1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,976
DETERMINE IF, UM, CONGRESS
SHALL CUT FUNDING FOR THE

2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,976
PUBIC BROADCA...
WHAT IS THIS? "PUBLIC."

3
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,976
PUBLIC BROADCASTING SYSTEM,
PBS, CURRENTLY AT $20 MILLION A YEAR.

4
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,976
OKAY, ROGERS. IT'S YOUR FLOOR.

5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,976
SENATOR PASTORE, I'M THE HOST
OF A TELEVISION PROGRAM ON PBS

6
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,976
CALLED... >> "MISTER ROGERS'"

7
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,480
"NEIGHBORHOOD."
YES, WE ALL ARE AWARE.

8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,976
COULD I TELL YOU THE WORDS OF
ONE OF THE SONGS ON OUR PROGRAM

9
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,976
THAT I FEEL IS VERY IMPORTANT?

10
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:29,977
SURE. WHY NOT?

11
00:00:30,001 --> 00:00:33,976
IT'S YOU I LIKE BECAUSE YOUR
BACK IS HAIRY LIKE A BEAR.

12
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,976
IT'S YOU I LIKE, NOT YOUR FAT
BOOTY BOTTOM THAT BARELY FITS

13
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,976
THE CHAIR... NOT YOUR MAN BOOBS
OR YOUR OBVIOUSLY FAKE HAIR.

14
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,976
I MAKE NO JUDGMENTS ABOUT HOW
UGLY YOU ARE AND TELL YOU I LIKE

15
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,976
YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

16
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,976
MISTER ROGERS, I
THINK... >> WAIT, SENATOR.

17
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,976
I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO YOUR
FLACCID LITTLE DING-DONG AND

18
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:56,977
YOUR ELEPHANTITIS OF THE NUTS.

19
00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:59,976
OR WOULD YOU RATHER JUST
GIVE ME MY HUSH MONEY NOW?

20
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,976
[ LAUGHTER ] >> LOOKS
LIKE YOU JUST EARNED

21
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,976
YOUR $20 MILLION.

22
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,976
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>
MISTER ROGERS, PUT IT HERE,

23
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:09,000
BABY! CONGRATULATIONS!

24
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,976
ALL OF US AT PBS
KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.

25
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,976
OH, I'M JUST PLEASED FOR ALL
THE CHILDREN WE'LL BE ABLE TO

26
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,880
CARE FOR OVER THE NEXT
FEW YEARS. YEAH, YEAH.

27
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:18,977
DON'T WORRY, ROGERS.

28
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:23,976
TRUST ME... THIS $20 MILLION IS
GONNA LAST A LONG, LONG TIME.

29
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:28,976
[ CHEERS AND LAUGHTER
I >> GUESS WHAT, GUYS...

30
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,976
THIS $20 MILLION
DIDN'T LAST LONG AT ALL!

31
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,976
REALLY? ALL I DID WAS BUY
THIS OPULENT MANSION, IMPORT

32
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,976
THIS COKE FROM COLOMBIA, AND
THROW A FEW PARTIES WITH BITCHES

33
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:37,977
AND MONEY BONFIRES!

34
00:01:38,001 --> 00:01:40,976
WHOO! BURNIN' MONEY!

35
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,976
YEAH, AND THIS IS THE CHEAPEST
LUXURY SUBMARINE THEY

36
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,880
HAD! [ LAUGHS ] CAN'T SAY
THE SAME FOR THE HOES,

37
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,360
THOUGH! QUALITY
HOES ARE EXPENSIVE.

38
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,976
HEY, WHAT ARE WE GONNA
TELL THAT GUY MISTER ROGERS?

39
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:51,977
OH, OH! I KNOW!

40
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:56,976
[ BUZZING ] FUCK
HIM, THAT'S WHAT!

41
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,976
HEY, QUIT HOGGING
THE TITTY COCAINE!

42
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:03,976
[ LAUGHS ] >> ♪
DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE

43
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:09,976
♪ HE'S DYNAMITE ♪ SO DYNAMITE

44
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:14,976
♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH ♪ OOOHHH

45
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:21,976
♪ AHHHH ♪ HE'S DYNAMITE

46
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:26,976
♪ DY-NO, DY-NO ♪ OOOHHH, OOOHHH

47
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:33,976
♪ OOOOHHHH ♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!

48
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000
THIS WEEK...

49
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,976
Cream Corn: OOH, YEAH,
GIRL. THAT'S HOW I LIKE IT.

50
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:43,977
RUB A LITTLE HARDER,
YOU'LL GET SOME MILK.

51
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:45,976
Honey Bee: CREAM CORN!

52
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,976
BRING YOUR LITTLE ASS OVER HERE
AND STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF.

53
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,977
NASTY ASS.

54
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:50,976
[ STATIC ] >> Bullhorn:
MAN, THIS ANTENNA.

55
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,976
BEEN A HEMORRHOID IN
MY ASS NIPPLES ALL DAY.

56
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,976
AND THIS RAGGEDY OLD
MOTHERFUCKA BETTER NOT BE

57
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000
SHRINKIN' MY DICK WITH
ALL THESE MICROWAVES!

58
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,976
BULLHORN, "MISTER
ROGERS" IS GONNA START!

59
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,977
WE'RE GONNA MISS IT!

60
00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:02,976
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW TO FIX NOTHING.

61
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:03,977
Bullhorn: BITCH!

62
00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,976
I'M ADJUSTING THESE RABBIT
EARS AS BEST AS I'M ABLE!

63
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,976
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY THE FUCK
WE DON'T JUST BREAK DOWN AND GET

64
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,976
SOME GODDAMN CABLE!

