1
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,046
Ha ha ha.
2
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,170
One more, and I break the bank.
3
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,500
Oh, dear.
4
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,302
Duty calls.
5
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,629
Keep those warm for me...
and the dice, too.
6
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:18,182
Get it? I was talking
about your titties.
7
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,351
007, there you are!
8
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,901
Quick, I don't have much time.
9
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,649
You must retrieve
the secret formula.
10
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,902
We must get our hands on it
before the Americans do.
11
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,153
Now...
- I know.
12
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,076
Find the rogue agent,
infiltrate his militia,
13
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,244
steal the secret formula,
get caught,
14
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,142
face impending doom, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
15
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,497
Exactly, James!
16
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,246
But if you already knew that,
why have me come here?
17
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,248
Merely so I can have
the satisfaction...
18
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,330
Of doing this.
19
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,333
You're the man now, dawg!
20
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,212
Well, I'm afraid
you've cleaned me out.
21
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,512
I've got no more money
22
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,636
unless I can give you
something else, Mister...
23
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,637
Dynamite.
Black Dynamite.
24
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,706
And, lady, offering
Black Dynamite "something else"
25
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,516
is like offering
the Jolly Green Giant
26
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:06,813
some frozen niblets.
27
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,811
Unless you got something
special, Miss...
28
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,017
Morehead.
29
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:11,728
Givinya Morehead.
30
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,813
Hmm mm. How much
"more head" we talkin'?
31
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,898
Black Dynamite, what are
you doing here?
32
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,529
I thought you were no longer fucking
33
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,610
with the undercover spy
honkies from the C.I.A.?
34
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:20,786
I'm not.
35
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,533
Right now I'm fucking
with these dice.
36
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:26,288
Now if you don't mind,
I got some bread to win.
37
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:27,584
- Oh!
- Snake eyes.
38
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:29,287
Well, Black Dynamite,
it seems that
39
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,292
you're halfway amazing,
but all the way man.
40
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,590
Miss Morehead!
41
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,384
Have you lost your mind?!
42
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,052
This was my game,
and she's with me.
43
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,050
Was with you.
Your bitch chose me.
44
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,132
Now we can handle this like
we got some class,
45
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,620
or we can get
into some gangster shit,
46
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:43,850
whatever-your-name-is.
47
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,395
It's Bond, James Bond!
You bloody well remember!
48
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,063
Yeah, how could I forget?
49
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,437
You're the second Bond,
James Bond I met tonight.
50
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,393
I say, old chap,
51
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,354
I am Bond, James Bond.
52
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,315
Fuck you, Roger Moore!
53
00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,400
I am Bond, James Bond.
54
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,407
There can be only one!
55
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,614
All right, ladies, Black
Dynamite just got one rule.
56
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,620
Now, if any of y'all
happen to be awake
57
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,372
in the morning
when I'm getting dressed,
58
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,953
don't wake up
the rest of the bitches.
59
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,790
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪
60
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:18,256
♪ He's dynamite ♪
61
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,179
♪ So dynamite ♪
62
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:23,803
♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
63
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,430
♪ Ooohhh ♪
64
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,726
♪ Ahhhh ♪
65
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:32,353
♪ He's dynamite ♪
66
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,026
♪ Dy-no, dy-no ♪
67
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:37,605
♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
68
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,861
♪ Oooohhhh ♪
69
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:44,240
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
70
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,914
This week...
71
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,050
Yeah! Ha!
72
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,128
David Carradine's
like a Chinese Chuck Norris.
73
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,903
Black Dynamite!
How was the French Riviera?
74
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,181
Bond, James Bond,
bitches, craps and shit.
75
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,804
You know, the usual.
76
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,431
What the fuck is that smell?
77
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,762
That would be me and my new
78
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,642
bottom-bitch barbecue
recipe for this year's
79
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,475
annual world-championship
barbecue competition!
80
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,230
I lost 10 years in a row.
81
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,041
But this year, I got
something for that ass!
82
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,697
Here, taste it.
Open up your mouth.
83
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,740
Taste it. Taste it.
- Uh, n-no, thank you, Bee.
