1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,493
Previously on
"Black Dynamite"...

2
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:11,168
Aah! Sueeey!

3
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,219
You know and I know that
That Frog Kurtis is a...

4
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:17,048
Jive-ass motherfucker!

5
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,724
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

6
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,266
Wait, Black Dynamite,

7
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,095
I'm part of every lesson
you ever learned.

8
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,180
I got you... I got you out
of peeing in the bed.

9
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,877
Your daddy wasn't there for
that, Black Dynamite.

10
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,545
Your daddy wasn't there
for that, Black Dynamite.

11
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,981
Okay?

12
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:38,319
Black Dynamite, thank you for
coming on the puppet show

13
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,324
as my special guest
and best friend.

14
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,658
And you kids can forget
about everything

15
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,743
That Frog Kurtis...

16
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,582
Ribbit, motherfucker!
Ribbit!

17
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,427
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

18
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,469
♪ He's dynamite ♪

19
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,642
♪ So dynamite ♪

20
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,312
♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪

21
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,106
♪ Ooohhh ♪

22
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,398
♪ Ahhhh ♪

23
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:14,029
♪ He's dynamite ♪

24
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,606
♪ Dy-no, dy-no ♪

25
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:19,285
♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪

26
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,362
♪ Oooohhhh ♪

27
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:25,450
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪

28
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,619
This week...

29
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♪ Hooray, hooray, hooray, for whores ♪

30
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♪ That little pussy
can open up doors ♪

31
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♪ Hooray, hooray, hooray,
for whores ♪

32
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That brings back good
and bad memories,

33
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but memories nonetheless.

34
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These orphans are
so excited about

35
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,229
going disco skating
with you, Black Dynamite,

36
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,607
that they little asses
slept with their skates on.

37
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These orphans have spent
their whole lives being orphans.

38
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Sometimes they need a break.

39
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And there's nothing
like some good disco skating

40
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,402
to take the misery out
of being an orphan.

41
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Lord knows I can use a break,
and I got a mama.

42
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It's hard being a grown-ass pimp
living with your mama.

43
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Oh yeah, I forgot to go potty
before we left.

44
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:10,286
Cream Corn, hold your horses
and your wee-wee, please.

45
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,484
Looks like the traffic done
jammed and squeezed

46
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,749
- with Tasty Freeze.
- Black Dynamite!

47
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,426
You kids sit tight.

48
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,198
Don't worry, this traffic
jamming's not gonna

49
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,929
interrupt our disco jamming.

50
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,883
Hooray, hooray, hooray,
for whores ♪

51
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,264
Man, I'm glad to see you,
Black Dynamite!

52
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,437
Some preaching-ass fool
is having church

53
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,059
right in the middle
of all my pussy.

54
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I can't make <i>no money</i>.
- My camel toe need water.

55
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,152
Reverend Daddy Dynamite?

56
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,945
My long-estranged
daddy's name was

57
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,899
"Reverend Daddy Dynamite,"
and he was a reverend.

58
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♪ Get along, everybody,
cooperation is the key ♪

59
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,327
Now, I could lie to you and say

60
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,375
I'm just going out
for a pack a cigarettes,

61
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but the truth is,
I'm leaving you

62
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,419
to raise 8-year-old
Black Dynamite by yourself.

63
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Now dig it while you can,

64
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because the light just turned
motherfuckin' green.

65
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,801
Bye, bitch.

66
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,222
I never thought
I'd see the day when I'd get

67
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,270
to meet my daddy face-to-face
as Grown Dynamite.

68
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,769
This total coincidence might
just give Black Dynamite

69
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a sense of wholeness that
has eluded him

70
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,444
for most of his childhood life.

71
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I'm just saying.

72
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,487
Wait, please, don't leave.

73
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,318
I... I was just about to send

74
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:28,657
the collection plate
around again.

75
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- Daddy Dynamite?
- I know, I know.

76
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,288
Here's your tithes back.

77
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,416
No, Daddy, it's me,
your son, Black Dynamite.

78
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:37,089
Son, a lot of people have
that n...

79
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,301
Boy, I can't believe it.

80
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,629
You got the same mustache
you had

81
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,465
when you was 8 years old.

82
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♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

83
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,854
You know,
I never forgave Mama for running you away.

84
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,227
'Til this day I have yet to put
a flower on her grave.