65
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,976
All: YAY!

66
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,760
Honey Bee: BULLHORN!
COME HERE! COME HERE!

67
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,976
Bullhorn: ORPHEENS,
DON'T GO NO PLACE.

68
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:18,977
KEEP YOUR ASS SITTIN' TIGHT.

69
00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:21,976
BULLHORN WILL BE BACK FASTER
THAN YOU CAN SAY, "DOLEMITE"!

70
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:22,977
Black Dynamite: HEY, Y'ALL.

71
00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:24,976
I KNOW THIS IS SHORT NOTICE,
BUT I NEED YOUR HELP TO THROW A

72
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,976
SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY TODAY.

73
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,976
Cream Corn: A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR ME?! Honey Bee: SHHH!

74
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000
SHUT... SHHH!

75
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:31,977
Black Dynamite: FOR THE ORPHANS.

76
00:03:32,001 --> 00:03:33,976
WE NEVER CELEBRATE THEIR
BIRTHDAYS ANYWAY, MOSTLY BECAUSE

77
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,976
THERE'S 30 OF THEM AND I
CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THOSE

78
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:36,977
GODDAMN DATES.

79
00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,976
BESIDES, WE DON'T KNOW WHEN
HALF THEIR BIRTHDAYS ARE ANYWAY.

80
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,976
SO TODAY IS GONNA BE THE
DAY WE CELEBRATE ALL OF THEM.

81
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,976
Honey Bee: OKAY, LOOK, I
THINK THAT IF YOU TWO GO OUT...

82
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:44,977
BULLHORN, WHERE YOU AT?

83
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,976
WE SAID, "DOLEMITE"
LIKE 50 TIMES ALREADY!

84
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,976
Bullhorn: ORPHEEN, YOU AIN'T
SITTIN' WHERE I TOLD YOU TO.

85
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:49,977
STAY!

86
00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,976
CAN'T YOU SEE WE TRYIN' TO
INCONSPICUOUSLY PLAN YOUR

87
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,976
MOTHERFUCKIN BIRTHDA...
Honey Bee: DEFECTS!

88
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,976
YEAH, WE'RE TALKIN'
'BOUT YOUR BIRTH DEFECTS!

89
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:56,977
> BUT "DEFECTS"
DON'T RHYME WITH...

90
00:03:57,001 --> 00:03:58,976
Honey Bee: HUSH, BOY, AND GO
SIT YOUR LITTLE SMART ASS DOWN!

91
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,976
[ SIGHS ] >> Black
Dynamite: OKAY.

92
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,976
SO, WE GOT TO GET THIS
WHOREPHANAGE READY FOR A

93
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,976
SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY THAT
THESE ORPHANS WILL BE SURPRISED BY.

94
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,976
Honey Bee: AND HOW THE
HELL WE GONNA DO THAT?

95
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,976
YOU SEE HOW NOSY THESE LITTLE
MOTHERFUCKERS ARE. >> AAAH!

96
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:11,977
Cream Corn: OOH, I KNOW!

97
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,976
WE TAKE THE KIDS TO SEE
THE "MISTER ROGERS" SHOW.

98
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,976
THEY SEEM TO LOVE THAT
LEARNING SHIT Black Dynamite: FINE.

99
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,976
NOW WHAT PRESENTS WE
GOT? Honey Bee: OKAY, LOOK.

100
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,000
I GOT THIS CUTE LITTLE
MY MOMMY DOLL FROM THE...

101
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:21,977
Black Dynamite: WHAT
ARE YOU THINKING?

102
00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:23,976
IF WE GIVE THAT MOMMY DOLL TO
THE ORPHANS, ALL IT'S GONNA DO

103
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,976
IS REMIND THEM THAT THEY AIN'T
GOT NO MOMMIES, AND IT'LL BREAK

104
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,976
THEIR LITTLE PARENTLESS HEARTS.

105
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,976
Bullhorn: SO WE GOT TO FIND
NEW GIFTS AT FULL PRICE OR ON.

106
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,976
CLEARANCE THAT DON'T REMIND
THEM ORPHEENS THAT THEY AIN'T GOT NO

107
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:33,977
PARENTS!

108
00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:35,976
Cream Corn: OKAY, LOOK... I
DON'T KNOW 'BOUT Y'ALL, BUT I'M.

109
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:36,977
READY TO COME OUT OF
THE CLOSET. Honey Bee: HMPH.

110
00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:38,976
IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME.

111
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:47,000
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE [
SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING ]

112
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:54,976
[ SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING ]

113
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000
[ TROLLEY DINGS
I >> LOOK... IT'S

114
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:01,977
SPEEDY DELIVERYMAN MR. McFEELY.

115
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,976
WHAT YOU GOT FOR
US TODAY, MR. McFEELY?

116
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,960
HEY, MISTER ROGERS!
TODAY I GOT YOU THIS PIANO!

117
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:06,977
A PIANO? WOW!

118
00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:09,976
LOOKS LIKE THAT CONGRESS
MONEY IS STARTING TO PAY OFF.

119
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,976
BOYS AND GIRLS, LET ME SHOW
YOU HOW I HIT THE G-SPOT...

120
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:13,977
I MEAN, NOTE.

121
00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:17,976
YOU JUST PRESS THESE KEYS,
AND EACH ONE MAKES A DIFFERENT

122
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:17,977
SOUND.

123
00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:19,976
YAY! YAY!

124
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:20,942
Black Dynamite: NOW,
THIS IS AN ENVIRONMENT

125
00:05:20,966 --> 00:05:21,976
I CAN SAFELY SAY THE
ORPHANS WILL BE SAFE IN.