84
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,930
I already threw up earlier.
Uh, hey, what y'all watching?
85
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,598
Only the baddest
Chinese cat to ever walk the Earth
86
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,238
with a Black belt
and some sandals.
87
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:28,788
"Kung Fu" with David Carradine!
88
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,835
Boy, anybody would be in a world of pain
89
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,995
if they ever messed with
motherfucking Kwai Chang Caine!
90
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,671
He taught me everything I know.
91
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,373
Just the thought of fighting him
92
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,003
makes my penis retract
into my body.
93
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,381
And if anybody that can do that
to my penis in my body,
94
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,382
they got to be the real
Kung Fu master!
95
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,009
Now that's a bunch of bullshit!
96
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,953
That ain't no Kung Fu,
and he ain't no China man.
97
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,955
And it wasn't even supposed to
be his slow white ass anyway.
98
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,561
The series was created
by Bruce Lee,
99
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,500
but the man stole it from him
and cast a cracker,
100
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,060
just like they did Jesus.
101
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,129
Now, Cream Corn, you wanna
learn some real Kung Fu,
102
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,736
follow me.
103
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,438
Honey Bee, is this barbecue,
104
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,443
or some shit you just shat?
105
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,821
Either way, please take
these baby back,
106
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,027
baby back, baby back ribs back!
107
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,704
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
108
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,406
Cream Corn,
the time has come for you
109
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,911
to learn your own Kung Fu.
110
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,458
That way, you won't have to use
111
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,081
that Chinese white man's
no more.
112
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,708
We're gonna start
with some basic shit,
113
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,130
some self-defense that even a
whore or an orphan could do.
114
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,958
Little orphan Penny,
I need a volunteer.
115
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,885
Ha! You expect me to spar
with lil' orphan?
116
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,929
Now, Penny,
I want you to pretend
117
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,598
Cream Corn stole your mama.
118
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,300
Come on, Black Dynamite,
you got to...
119
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,555
- Hyah!
- Aaaaaah!
120
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,012
Well done, little orphan Penny.
121
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,751
Now, Cream Corn, the nuts
are a common place
122
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,294
for a defenseless orphan
to kick a grown-ass man.
123
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,045
Now, you must protect
your nuts at all times,
124
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,060
no matter how minute
or hairless they are.
125
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,520
Wait. Hold on a minute.
126
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,481
Now, everybody be cool.
127
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,191
Honey Bee, are those
your ribs again
128
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,073
or does Black Dynamite
smell trouble?
129
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,081
Hyah!
130
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,166
Suey!
131
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,292
Suey Suey Suey!
132
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,383
Hyah!
133
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,755
Ahhhh sueeeyyyyy!!
134
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,467
Wha? Suey!
135
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,472
Black Dynamite, ha...
136
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,476
I see that roundhouse kick
still packs a punch.
137
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,102
Dennis Flynn, what did
Black Dynamite
138
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,775
tell you honkies from the CIA
139
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,226
about interrupting his kung fu?
140
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,232
Uhhhh, nothing, Black Dynamite.
141
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,564
You've told us not to ever
interrupt your seductions,
142
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,570
your interrogations,
and your jumping of rope,
143
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,277
but never your kung fu.
144
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,907
That might have been
someone else.
145
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,704
Well, from now on,
add my kung fu
146
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,452
to the honkies
from the C.I.A.'s list
147
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,159
of shit not to interrupt,
ya dig?
148
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,163
Very well.
149
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,165
Black Dynamite,
this is about 'Nam!
150
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,543
A.K.A. Vietnam,
A.K.A. "Nahm"
151
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,840
A.K.A. "Vietnahm."
152
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,838
Yeah, good ole Vietnams.
153
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:48,546
I remember all four of those
places like it was yesterday.
154
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,551
The fighting,
the jungle, the guns!
155
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,258
It was like a dream.
156
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,579
I can still smell the shrapnel!
157
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:54,968
That ain't shrapnu'.
158
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,054
I think that's Honey Bee's
barbecue... agggh!