85
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Well, actually, son, I just
did a little cool spin

86
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and walked the fuck out
on my own.

87
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Oh, well, I guess who left who
don't matter no more.

88
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,821
But what brought you back here
after all these years, anyway?

89
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,572
I read in the classifieds

90
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,745
that there was great
preaching opportunities

91
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,448
in the Black community.

92
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,032
So I came here to spread
the word.

93
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,788
But I don't know, son.

94
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,606
God's words don't seem to pay
like they used to.

95
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,246
Well, you can't give up, Daddy.

96
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,943
You're the only preacher I know
that tells it like it is.

97
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,878
I mean, you could have lied
to my mama you was

98
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,051
going out for a pack of
cigarettes, but you didn't.

99
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,550
Yeah, well, son, those were
the good old days.

100
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,472
Been nice chatting with you,

101
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,175
but Daddy Dynamite shall
be going.

102
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,556
Maybe I'll see you
in another 25 years, son.

103
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,479
But Daddy, we just reunited,
and it feels so good.

104
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,477
Why don't you just stay around
for a while?

105
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,980
Maybe I could help you out.
- Well, if you insist.

106
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,731
Uh, I didn't.

107
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,860
I mean, all I just need is a place
to freeload for a while.

108
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,282
You know, somewhere I can
shit, shower, and shave,

109
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,780
and pay nothing,

110
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,578
just until I get
my congregation up.

111
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,450
Well, we got plenty of toilets
to shit in

112
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,782
and enough whores to shower
and shave you for a lifetime.

113
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,333
You can stay
at the Whorephanage.

114
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,582
- Whorpha-who?
- That would be perfect, son.

115
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,583
It will also give us
a opportunity to catch up,

116
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,585
do some of that
father-and-son shit

117
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,417
you always dreamed about.

118
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,312
Honey Bee, call the whores
at the Whorephanage

119
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,588
and tell them to pick up
about 3,000 razors and enough

120
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,969
shaving cream to keep my daddy
in my life for good.

121
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,204
But Black Dynamite...

122
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,955
This is gonna be like living
at home together again,

123
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,469
just like when I was 8.

124
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:15,770
But this time, I'm a grown man

125
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,894
with whores and orphans
and a bunch of other shit,

126
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,600
but you... you get
the picture, Daddy.

127
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,276
Now, this won't mean a damn
thing to me

128
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,083
until I get to know you
a little bit better,

129
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,024
Black Dynamite.

130
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,822
Maybe even then it still won't.

131
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:29,493
But in the meanwhile,
give your daddy a hug, son.

132
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,367
Now, I hate to bring down this
whole room with a frown,

133
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,666
but I just remembered
we left a whole load of orphans

134
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,039
on wheels in a bus downtown.

135
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,042
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

136
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:45,421
Black Dynamite, you ain't shit!

137
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,266
Come on, son!
Come on!

138
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:15,948
You know this
father son shit ain't that bad.

139
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,999
Dynamite, dynamite.

140
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,667
Mm, you looking
mighty sharp, Black Dynamite.

141
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,421
Hadn't seen you in a while.

142
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,503
Well, at least not
without your daddy.

143
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,909
Honey Bee, I know this has been
a big transition for y'all,

144
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,973
but a daddy is what I've been
missing my whole life.

145
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,052
Well, yeah, well you just gotta
be careful, Black Dynamite.

146
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,685
Remember, he didn't come back
here for you.

147
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,265
And by the way, you know
you missed

148
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,921
little orphan Willis'
birthday party yesterday.

149
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,687
Not little orphan Willis'
birthday!

150
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:52,868
Nooooooooooooo!

151
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,536
- How was it?
- It was good.

152
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,705
But he missed you.
They all did.

153
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,407
I don't know if you
realize this,

154
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,539
but you're a daddy too,
Black Dynamite.

155
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:06,715
Ladies and gentlemen, the man
whose life I walked out of

156
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,792
when he was an 8-year-old
children.

157
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,753
The one that has not only
provided us

158
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,838
with a place
for whores and orphans,

159
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,890
but also for the word of God.

160
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:18,344
Give it up for my most beloved
son, Black Dynamite!

161
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,145
Can I get a "Dynamite,
Dynamite"?

162
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,938
Dynamite, Dynamite.

163
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,857
You know, when I look around
this room,

164
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,606
I see nothing but players,
pushers, pimps, and pros.