126
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,976
NOW'S OUR CHANCE TO SLIP
OUT AND GET THEIR PRESENTS.

127
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,976
COME ON, Y'ALL. >> Honey Bee: BLACK
DYNAMITE, ARE YOU SURE YOU JUST WANT TO.

128
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:26,977
LEAVE THE ORPHANS LIKE THIS?

129
00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:28,976
Black Dynamite: LOOK AT 'EM.

130
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:29,977
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU SEEN
THEM THIS INTERESTED IN SOME

131
00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:31,976
SHIT YOU WERE SAYING?

132
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,976
NOW, IF THERE IS A WHITE MAN YOU
CAN TRUST, IT'S A MISTER ROGERS

133
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000
WHITE MAN.

134
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,976
[ SOFT PIANO MUSIC
PLAYS ] [ NOTE PLINKS ]

135
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,360
OH, WAIT. THIS ONE SOUNDS WRONG.

136
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:41,977
A BROKEN PIANO STRING.

137
00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:43,976
SEE, NEIGHBORS?

138
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,976
LIFE IS FULL OF PROBLEMS, BUT
YOU CAN FIX THEM YOURSELF BY

139
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,976
PRETENDING THAT
THEY'RE NOT PROBLEMS.

140
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,976
LET'S PRETEND THIS BROKEN PIANO
STRING IS A MAGICAL GOLD WAND

141
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,976
THAT CAN MAKE ALL
YOUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY.

142
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,976
[ CHILDREN CHEER AND LAUGH
I >> Black Dynamite: OKAY, GANG.

143
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,976
LET'S NOT FUCK THIS UP,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE BUYIN'

144
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,976
BIRTHDAY PRESENTS FOR
AT LEAST ANOTHER YEAR.

145
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:04,977
Cream Corn: OOH, HERE'S
A CUTE GOO-GOO BABY!

146
00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:07,976
I LOVE GOO-GOO BABIES!

147
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,976
Black Dynamite: WE CAN'T GET
THEM THIS BABY DOLL 'CAUSE.

148
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,976
BABIES COME FROM MAMAS, AND
MAMAS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE DON'T

149
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,800
WANT THEM THINKING
OF. Bullhorn: ALL RIGHT.

150
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,976
SURELY WE CAN'T GO WRONG
IF WE GET THESE ORPHEENS THIS

151
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,976
STRETCH ARMSTRONG!

152
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,976
Black Dynamite: I DON'T WANT THEM
WRAPPING SKRECH ARMS AROUND.

153
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,976
EACH OTHER 'CAUSE THEY'LL JUST
THINK OF THE HUGS THEY NO LONGER

154
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,976
GET FROM THE PARENTS THEY NO
LONGER HAVE. Honey Bee: OKAY. OOH!

155
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,976
HOW ABOUT THIS LIGHT-UP
SIMON SAYS MEMORY GAME?

156
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,976
Black Dynamite: HONEY BEE,
THE LAST THING WE WANT THEM.

157
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,976
ORPHANS TO DO IS REMEMBER
SHIT LIKE THEIR PARENTS.

158
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,976
Cream Corn: OKAY, HERE.
A TOTALLY INNOCENT.

159
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,976
NON-PARENTAL-REMINDING
LIONEL TRAIN SET!

160
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,976
Black Dynamite: I DON'T WANT
ORPHANS PUTTING THE TRAIN.

161
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,960
IN THE TUNNEL! Honey
Bee: TRAINS IN THE TUNNEL?

162
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:43,977
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE
TO DO WITH ORPHANS?

163
00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:45,976
Black Dynamite: YOU KNOW...
PUT THE TRAIN IN THE TUNNEL.

164
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,976
IT'S A EUPHEMISM, LIKE THE TRAIN
IS THE DICK, AND IT GOES IN THE

165
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:49,977
TUNNEL.

166
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,976
Cream Corn: WELL, THEN, WHAT'S
THE TUNNEL... MY ASSHOLE?

167
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,976
Black Dynamite: OKAY,
WHAT WE GOT LEFT?

168
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,976
Bullhorn: THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
HERE I CAN FIND THAT AIN'T GONNA.

169
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,976
REMIND THESE ORPHEENS OF PARENTS
AND A HAPPIER TIME, EXCEPT MAYBE

170
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,976
THESE TOY GUNS,
KNIVES, AND LAND MINES!

171
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:02,977
Black Dynamite: I DON'T KNOW.

172
00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:04,976
MAYBE WE SHOULD GET' 'EM
NOTHIN', 'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY

173
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,976
THING I CAN THINK OF THAT
WON'T REMIND THEM OF SOMETHIN'.

174
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,976
[ BELL DINGS ] >> WE'RE
BACK IN FIVE, FRED!

175
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,600
THANKS FOR LETTING
ME KNOW THAT, ABE.

176
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,360
YOU'RE GREAT WITH NUMBERS. WHAT?

177
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,976
OH, HI, THERE, PUBLIC
BROADCASTING FRIENDS.

178
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,976
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO
USE SOME OF THAT MONEY FROM THE

179
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,976
GOVERNMENT TO GET SOME
NEW EQUIPMENT AROUND HERE.

180
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,000
MONEY? WHAT MONEY?

181
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:22,977
OH, THAT MONEY IS ALL GONE.

182
00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:24,976
YOU SEE, YOUR SHOW
JUST ISN'T PROFITABLE.

183
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,976
NOT TO WORRY,
THOUGH, FREDDY BABY!