159
00:05:57,148 --> 00:06:00,106
Look, I know how much you
miss Vietnam, Black Dynamite,
160
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,356
and we pulled the plug before
you could do the impossible,
161
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,403
which we already know
you're capable of,
162
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,151
but we need you, Black Dynamite.
163
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,950
We need you to go back
to Vietnam.
164
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,277
Black Dynamite, what's Vietnam?
165
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,954
A question a child might ask,
166
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,622
but not a childish question.
167
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,469
Still, Penny, Black Dynamite's
gonna need you
168
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,620
to shut the fuck up when grown
folks is talking, okay?
169
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,567
Now, Dennis Flynn, I know
I thought I told you honkies
170
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,707
a lot of shit,
but this, I know I told you.
171
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,838
Black Dynamite ain't fuckin'
with you honkies
172
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:27,838
from the C.I.A.
no more!
173
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,135
This isn't about the honkies
174
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,883
or what you told us,
Black Dynamite!
175
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,885
It's about this!
176
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,593
My best friend in 'Nam,
Larry Tureaud,
177
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,223
may his soul rest in peace.
178
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,601
No, he's not resting,
and he's far from in peace.
179
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,682
In fact, he is waging his own
war on the Viet Cong
180
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,392
out in the jungle.
181
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,102
That's impossible...
Larry shot himself
182
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,716
in his own head
playing Russian roulette,
183
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,175
then they hung him
with his own intestines
184
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,530
and dropped him in quicksand.
185
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,108
He got better.
186
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,513
He wasted the Charlies
holding him hostage,
187
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,404
ate them with the help of some
homemade barbecue sauce,
188
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,830
and now he's considered
like a barbecue God
189
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,374
to the jungle people.
190
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,873
Damn, that must be
some good-ass barbecue sauce.
191
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,422
We've sent
honky upon honky to try to find Tureaud.
192
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,715
They've all come back
in body bags,
193
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,760
limbs missing, with traces
of barbecue sauce on them.
194
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,247
He wants to restart
the Vietnam war,
195
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,139
and he's building his own
army to do it.
196
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,886
Black Dynamite, only you
can find him
197
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,389
and terminate him
with extreme vengeance!
198
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,160
Black Dynamite don't
terminate his friends.
199
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,517
Can you dig it?
200
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,336
Especially those he thought
was already terminated
201
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,129
and then later found out
they was still alive!
202
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,190
Well, if you don't,
Black Dynamite,
203
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,147
the government is going
to napalm the entire jungle!
204
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,528
And that friend of yours
will be barbecued to a crisp!
205
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,281
Damn, Dennis Flynn,
you sho' know how to twist
206
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,266
the arm in Black Dynamite's
heart and make him say uncle.
207
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,031
But that don't change what
I'm about to say.
208
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,742
I know, I know.
"Scram," you say, "scram."
209
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,248
You're making a big mistake,
Black Dynamite.
210
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,955
I guess this will make
the second time
211
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,290
you left him for dead... again.
212
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,461
I don't know what
all that was about,
213
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,092
but I need to know what was in
that damn barbecue sauce.
214
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,765
What does he mean
you left him for dead?
215
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,762
Tureaud was like my brother
from another mother.
216
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,470
Also with different siblings,
cousins, nieces, nephews,
217
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,475
aunts, and uncles,
et cetera, et cetera.
218
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,352
But he was great soldier
and a friend.
219
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,434
Until that fateful day...
220
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,451
Tureaud!
221
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,672
Should we wait for him?
222
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,592
Hell no!
That motherfucker's dead!
223
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,091
Black Dynamite is going back
to 'Nam to save his friend
224
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,092
for that reason
and that reason only.
225
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,719
That way, I won't be technically
226
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,413
fuckin' with the honkies
from the CIA no more.
227
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,394
Well, I guess we
going to Vietnam then
228
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,500
'cause I'mma find out what was
in that damn barbecue sauce.
229
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,435
We?! Did you say "we"?!
The hell you say!
230
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,439
Viet and Nam?
Hell and no, I won't go.
231
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,298
Cream Corn, get your little
narrow ass into some fatigues
232
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,108
and stop acting
like a little bitch.
