470 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,160 Cream Corn: WHAT?! NO FAIR! 471 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:31,977 JAMES BROWN AND DENEY TERRIO? 472 00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:34,976 THAT'S THE WHITE CAT THAT TAUGHT JOHN TRAVOLTA HOW TO DANCE 473 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,840 BLACK. IT'S A UNBEATABLE MIX OF FUNK AND DISCO! 474 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,976 Black Dynamite: THIS IS TRUE, BUT FUNK AS WELL AS DISCO BOTH. 475 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:40,977 HAVE ASSES. 476 00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:43,000 AND IF IT HAS AN ASS, THEN IT CAN BE KICKED, AND 477 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,520 BLACK DYNAMITE LEAVES NO ASS UNKICKED. 478 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:46,977 CAN YOU DIG IT? 479 00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:48,976 NOW SOMEBODY GET ME SOME LAWN-JOCKEY, POP-LOCKER THREADS 480 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,976 SO WE CAN SHOW THESE SUCKERS HOW IT'S DONE! 481 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 COME ON, CREAM CORN. 482 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,120 LET'S DANCE. IT'S GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK, DYNAMITE. 483 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,976 Black Dynamite: CORNELIUS, I'M NOT DOING IT FOR YOU. 484 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,976 I'M DOING IT FOR CREAM CORN, BLACK MUSIC, AND ALL THE 485 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,976 MULTIPLE BITCHES I PLEASURE AT THE SAME TIME WHILE 486 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:05,977 LISTENING TO IT. 487 00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:09,000 [ UP-TEMPO DANCE MUSIC PLAYING I >> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 488 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,976 [ MUSIC STOPS ] THE WINNER IS... 489 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,976 "SO-O-O-O-O-UL TRAIN." 490 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,976 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> FUCK. 491 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,976 NO MORE BLACK NIGGER MUSIC FOR ME. 492 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,280 I'M STICKING WITH DISCO. COME ON! 493 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:15,977 Cream Corn: WE DID IT, BLACK DYNAMITE! 494 00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:17,976 WE BEAT DICK! 495 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:18,977 Black Dynamite: WE SURE DID, CREAM CORN, AND IT'S ALL THANKS. 496 00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:20,976 TO ME. 497 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,976 MAN, YOU MADE THEM FIREWORKS LOOK JUST LIKE AN ACCIDENT! 498 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,976 I MAY HAVE TO USE YOU AGAIN ONE DAY. 499 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,280 HEH HEH! THANK YOU, MY FRIEND. 500 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,976 I TOLD YOU IF I SHOULD EVER NEED A FAVOR, I'D EXPECT YOU TO 501 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:32,977 DELIVER, AND YOU DELIVERED. 502 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,976 AND IN CASE YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT, UH... 503 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:41,976 [ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ] [ SINGING INDISTINCTLY ] 504 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,976 UH, D-D-DON, DOES THAT MEAN WE'RE EVEN? 505 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,000 HELL, NO, NEGRO! 506 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,976 [ SNORES ] PULL UP MY CAR! 507 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,976 ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE! Black Dynamite: UH, I'll BE 508 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,977 THERE IN A MINUTE. 509 00:21:55,001 --> 00:21:57,000 FORGOT MY LAWN-JOCKEY HAT.