184
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,976
WE GOT A WHOLE STABLE OF
PRODUCT-ENDORSEMENT DEALS

185
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,976
THAT'LL SHOOT OUR
BUDGET SKY-HIGH!

186
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,976
WELL, I'VE GOT TO SAY I'VE
NEVER BEEN A FAN OF ENDORSING.

187
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,976
HEY, KIDS ARE GONNA BEG THEIR
PARENTS FOR SUGARY BAD SHIT

188
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,976
ANYWAY, SO THEY MIGHT
AS WELL GET IT FROM US!

189
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,976
AND WE'VE GOT THE SHIRT
THAT PROMOTES THE SODA!

190
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:43,977
DOUBLE PUMP!

191
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:45,976
WE CALL IT THE "OBESI-TEE"!

192
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,976
GET IT? OBESE? TEE? T-SHIRT?

193
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:48,977
Y-YOU JUST HAD TO BE THERE.

194
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,976
AND WE'VE GOT SNACKTIME COVERED!

195
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,680
OH, MY, FELLAS. THAT
LOOKS LIKE COCAINE.

196
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,720
I'll CALL THE POLICE.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

197
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,976
WITH COKE PRICES THESE DAYS?

198
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:57,977
THIS IS PURE REFINED SUGAR.

199
00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:00,976
A SURVEY WE DID SAID 100% OF
DRUG ADDICTS USED TO BE KIDS!

200
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,720
YOU BELIEVE THAT?!
AND FINALLY, CARTOONS!

201
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,976
CHECK IT OUT... OUR NEW
ADDITION TO "MISTER ROGERS'

202
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,977
NEIGHBORHOOD"!

203
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:08,976
OH SHIT! IT'S "WAKA
BLOCKA BLAOW!"

204
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,976
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!

205
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,976
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT' EM!

206
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,976
SO, YOU JUST INTRODUCE THESE
CARTOONS, TELL THE KIDS TO BUY

207
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:17,977
SOME CRAP...

208
00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:19,976
WELCOME TO THE
NEIGHBORHOOD, BITCH!

209
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,976
ENOUGH CASH FOR AT
LEAST THREE SUBMARINES!

210
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,600
HUH?! HUH?! [ KA-CHING!
I >> SORRY, FRED.

211
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:24,977
WE GOT TO DO THIS.

212
00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:26,976
WE JUST DON'T KNOW
WHERE THE MONEY WENT.

213
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,976
IS MY MONEY TIE ON STRAIGHT?

214
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,000
I TOLD YOU THEY DON'T CARE
ABOUT THE KIDS LIKE WE DO.

215
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,976
WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?
MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME COCAINE.

216
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,976
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ALWAYS
SAID YOU'D DO IF IT CAME TO THIS.

217
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,976
IF NO ONE IS GOING TO PROTECT
THE KIDS FROM ALL THE BAD IN THE

218
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,976
WORLD, IT HAS TO BE YOU.

219
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,976
YOU KNOW, FRIENDS, I TRY TO
TEACH MY CHILDREN A LESSON ABOUT

220
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,976
OVERCOMING PROBLEMS WITH
THEIR IMAGINATION, BUT I GUESS

221
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,976
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO FIND
THE THING THAT'S BROKEN AND TAKE

222
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,200
IT OUT. PUT THAT DOWN, FRED.

223
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,976
[ MEN SCREAMING ] [ THUD ]

224
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:05,976
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE
Black Dynamite: NOW, SEE?

225
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,976
THIS CAN'T SAY, "BIRTHDAY."

226
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,976
WE CAN'T HAVE THE ORPHANS
THINKING ABOUT HOW THEY WAS ONCE

227
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,976
BIRTHED, 'CAUSE THAT WOULD
REMIND THEM OF THEIR MAMA'S

228
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:13,977
VAGINA, WHICH IS CONNECTED TO...

229
00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:15,976
Cream Corn: WHAT'S
THAT, BLACK DYNAMITE?

230
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,976
Black Dynamite: A MAMA!

231
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,976
BETTER, ALTHOUGH NOW THAT
I THINK OF IT, EACH OF THOSE

232
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:21,977
ORPHANS WAS BORN ON A DAY.

233
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:23,976
HMM.

234
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,976
DO Y'ALL THINK "HAPPY" MIGHT
BE TOO CLOSE TO "PAPPY"?

235
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:31,000
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE >>
YOU KNOW, KIDS, WE ALL HAVE

236
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,977
PROBLEMS.

237
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:36,000
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW
ABOUT A NEW WAY TO SOLVE YOUR

238
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,976
PROBLEMS. [ GIGGLE S] >>
I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS PART

239
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,480
BEFORE. WHY DOES
HE LOOK LIKE THAT?

240
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,976
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE MAD
THAT YOU FEEL, WHEN EACH WAY YOU

241
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,976
WALK IS UPHILL, WHEN THE
GROWN-UPS ARE WORKING AGAINST

242
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,976
YOU AND ALL YOU
CAN DO IS TO KILL?

243
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,976
[ ALL GASP ] DON'T RUN AWAY.

244
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,976
DON'T ADMIT DEFEAT.

245
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,976
JUST POINT YOUR GUN
UP AND FIRE ONE VOLLEY.

246
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,976
[ ALL SCREAM ] ALL YOU
KIDS HOP OUT OF YOUR

247
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,976
SEATS AND GET ON THE
MOTHERFUCKING TROLLEY.

248
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,976
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] >> TIMMY, NO!

249
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:07,977
THAT'S MY SON.

250
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:09,976
RONDELL. RONDELL. RONDELL!