233
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,239
I ain't acting, Honey Bee!
These tears are for real!
234
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,818
Round up the troops
and sound the alarm!
235
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,823
I say good night to L.A.
236
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,906
and go-o-o-o-o-od morning,
Vietnam!
237
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,750
♪ Dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
238
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,752
♪ dah-dah-dah-dah-dah! ♪
239
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,379
♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
240
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,381
Man, helicopters
just ain't my thing, Jack.
241
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,054
I keep having
these horrible nightmares
242
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,381
where I'm in a chopper
and it blows up and kills me
243
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,264
and Black Dynamite screams,
"Cream Corn, noooo!"
244
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,640
Whoever said you can't die
in your own dreams
245
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,267
is a God damn lie.
246
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:29,145
Honey Bee, I'm gonna need you
to get my back and shoulders.
247
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,852
Now, Vietnam maybe a day
at the beach for Black Dynamite,
248
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,799
but it could be a tsunami
at the beach for y'all.
249
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,063
So, you got to be careful.
250
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,865
I know that's right.
251
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,775
Suey!
252
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,252
Aaaaaaah!
253
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,426
Jaah!
254
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:03,054
Sueeey!
255
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,101
Black Dynamite!! Black Dynamite!
256
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,232
Black Dynamite!!
- Sorry, Bee!
257
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,904
I must have just been
having a flashback
258
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,199
to this one time when
my parachute wouldn't deploy...
259
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:24,371
Black Dynamite!
This ain't no flashback!
260
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,822
No-o-o-o-o!
261
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,407
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
262
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:35,131
Oh! Now that's some
shit I wish I didn't see.
263
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:38,802
No more cheese doodles for me,
crunchy or puffy!
264
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,378
I guess when you fuck around,
265
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,055
you really have to fuck around.
266
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,055
Woman, 'til you go curved,
you ain't never been served.
267
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,056
You need to put a cast on that little
268
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,888
bald, broke dick of yours.
269
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,768
Hush that fuss!
Y'all be cool.
270
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,270
You gonna give away
our location.
271
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,421
You all right? You almost
killed us with that flashback.
272
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,231
I'm sorry. I don't know
what came over me.
273
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,175
In the past, I'e had nothing
but pleasant dreams about 'Nam.
274
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,010
I don't understand what
happened, but don't worry.
275
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,490
Everything will be just fine.
276
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:02,989
From that display, I'd say,
277
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,036
"and everything
will not be just fine."
278
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,956
It looks like you got some
cold-blooded jungle memories
279
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:10,955
locked way back
in the back of your mind!
280
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,886
I hope I ain't crazy
and my mind ain't lost,
281
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,763
but I can swear I smell some
282
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,765
sweet and tangy barbecue sauce!
283
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,018
Hmm.
Tureaud must be close by.
284
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,725
Mmm!
Oh, my lord and Buddha...
285
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,060
this is the best damned
barbecue sauce ever!
286
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:40,773
I mean, this barbecue sauce
shits all over mine!
287
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,983
Ooh, I think that's honey dijon!
288
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,488
Oh, please. What?
289
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,348
Y'all ain't seen nobody eat
some barbecue sauce
290
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,652
off a skull
in the jungle before?
291
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,307
Now listen, Honey Bee,
while I'm thinking
292
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,853
of something to tell you
that won't have you
293
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,367
making any sudden movements...
294
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,499
don't make any sudden movements.
295
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,108
I got a booger
in my nose or something?
296
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,443
Girl, you got
a snake on your head!
297
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,174
Oh, my God, it's an anaconda!
298
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,093
Aah! Aaah! Aaaaaaaah!
299
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:08,179
- Aaaaaaah!
- Black Dynamite!
300
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,510
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
301
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,365
Nothing like a good ole
grenade to have handy
302
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,210
when you getting swallowed
by a giant anaconda.
303
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,396
Aah! What was that?!
304
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,227
Man, that don't
sound like no monkey
305
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,937
or no jungle cat.
306
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:23,023
BD... Black Dynamite
in parentheses...
307
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,858
Just what the hell was that?