165
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,437
That's right.
That's what we are.

166
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,067
Preach, Daddy Dynamite, preach.

167
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,991
Now, God's just got one thing
for me to lay on you cats

168
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,785
and one thing only.

169
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,033
Daddy Dynamite
and Black Dynamite are

170
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,707
declaring holy war on anybody
hustling, pushing,

171
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,286
pimping, or selling hoes
in this community.

172
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,918
But... but Daddy Dynamite...
Slick Berg Ice, Master Fly,

173
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,796
Pimp Slick Micky, Black Zeus,
and myself,

174
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,378
we all sell hoes
to the community.

175
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,338
I know you're selling hoes.

176
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,720
But the problem is you're not
giving the proceeds to God.

177
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,552
Can I get a "Dynamite,
Dynamite"?

178
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,887
Dynamite... Wait, what?

179
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,689
And hoes, hah,

180
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,231
stop dragging your funky, ha

181
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,527
moose knuckles
up and down the street, ha

182
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,648
every night, ha,

183
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,071
only to give all your money away

184
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,399
to these pimps of sin, ha ha ha!

185
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,077
And if you're gonna sell
your pussy, ha ha,

186
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,655
sell that pussy for God.

187
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,332
If you're gonna pimp
that pussy, ha,

188
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,160
pimp that pussy, ha

189
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,461
for the lord!

190
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,256
You think that pussy belongs
to you, ha!

191
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,174
That is God's pussy

192
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,968
He created it, didn't he?

193
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,216
Can I get a "Dynamite,
Dynamite"?

194
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,092
Whoo! Dynamite.

195
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,174
So I say to you all!

196
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,852
Bitch, ha...
Bitch, ha-ha...

197
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,726
Bitch, ha-ha,
y'all better have...

198
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,934
y'all better have, aha..

199
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,737
Go-o-o-o-od's money!

200
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:55,191
Can I get a "dynamite"?

201
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,325
What the hell is going on?

202
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,618
Why you doing this,
Daddy Dynamite? Why?

203
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,366
Why? Why?

204
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,036
Listen and learn,
Black Dynamite,

205
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,619
because that God
who art in heaven

206
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,205
is a straight-up pimp.
Dynamite, Dynamite!

207
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,870
That's right. Bring your money
to me... Daddy D.

208
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,296
The only way to heaven is
through my pockets, baby.

209
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,795
Dynamite, Dynamite.

210
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:57,298
Now everybody gimme that
money-y-y-y!

211
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,714
Oooooh!
Take this pussy now, lord,

212
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,096
and fill it with your
holy spirit.

213
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:06,929
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

214
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:14,023
Y-Your life meant
everything to me, dad.

215
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:18,824
A-A-A-A-nd I'm gonna pick up
where you left off.

216
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:22,323
But there's just one thing
I got to do first.

217
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:25,201
And that's teach
B-B-B-B-Black Dynamite

218
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,248
that puppet blood ain't cheap.

219
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,918
Ribbit, motherfucker!
Ribbit!

220
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,244
Ribbit, motherfucker. Ribbit!

221
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:35,048
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

222
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,216
There he is, my son.

223
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,297
Look here, Black Dynamite...
Dynamite!

224
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,850
I'm thinking about moving
them whorephans/orphans,

225
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,847
or whatever you call them
to the basement

226
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:49,976
and turning their bedroom into
a gambling den for the lord.

227
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,306
What do you say, son?

228
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,358
Look here, Daddy,
I'm not gonna stand here

229
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,435
and let you take advantage
of my community's sins.

230
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,817
Now enough is enough.
- Hold on a second, son.

231
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,399
Will you hoes please excuse us?

232
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,279
Ooh, praise God.

233
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,533
Uh, yeah, your daddy was just
giving them some anointing.

234
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,990
Cut the bullshit, Daddy.
You're robbing the people.

235
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,146
Now, Black Dynamite don't believe
in fuckin' up his own daddy,

236
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,753
but I'm about to anoint my foot
in your ass, can you dig it?

237
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,625
What the devil has gotten
into you, boy?

238
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,332
I don't know who's been
raising you,

239
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,087
but it damn sure ain't been me.

240
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,780
Now you will show me
and the lord some respect.

241
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,761
Son, I might be making
a dishonest living,

242
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,839
but at least
I'm doing it honestly.