251
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,280
THERE YOU GO. WATCH THAT STEP.

252
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:12,977
RONDELL, COME BACK!

253
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:14,976
WHITE KIDS, TOO, LADIES.

254
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,000
RONDELL! TIMMY, NO!

255
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:16,977
RONDELL!

256
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:19,000
WE'RE MOVING, BOYS AND
GIRLS, OFF TO THE REAL

257
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,281
LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE. [
CHILDREN CHEER ] [ TROLLEY DINGS ]

258
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,680
NO! NO, NO, NO! FRED!
I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!

259
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,976
[ CRASH ] >> RONDELL!

260
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,976
WELL, IT'S TIME TO MOVE, BITCH.

261
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:29,977
NOW SAY, "BYE," KIDS!

262
00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:31,976
DON'T LET THEM PUT YOU IN
THE BACK OF THAT WHITE MAN'S

263
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,976
TROLLEY!

264
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,976
[ PEOPLE CLAMORING ] >>
WELL, WHERE'S BLACK DYNAMITE

265
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,600
WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!
WASN'T HE JUST HERE?!

266
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:39,977
Black Dynamite: OKAY, Y'ALL.

267
00:10:40,001 --> 00:10:41,976
NOW LET'S GET THESE ORPHANS
AND HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EV...

268
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,976
WHAT THE FUCK? >>
[ Sobbing ] RONDELL!

269
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:45,977
OH, TIMMY!

270
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:47,976
OH, JIMMY! MY BABY!

271
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,976
Honey Bee: DAMN,
DAMN, DAMN IT, BLACK...

272
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
[ SIREN WAILING ]

273
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,976
Black Dynamite: WHO'S
IN CHARGE HERE?

274
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,976
SARCASTICALLY, MISTER
ROGERS IS IN CHARGE.

275
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,976
Black Dynamite: CHIEF RODNEY
MAGILAHORN, HONKIES FROM.

276
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,976
THE ATF... I CAN'T SAY I'M
HAPPY TO SEE YOU, SO I WON'T.

277
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,560
WHAT'S THE LOWDOWN?
Cream Corn: DAMN!

278
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:08,977
MISTER ROGERS DID ALL THIS?

279
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,201
MAKES ME QUESTION EVERY
LESSON I EVER LEARNED FROM HIM.

280
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
I KNEW SHARING FROM YOUR
HEART WAS A CROCK OF SHIT

281
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,976
MISTER ROGERS KIDNAPPED
ALL THE KIDS IN THE AUDIENCE AT

282
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,976
GUNPOINT AND ESCAPED VIA TROLLEY
DOWN THIS TUNNEL, WHICH SEEMS TO

283
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,360
HAVE BEEN BUILT FOR THE SOLE
PURPOSE OF KIDNAPPING KIDS VIA

284
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:24,977
TROLLEY.

285
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:26,976
SO, AS SOON AS WE GET THROUGH
THESE ROCKS, WE'RE GONNA USE OUR

286
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,976
BIGGEST, HARDEST UNIT
AND PENETRATE THAT TUNNEL.

287
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,976
Cream Corn: OH, I GET IT!
THE TUNNEL'S A VAGINA!

288
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:31,977
YEAH.

289
00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:33,976
Black Dynamite: CHIEF
MAGILAHORN, I RESPECT YOU AS.

290
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,976
MUCH AS I CAN RESPECT ANY
INCOMPETENT COP WHO ALWAYS

291
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,976
FUCKS THINGS UP, BUT UNLESS
YOU GOT SOME GOOD INTEL, YOU

292
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,976
NEVER JUST STORM INTO A
SITUATION AND START SHOOTING...

293
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,976
UNLESS YOU'RE BLACK
DYNAMITE, THAT IS, AND YOU'RE NOT

294
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:43,000
BLACK DYNAMITE. I AM.

295
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:44,977
HE'S JUST A KIDDIE-SHOW HOST.

296
00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:49,000
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO...
STRANGLE ME WITH HIS CARDIGAN?

297
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,400
[ TROLLEY DINGS ]
[ TROLLEY DINGS ]

298
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,976
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] >>
OH, WELL, HELLO, LITTLE

299
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:09,977
TROLLEY.

300
00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:11,976
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] WHAT'S
THAT, LITTLE TROLLEY?

301
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,976
[ TROLLEY DINGS ] THERE'S
A S.W.A.T. TEAM COMING

302
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,976
TO TAKE AWAY ALL THE
KIDS? [ TROLLEY DINGS ] OH, NO!

303
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,000
WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

304
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,976
BUT WHY ARE THEY COMING
TO GET US, MISTER ROGERS?

305
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,976
WELL, BOYS AND GIRLS, HOW
'BOUT I TELL YOU IN A SONG?

306
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,976
[ CHILDREN CHEER ] ♪
POW! POW! POW! POW!

307
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,976
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT
'EM! ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!

308
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,976
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM! ♪
THEY SHOW YOU ASS AND SEX, SO,

309
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,976
BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM! ♪
♪ ADULTS DON'T GIVE A FUCK

310
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,000
SO, BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
♪ ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!

311
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,976
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT
'EM! ♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!

312
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,976
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
♪ THEY'LL GET YOU HOOKED ON

313
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,976
SMACK, HEROINE
AND COKE AND SHIT ♪

314
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,976
♪ THEN YOU'LL SELL YOUR
MAMA OR EVEN SUCK A DICK ♪

315
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:56,976
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!

316
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,976
♪ VIOLENCE, GUNS, AND SEX,
WE'RE GONNA SNAP THEIR NECKS ♪

317
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,976
♪ THE GROWN-UPS WANT TO FLEX,
WE'LL PUT THEIR ASS IN CHECK ♪

318
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000
♪ POW! >> HEH HEH.