308
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,490
Not a what, Bullhorn,
but a who, a how, and a why.
309
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,321
I get the feeling
we being watched.
310
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,123
And, Cream Corn, you gonna need
to get the fuck off my back.
311
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,856
Um, isn't there a tunnel
or something we can take?
312
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,666
I can't explain why,
313
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,464
but somehow I know
we have to go this way.
314
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,542
Maybe I should make sure
it's safe first.
315
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,262
Ahhhh! Ohhhh!
316
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,900
Tureaud!
317
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,604
Aaaah!
318
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,747
Tureaud! I'm sorry!
I didn't mean to leave you!
319
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:19,250
And why the fuck do you
look like Cream Corn?
320
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,922
Damn it! Not again!
321
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,000
Bullhorn, Honey Bee!
They're gone!
322
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,905
Face it, Black Dynamite,
your luck with friends
323
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,011
in the jungles of
Vietnam is pretty shitty.
324
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,588
Why don't we just do
like the army did
325
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,299
and quit while we still behind?
326
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,134
Snap out of it, Cream Corn.
327
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,908
Now, I already left
my best friend for dead
328
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,391
the first time I was here,
329
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,267
and I'll be damned
if I lose any more!
330
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,474
Now, can you dig it, huh?
Can you dig it?!
331
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,322
I'm sorry, Cream Corn,
but right now,
332
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,776
Black Dynamite's mind is
all tangled in jungle vines.
333
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,781
Wait, Black Dynamite, that's it.
334
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,613
You are having a severe
anxiety disorder
335
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,789
that has developed
after exposure to an event
336
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,708
that has resulted
in psychological trauma.
337
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,284
So, you are
re-experiencing trauma
338
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,165
with turducken
through flashbacks!
339
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,667
You mean Tureaud.
340
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,402
Since you know so much shit
about so much shit,
341
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,882
how do I get rid of these
flashbacks?
342
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,551
The only way to overcome them
343
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,173
is to confront
what happened to you
344
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,867
and learn to accept it
as a part of your past.
345
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,802
But the pain
is too much, Cream Corn.
346
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,305
And a real man buries his pain
so nobody can see it.
347
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,977
If you try to numb yourself
348
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,666
and push your memories away,
it'll just get worse.
349
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,668
I know you think kicking
somebody's ass in the dick
350
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,603
is the answer to everything,
Black Dynamite,
351
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,310
and usually it is.
352
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,341
But right now, you just kicking
your own ass in the dick.
353
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,026
Sometimes, you just got
to let it all out
354
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,116
and look like a bitch.
355
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,240
Works for me.
356
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:32,911
Cream Corn, thank you.
357
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:36,456
Why the fuck do you got
your arms out?
358
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,909
Never mind.
Thought we had a moment.
359
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,963
Now we need to find Tureaud
and make things right.
360
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,541
And in return for me
not killing you
361
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:43,752
in the midst of a flashback,
362
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,041
I'ma need you to do me a favor
363
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,175
and grow some hair
on your balls.
364
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:51,630
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
365
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,715
Ass.
366
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,471
And barbecue.
367
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,039
Cream Corn, let's go see
what's cookin'.
368
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,394
Well, if it is barbecued ass,
369
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,394
as hungry as I am,
I'ma eat it all.
370
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:07,696
Aaah! Aaah!
371
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:08,647
Aaah!
372
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,652
Honey Bee, who would
have ever thought
373
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,825
our lives would be lost
in damn Vietnam
374
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,495
in a pot of boiling
barbecue sauce?
375
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,492
Aaaah!
Ooh.
376
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,290
Damn! Barbecue Honey Bee
and Bullhorn
377
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,163
don't taste that bad.
378
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,621
Who would have thunk?
379
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,881
Damn, BD, it sure is funky
inside this camel.
380
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,883
By the way, you know camels
ain't indigenous...
381
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:34,885
Hush. We gotta free Honey Bee
and Bullhorn
382
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,183
before they lose all
they flavor.
383
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,308
My name is Black Dynamite.
384
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,518
I'm looking for Larry Tureaud.
385
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,228
Also goes by Lawrence.