243
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,799
Now, when these motherfuckers
stop giving me

244
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,101
all their money and pussy,
I'll stop taking it.

245
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,974
Now, you're the one
who wanted me to stay.

246
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,226
That's because I wanted you
back in my life, Daddy.

247
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,524
But I guess nostalgia
ain't what it used to be.

248
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,318
You don't know
what it's like to grow up

249
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,215
with nobody to teach you
how not to pee in the bed

250
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,230
or how to make green
from yellow and blue.

251
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,656
Is that how they make it?

252
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,345
Well shit, I couldn't have
taught you that anyway.

253
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,576
- That's not the point.
- Look, all I hear from you...

254
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,324
is what you didn't have

255
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,135
'cause your daddy
wasn't there to raise you.

256
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,953
What about how dynamite
you turned out

257
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,830
because I didn't raise you?

258
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,208
I think it's
time for you to go, Daddy.

259
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,234
- I beg your pardon?
- You heard me! I said scram.

260
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,919
Split the scene, my daddy.

261
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,752
Your daddy walking out on you
made you the man you are today,

262
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,258
and this is the thanks I get.

263
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,305
Now, I could lie to you
and say...

264
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,806
Daddy!

265
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,436
Bye, bitch.

266
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,642
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

267
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,330
Excuse me,
B-Brother Daddy Dynamite.

268
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,453
Daddy Dynamite is no brethren
to no puppets.

269
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,159
Now, who the hell are you?

270
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,086
Allow me to introduce myself.

271
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,163
I am Brother Minister
That Bastard Kurtis,

272
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,499
son of the late
That Frog Kurtis.

273
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,425
And I must say that I was
truly touched

274
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,423
by your message the other night.

275
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,881
Su-su-su-su-such a powerful
word, my brother.

276
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,682
- You really think so?
- Oh, yes.

277
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,725
You see, brother,
I'm a minister, too.

278
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,519
I run a very successful temple
spreading

279
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,814
bean pies and incense all over
Pu-pu-pu-puppet Street.

280
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,393
So I can respect a man that's
out there getting God's money.

281
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,149
Yeah, well, I thought that
was the way to go, too.

282
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,948
But apparently I can't even make
a believer out of my own son.

283
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,696
You and I have a lot in common,
Brother Daddy Dynamite.

284
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,245
We should go for a ride.

285
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,164
You see, people are like diapers.
They're like diapers, yes.

286
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,538
Hard to change
and fu-full of shit.

287
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,619
Bu-Bu-Bu-But puppets,
on the other hand,

288
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,170
are full of cotton.

289
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,543
Once your hand goes up they ass,

290
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,590
you can make them
believe anything.

291
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,918
I-I-I-I believe puppets need
a master,

292
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:29,257
a-a-a-a somebody to control
the strings of their lives.

293
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:32,012
And if that don't float
the shit in your toilet,

294
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,935
they got a whole lot of money,

295
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,638
Br-Br-Br-Brother Daddy Dynamite.

296
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,564
Well, Brother
That Bastard Kurtis,

297
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,516
if you possess so much
profound insight,

298
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,941
why don't you reach
these puppets

299
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,440
and get their money yourself?

300
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,396
Do you hear this fuckin'
st-stutter?

301
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:49,075
Nobody will listen to a-a-a-a
stuttering frog puppet,

302
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,493
Daddy Dynamite.

303
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:51,945
But you got that gift
and that gab,

304
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,281
just like my daddy had.

305
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,286
Now, I got a st-st-studio

306
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,584
where my daddy used to shoot
his puppet shows at.

307
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,628
I want to bring it back
so we can do

308
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:03,173
the first human puppet show
ever on TV.

309
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,216
With your message and my show,

310
00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:07,544
you can be the biggest
TV puppet evangelist

311
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:11,802
in the w-w-w-world!

312
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,725
Brother Reverend Daddy Dynamite

313
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,223
and Brother Minister
That Bastard Kurtis.

314
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:19,147
Sounds like a match made
in heaven, right here on Earth.

315
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,065
Like Martin and Malcolm.

316
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,629
Now, what do you say
we start promoting

317
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,439
our new show, D-D-D-Daddy?

318
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,818
You don't mind if I call you
"D-D-D-D-D-Daddy," right?

319
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:32,073
Well, nobody ever called me
"D-D-D-D-D-Daddy" before.