319
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,976
OKAY, BOYS! SADDLE UP!

320
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,640
HUT! HUT, HUT, HUT!
HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT!

321
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,976
Black Dynamite:
MAGILAHORN, I'M GOIN' IN.

322
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,976
NO. NO ONE CAN GO AFTER HIM.

323
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,976
THOSE MEN ARE ALL GONNA DIE!

324
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,800
Honey Bee: SPEEDY
DELIVERYMAN MR. McFEELY?

325
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:20,977
OH, DAMN!

326
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,976
LOOKS LIKE YOUR ASS AIN'T
GONNA BE DELIVERIN' NO MORE MAIL!

327
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,976
Bullhorn: YOUR BACK IS BROKE,
YOUR LIMBS ARE TWISTED.

328
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,976
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU
JUST GOT DOUBLE-FISTED.

329
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,680
CALL THEM BACK! IT'S
JUST WHAT HE WANTS!

330
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:29,977
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

331
00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:32,976
THEY'RE DEAD MEN
"HUT, HUT, HUTTING"!

332
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,976
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
THAT 30 COPS AGAINST ONE OLD

333
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000
TV HOST IS A NO-WIN
SITUATION FOR US?

334
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:39,977
WAIT! YOU DON'T KNOW?

335
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,561
YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE SECRET
OF FRED ROGERS THAT NO ONE KNOWS

336
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:43,977
ABOUT?

337
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,976
Black Dynamite: TELL ME,
DISMEMBERED MAILMAN!

338
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:46,977
FLASH BACK!

339
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:49,976
FLASH BACK FOR ME, AS I HAVE
NO PAST WITH MISTER ROGERS, SO I

340
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:50,977
CANNOT FLASH BACK FOR MYSELF!

341
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,976
CAPTAIN FRED ROGERS...

342
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,976
IS THE BADDEST
MOTHERFUCKER I EVER KNEW!

343
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:02,976
I FIRST KNEW HIM IN
1958, BEFORE HE TURNED.

344
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,976
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ] WE
AIN'T GETTING THROUGH THAT!

345
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,976
THERE'S GOT TO BE AT
LEAST 100 COMMIES IN THERE!

346
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
UGH! UGH!

347
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,976
WELL, HELLO,
THERE, LITTLE FELLA.

348
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:18,977
ARE YOU SCARED?

349
00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:20,976
IT'S A SCARY PLACE, ISN'T IT?

350
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,976
IT'S OKAY TO BE SCARED.

351
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,000
IT'S OKAY TO NOT KNOW
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

352
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:26,977
I'M SORRY!

353
00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:28,976
I DIDN'T MEAN TO
TURN OUT THIS WAY!

354
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,976
IF ONLY THERE HAD BEEN POSITIVE
INFLUENCE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD AND

355
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,976
THAT TAUGHT ME IMPORTANT VALUES
OF SHARING, BEING FRIENDLY, AND

356
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,976
RESOLVING PROBLEMS IN A
CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER, THIS WOULD

357
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,840
HAVE TURNED OUT
DIFFERENT. I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

358
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,976
WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAND ME
THAT PINEAPPLE, VERY SLOWLY?

359
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,976
OKAY?

360
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,976
[ BULLET ZOOMS ] NO!

361
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,976
HY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-AH!

362
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,976
UGH!

363
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:58,977
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

364
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:00,976
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

365
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000
UGH!

366
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:03,977
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

367
00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:11,976
[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

368
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,976
AND THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING.

369
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,976
BEIRUT, 1960.

370
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,976
CUBA, 1961.

371
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,976
SINAI, 1967.

372
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,976
ANYTIME THERE'S KIDS INVOLVED,
NOBODY STANDS A CHANCE.

373
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,976
UGH!

374
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,976
Honey Bee: DAMN
IT, BLACK DYNAMITE!

375
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,976
I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU
CONVINCE ME TO LEAVE MY BABIES

376
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,976
BY THEMSELVES WITH
THIS CRAZY PSYCHO MANIAC!

377
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,977
Black Dynamite: OKAY.

378
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,976
NOW, HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED
TO KNOW THE NICEST, FRIENDLIEST,

379
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,976
SOFT-SPOKENEST MOTHERFUCKA IN
THE WORLD WOULD TURN OUT TO BE A

380
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,976
CRAZY MANIAC PSYCHO HONKY?!

381
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,976
ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT WASTE
TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW

382
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,976
BLACK DYNAMITE FUCKED UP AND
COULD HAVE POTENTIALLY COST THE

383
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:48,977
ORPHANS THEIR LIVES.

384
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:51,976
NOW, I ASSURE YOU MY
MEN CAN HANDLE THIS FIGHT.

385
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,976
HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT!

386
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,976
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

387
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,400
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
NOOOOO!

388
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:01,977
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

389
00:16:02,001 --> 00:16:05,000
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

390
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,977
OH, GOD!

391
00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:09,976
WE CANNOT HANDLE THIS FIGHT!

392
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,976
[ TROLLEY DINGS ]
Honey Bee: [ GASPS ]

393
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:18,000
WHAT THE FUCK?! Cream Corn: OHH!

394
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,976
OH SHIT! SOMEBODY SURVIVED?!

395
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,976
SEE? I TOLD YOU THEY
WERE PROFESSIONALS!

396
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,976
I DON'T THINK HE WANTS
US TO BE HIS NEIGHBOR.

397
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,976
Cream Corn: GOD DAMN!
MISTER ROGERS DID THIS, TOO?!