320
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:35,030
But I guess I could get
used to it.

321
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:39,539
- Bean pie, my daddy?
- Don't mind if I do, son.

322
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:42,087
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

323
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,666
Wait, what?

324
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,502
"Daddy Dynamite and Brother
That Bastard Kurtis."

325
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,132
Hmm.

326
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,953
I don't know about this, man.
We fuckin' with Black Dynamite.

327
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,719
You know what? You acting like
a little bitch right about now.

328
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,521
Now, we gonna roll up
in the rink,

329
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,894
find these little marks,
and smoke them.

330
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,694
Awwwww shit, hey!
That's my song!

331
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:12,572
I'm about to shake what
my mama gave me and boogie.

332
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,619
Man, what I wouldn't give
to have a normal daddy

333
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,537
under some normal circumstances.

334
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,394
At least you had a daddy
to leave you when you was 8.

335
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,138
My daddy was a test tube.

336
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,127
Cream Corn, this moment is about
Black Dynamite's father issues.

337
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,275
Now, you gonna have to save that
test-tube-daddy B-story

338
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,290
for another day, you dig?

339
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,046
Sorry, Black Dynamite.

340
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,221
Here's the get-back, bitch.

341
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,061
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

342
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,661
Now, tell me
who sent you puppet fuckers

343
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,120
and why are you here?

344
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,172
Brother Minister
That Bastard Kurtis is

345
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,250
a very hateful puppet,
Black Dynamite.

346
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,177
He set this whole thing up.

347
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,221
He brought your daddy back
into your life

348
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,050
just to tear him away from you.

349
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,135
But your daddy is in trouble.

350
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,719
Honey Bee, Cream Corn, Bullhorn!

351
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,555
I need you to round up
these orphans

352
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,669
and get these wheels off them
quick, fast, and in a hurry.

353
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,604
My daddy's in trouble,
and he needs me.

354
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,562
Black Dynamite. Black Dynamite!

355
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,693
Black Dynamite, you ain't shit.

356
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,320
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

357
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,402
As you all know, I am
the Brother Minister

358
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,283
That Bastard Kurtis,

359
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,330
and I want to thank you all
for coming out

360
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:45,661
to the all-new God's Dynamite
Puppet Show-w-w-w!

361
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,879
Suey!

362
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,227
Uh, can I help you puppets?

363
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,644
Daddy, it's me, your son.

364
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,563
Now, hold on, puppet.

365
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,961
Daddy Dynamite has bumped
a whole lot of uglies in his day,

366
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,976
but I know for a fact I ain't
never laid no pipe

367
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,903
in no puppet poontang.

368
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,276
No, it's <i>me</i>, Black Dynamite.

369
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,028
Boy, what the hell are you doing

370
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,608
disguised in a damn
puppet costume,

371
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,364
looking like a damn puppet?

372
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,495
Well, that's why it's called a dis...
Look, Daddy...

373
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,894
there's something you need to know
about this That Bastard Kurtis.

374
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:26,535
He can't be trusted.
He's trying to kill you.

375
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,620
Impossible...
That Bastard Kurtis has been

376
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,500
more of a son
in these last few days

377
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:33,003
then you've been your whole
life, Black Dynamite.

378
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,863
That's because you walked out
on me when I was 8.

379
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,219
Oh, yeah.

380
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,513
N-Now it is time, brothers and s-s-sisters,

381
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,967
to give a warm welcome
to Reverend Bro-Brother

382
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,769
Daddy D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Dynamite!

383
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,899
Well, that's me.
Maybe I should scram.

384
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,943
- But Daddy...
- Bye, bitch.

385
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,942
Brother That Bastard Kurtis...
Kurtises?

386
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,528
Look at your face,
Black Dynamite.

387
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,809
What... what you thought I was
the only one, Black Dynamite?

388
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,416
Oh, yeah, I was the only seed,
Black Dynamite? Huh?

389
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,493
These brothers here are
my F.O.I. Brothers...

390
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,579
The Frogs of Incense.

391
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,664
Ribbit, motherfucker. Ribbit.

392
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,090
And by "brothers” I mean
biological, not Black.

393
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,214
Cut the toad shit,
That Bastard Kurtis.

394
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,657
You and I both know what
this is about.

395
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,672
That's right.