398
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,976
I AIN'T NEVER SAYING, "PLEASE"
OR "THANK YOU" FOR THE REST OF

399
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:31,977
MY WHOLE FUCKIN' LIFE.

400
00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:34,976
[ TROLLEY DINGS ]
Honey Bee: UH-OH.

401
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,976
Black Dynamite: LOOK OUT!

402
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:37,977
Bullhorn: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

403
00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:43,976
[ ALL SCREAM ] >> Black
Dynamite: ALL RIGHT.

404
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000
THAT'S IT.

405
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:46,977
I'M GOING IN THERE AND GETTING
THOSE ORPHANS BACK THAT NEVER

406
00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:48,976
BELONGED TO ME
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

407
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,976
NOT WITHOUT US HONKIES
FROM THE ATF, YOU'RE NOT.

408
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,000
THE ATF HONKIES ARE IN
COMMAND NOW, BLACK DYNAMITE.

409
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:55,977
YOU DIG?

410
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:57,976
Black Dynamite: WHATEVER YOU
GOT TO TELL YOURSELF, CHIEF.

411
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,976
BUT THE ONLY THING YOU'LL BE
DIGGING IS MORE HONKIES FROM THE

412
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:00,977
ATF's GRAVES.

413
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:02,976
LISTEN, BLACK DYNAMITE, YOU
JUST STAY BEHIND US AND WE'LL

414
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:03,977
TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

415
00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:05,976
Black Dynamite: YOU KNOW, FOR
THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I'M.

416
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
INCLINED TO DO WHAT A
CRACKER COP TELLS ME TO.

417
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:37,976
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

418
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,976
Black Dynamite: SUEY!

419
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

420
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,976
BLACK DYNAMITE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

421
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000
Black Dynamite: JUST
STAYING BEHIND YOU, SUCKA!

422
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,976
BLACK DYNAMITE, I'M
NOT GONNA MAKE IT!

423
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,976
GO ON WITHOUT ME! Black
Dynamite: ALL RIGHT! WAIT, WHAT?!

424
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,976
Black Dynamite: SUEY!

425
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!

426
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,976
WELL, HI, THERE.

427
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,976
I SURE DIDN'T EXPECT
ANYBODY TO SURVIVE ALL THAT.

428
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,976
BUT, GOSH, SURPRISES
MAKE ME HAPPY.

429
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,976
Black Dynamite: I WISH I
COULD SAY THE SAME,

430
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,976
MISTER ROGERS, AND I AM
IMPRESSED BY YOUR ABILITY TO

431
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:25,977
SLAUGHTER MOTHERFUCKERS
WITH A CARDIGAN.

432
00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:27,976
BUT THIS AIN'T NO PLEASANTRY
VISIT TO YOUR MAKE-BELIEVE LAND

433
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,976
OF MURDER AND DEATH.

434
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:30,977
SOME OF THOSE KIDS THERE
BELONG TO MY WHOREPHANAGE.

435
00:18:31,001 --> 00:18:32,976
WHAT EVER IS A WHOREPHANAGE?

436
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,976
Black Dynamite: IT'S LIKE AN
ORPHANAGE BUT WITH A LOT MORE.

437
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:35,977
PUSSY >> OH, I SEE.

438
00:18:36,001 --> 00:18:38,976
YOU MUST BE THE BLACK DYNAMITE
SOME OF THESE KIDS HAVE BEEN

439
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:39,977
TALKING ABOUT.

440
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:41,976
YOU RAISE THEM AROUND SEX,
VIOLENCE, AND FOUL LANGUAGE.

441
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,976
WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT'S
GOING TO DO TO THEM?

442
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,976
Black Dynamite: LISTEN, ROGERS,
I'M STARTING TO LOSE MY.

443
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,976
PATIENCE WITH YOU, SO
I'M DROPPING THE "MISTER."

444
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,976
NOW I GOT TO EVICT EVERYBODY
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

445
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,976
YOU KNOW, IT'S EASY TO TAKE
A GUN AND ANNIHILATE YOUR

446
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,976
OPPONENT, BUT IT'S SO MUCH MORE
FUN SOMETIMES TO JUST WRAP YOUR

447
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,976
SWEATER AROUND A MOTHERFUCKER!
Black Dynamite: MR. ROGERS,

448
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,976
YOU AIN'T THE ONLY ONE THAT
MASTERED THE ANCIENT ART OF

449
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,976
CARDIGAN KUNG-FU!

450
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:09,976
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!

451
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:10,977
Black Dynamite: UGH!

452
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:13,041
♪ SWUNG AND HE MISSED,
BLACK DYNAMITE DON'T TAKE

453
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,976
NO SHIT ♪ ♪ OH, THERE
GOES THE CARDIGAN

454
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,976
IN HIS EYE ♪ ♪ HE
HIT HIM, AND HE MOVED

455
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,977
♪ KNOCKED HIM DOWN,
AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO PROVE ♪

456
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:24,976
♪ BLACK DYNAMITE, OOH! ♪
MISTER ROGERS 'BOUT TO GET UP

457
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,976
WITH THE KNIFE! ♪
♪ BREAK HIS ARM!

458
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,976
♪ HE 'BOUT TO DO HIM WRONG
WRAP IT AROUND HIS NECK ♪

459
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,976
♪ LOOK AT THE KIDS, THEY'RE
GETTIN' CONCERNED, OH, LORD ♪

460
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:35,977
KIDS? UH, OKAY.

461
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:38,976
WHAT DID MISTER ROGERS TEACH
YOU ABOUT DEALING WITH THESE

462
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:39,977
BITCHASS GROWN-UPS?