396
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:26,932
Can I get a "Dynamite,
Dynamite"?

397
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,959
Now, next time I ain't gonna
use no gun, 'cause us Kurtises

398
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,600
are packing in more than just
one place, brother.

399
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,685
You ever been smacked
across your face

400
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:37,738
by 50 fuckin' frog
d-d-d-d-dicks? Huh?!

401
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,535
Huh?
Huh?

402
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,266
I have. It ain't a good look,
Black Dynamite.

403
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,351
Don't flinch. It ain't coming yet.
The shit ain't coming yet.

404
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,286
When it's coming,
I'll let you know,

405
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,896
and I'm not coming at you
from one side.

406
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,662
I'm coming at you from both
sides, from up, from under.

407
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,169
You ever have your face
uppercutted by a... a frog dick?

408
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,000
You try to rope-a-dope like Ali,

409
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,960
but it's... it's too many dicks!

410
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,889
You motherfucker brother
Black Dynamite.

411
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,638
Kill they assess!
P-P-P-P-P-Please! Please!

412
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,845
Shoot his ass!
Everybody shoot!

413
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:13,479
Everybody shoot!
Yeah! Yeah! F.O.I., baby!

414
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:21,066
You mean to tell me
n-n-n-n-none of y'all motherfuckers

415
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,742
know how to shoot a gun?
Huh?

416
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,159
Are you kidding me right now?

417
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,203
I'm try... I'm trying not
to get upset.

418
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,281
Ahhh suey!

419
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,289
Bitch, a-ha! Bitch, ha-ha!

420
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:38,546
Bitch, a-ha!
Oh, lord, bitch, ha!

421
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:47,180
Suey!

422
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,538
You killed my fucking daddy.

423
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,678
You ripped my daddy in pieces,
motherfucker!

424
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,765
I'ma Kill your ass right now.
You dead, motherfucker!

425
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:57,147
Now everybody, gimme that moneeyyyy!

426
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,109
Bitch, ah! Bitch, a-ha!

427
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,615
Aaaah!

428
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,416
Like my daddy used to say,

429
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:14,870
"R-R-Ribbit, motherfucker!
R-R-Ribbit!

430
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,830
Aaaaah!

431
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,593
And like my daddy used to say,
"dig it while you can,

432
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:24,046
'cause the light just
turned motherfuckin' green.

433
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,471
Bye, bitch!"

434
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:29,222
Ahhhhhhhh!
- Dynamite!

435
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,518
The buck stops here, son.

436
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,365
Don't you see he's got
tadpoles in his shoes?

437
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,899
You kill him and this shit
will never stop.

438
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,567
In 13 weeks, we will
have another

439
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,691
little angry frog puppet
seeking revenge.

440
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:43,193
Look, your daddy's
messed up, son.

441
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:44,740
And if I wouldn't have left you,

442
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,488
this frog's daddy wouldn't
have raised you

443
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,240
to be the man you are today.

444
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:51,288
You'd probably be out there
polluting and not giving a hoot,

445
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,116
not preventing forest fires.

446
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,970
And who knows what colors
you would have been

447
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,956
trying to mix together
to get green.

448
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,084
And even though leaving you
made you a better man,

449
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,007
it doesn't make it right.

450
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,505
I'm sorry, son.

451
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,554
And I'm sorry I killed
your daddy on national TV,

452
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,640
That Bastard Kurtis.

453
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,932
But he was destroying the minds
of the children.

454
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,430
Fuck the minds of the children.

455
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,664
He was slapping people
in the face with frog dicks.

456
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,349
I know, Brother
Black Dynamite, I know.

457
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,680
Well, he's gone now.

458
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,391
So maybe you and I can
share your daddy.

459
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,755
He can be like both ours, but we
can keep him at my house.

460
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,315
But he still both our daddys.

461
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,487
You two are grown men
and frogs now.

462
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:26,316
You don't need a daddy like me
in your life no more.

463
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,572
Besides, you got your own
dad dying to do.

464
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:29,993
And do me a favor...

465
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,037
If you ever feel like walking
out on your kids,

466
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,458
just go get a pack
of cigarettes instead.

467
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:40,375
Well, I know this ain't the storybook
way to end the scene,

468
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,082
but once again it seems like

469
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,134
we done left
the motherfucking orphans.

470
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:48,430
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪

471
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,789
Whoo!

472
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:20,120
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