463
00:19:40,001 --> 00:19:41,976
♪ KIDS, YOU BETTER
NOT SAY SHIT ♪

464
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
COME ON, KIDS! SAY IT!

465
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:44,977
WE CAN'T.

466
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:46,976
BLACK DYNAMITE ALWAYS TAUGHT
US TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN

467
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000
GROWN FOLKS IS TALKING.

468
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:49,977
Black Dynamite: THAT'S MY
BOY, LIL' ORPHAN ARNOLD.

469
00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:51,976
NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!

470
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,976
YOU GROWN-UPS CAN'T BE
TRUSTED, BLACK DYNAMITE.

471
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,976
ALL YOU'RE GONNA DO IS SMOTHER
'EM WITH ASS, GUNS, AND DRUGS.

472
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,320
Black Dynamite: YOU KNOW,
IT'S FUNNY YOU BRING THAT UP,

473
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,976
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN
THINKIN' ABOUT THIS WHOLE EPISODE.

474
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,976
SEE, I REALIZE I'VE BEEN DOING
THE SAME THING ALL ALONG.

475
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,976
I CAN'T HIDE THE FACT THAT THESE
ORPHANS DON'T HAVE ANY DAMN

476
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,976
PARENTS, AND YOU CAN'T SHELTER
THEM FROM THE REAL WORLD BY

477
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,976
PUTTIN' THEY ASSES IN A
MAKE-BELIEVE LAND THAT'S REAL.

478
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,976
YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU GOT TO
ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE.

479
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,976
WELL, YOU GOT TO ACCEPT
THE WORLD FOR WHO HE IS, TOO.

480
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,976
UH, N-NO MATTER WHAT YOU
SAY, BLACK DYNAMITE, YOU'RE A

481
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,976
GROWN-UP, AND I
WON'T LISTEN TO YOU!

482
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,976
BUT, MISTER ROGERS,
AREN'T YOU A GROWN-UP, TOO?

483
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,976
[ GASPS ] OH, MY BEJEEBERS.

484
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:27,977
YOU'RE RIGHT.

485
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:30,976
BLACK DYNAMITE, YOU'VE
MADE TODAY A SPECIAL DAY.

486
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,976
I HAVE TO ACCEPT
MYSELF FOR WHO I AM.

487
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,976
I AM A GROWN-UP.

488
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:38,977
THANK YOU, BLACK DYNAMITE.

489
00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:40,976
NOW I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

490
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000
I CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

491
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,976
Black Dynamite: GLAD I
COULD HELP, MISTER ROGERS.

492
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,976
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES LOVE...
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA TAKE

493
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,976
THIS SWEATER AND WRAP IT
AROUND MY NECK AND SNAP MY...

494
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,976
Black Dynamite: MISTER ROGERS!

495
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:51,977
All: NOOOO!

496
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,976
[ CRUNCH! I >> WELL,
I'VE GOT TO SAY GOODBYE

497
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,976
FOR TODAY, BUT I'll SEE
YOU AGAIN SOON, NEIGHBOR.

498
00:20:59,000 --> 00:20:59,977
BYE, NOW!

499
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:02,976
♪ POW! POW! POW! POW!
♪ BITCH, I'M BUSTIN' AT 'EM!

500
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,976
♪ I BE BUSTIN' AT 'EM!
♪ I BE BUSTIN' AT 'EM!

501
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,976
♪ I BE BUSTIN' AT 'EM! >>
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!

502
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,160
BITCH! >> Black Dynamite:
ALL RIGHT, LITTLE ORPHANS.

503
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,976
SINCE I CANNOT SHELTER YOU FROM
YOUR PAINFUL PARENTLESS LITTLE

504
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,976
WORLDS, I WILL REMIND YOU OF
YOUR PAIN EVERY DAY AND THUSLY

505
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:18,977
MAKE YOU ALL A BETTER PERSON.

506
00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:20,976
[ CHILDREN CHEER ] HERE YOU GO,

507
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:21,977
LITTLE ORPHAN WILLIS.

508
00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:24,976
YOUR PARENTS WERE KILLED IN
A CAR CRASH, SO HERE'S A 1966

509
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,976
COUPE DeVILLE, THE SAME MAKE
AND MODEL THEY BURNED TO DEATH IN.

510
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,976
[ WHIMPERS ] >> Black
Dynamite: HERE YOU GO,

511
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,976
LITTLE ORPHAN PENNY.

512
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,976
YOUR MAMA WAS A HEROIN JUNKIE,
SO WE GOT YOU A DOLL WITH HOLES

513
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,976
IN THE ARMS TO REMIND YOU OF
WHY YOU WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

514
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,976
[ SOBBING ] >>
Black Dynamite: AND,

515
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,976
LITTLE ORPHAN STEVIE, WE GOT YOU
A PAIR OF TRACK SHOES TO REMIND

516
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,976
YOU OF HOW QUICK YOUR
DADDY RAN OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

517
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,976
[ SOBBING ] >> Black
Dynamite: HA HA!

518
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,976
NOW, ISN'T THIS THE BEST
BIRTHDAY Y'ALL EVER HAD?

519
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,976
Honey Bee: DAMN
IT, BLACK... UGH!

520
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,976
[ CHILDREN SOBBING ]
Black Dynamite: WHAT?

521
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,976
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
[ SOBBING CONTINUES ]

522
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,976
♪ DYNAMITE! DYNAMITE!
HEY, BLACK DYNAMITE!

523
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:04,000
YOU AIN'T SHIT ♪♪♪