386
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,858
Have you seen him?
387
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,657
I said, my name is
Black Dynamite!
388
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,654
I'm looking for Larry Tureaud.
389
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,113
He also goes by Lawrence!
Have you seen him?!
390
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,494
Black Dynamite, I shouldn't tell you this,
391
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,498
but since you saved my life
in that hut years ago...
392
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:06,376
The one with the ceiling fan
and my... my leg...
393
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,048
Hey, look who it is.
It's Buku Sow!
394
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,670
I was wondering
what happened to you.
395
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,738
I probably should've got your
little Chinese legs and feet
396
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,548
off that ceiling fan,
but you understand,
397
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,175
it... it was a war, I had to go,
398
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,306
people were waiting on me.
399
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,303
It's okay, really.
400
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,601
And I'm not Chinese,
but there's little time.
401
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,474
Colonel Tureaud... Ugh!
402
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,182
No!
Buku Sow!
403
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,482
My best friend in 'Nam,
Larry Tureaud?
404
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,533
Is that you?
405
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,911
Larry Tureaud died
in the jungle, fool.
406
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,955
Call me Mr. T.
407
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,602
First name "Mister."
Middle name period.
408
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,750
Last name "T"!
- You look crazy as hell...
409
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,295
but I gotta admit, too much
gold looks good on you.
410
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,621
It's the people meat!
411
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,252
Unlike pork, chicken,
and other animal
412
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,987
and vegetable proteins
your body can't use,
413
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,547
people provide essential
proteins
414
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,299
that are beneficial
to people 'cause...
415
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,971
well, they're people.
416
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,470
But I must admit, the white
meat is a little dry.
417
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,400
Mr. T., I don't care how
nutritious people are.
418
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,373
You can't go around barbecuing
humans like they chicken.
419
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,708
But they taste like chicken,
fool!
420
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,224
Really? I mean, I heard that
frog's legs taste like chicken
421
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,810
but, uh, I didn't...
But that's beside the point.
422
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,815
Now, I know these jungles
done drove you crazy
423
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,488
ever since I left you behind,
424
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,011
but I need to apologize so I can
stop having these flashbacks.
425
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,946
Left me behind?
I stayed behind, fool!
426
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,493
What you talking 'bout,
Mr. T?
427
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,196
You soldiers gone soft!
428
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,031
America gone soft,
so I got harder!
429
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,332
They killed our whole team
except for me and you, BD!
430
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,330
But the war never ended
for Mr. T! Hmmm!
431
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,107
Look, If I don't get your ass
out of here tonight,
432
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,734
the government's gonna barbecue
this whole jungle.
433
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,214
Can you dig...
434
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,279
Enough with this jibber-jabber!
Mr. T ain't going nowhere.
435
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,214
Either you with T,
or you against T.
436
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,171
Now, what's it gonna be,
Black Dynamite?
437
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:48,018
What the hell you do that for?
I was tasting good!
438
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,225
Ha! There they are!
439
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,186
My two best soldiers
together again!
440
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,817
Dennis Flynn,
what are you doing here?
441
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,718
The real reason why I needed
to find you, Tureaud...
442
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,699
First name "Mister,"
middle name period,
443
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,697
last name "T".
- Ehh, yeah.
444
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,654
...Was so I could get
my hands
445
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,659
on that sweet and tangy
barbecue sauce of his.
446
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,536
Hell, it was so good
I couldn't wait
447
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,288
'til the honkies
from the CIA came back
448
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,915
dead and dipped in it.
449
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:13,215
I would lick it
right off their skulls.
450
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,883
I told y'all it was good.
451
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,880
With your sauce and my thievery,
452
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,804
I'm a sure shot for
this year's championship
453
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,506
barbecue competition.
454
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,183
Wait.
You brought my ass back
455
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,805
to the Chinese
jungles of Vietnam
456
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,385
for some damn barbecue sauce?
457
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,687
I mean, why the hell else
would the CIA spend
458
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:31,812
all these resources
to find a crazy Negro soldier
459
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,518
in the jungle eating
barbecue-covered
460
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,195
Vietnamese villagers?
461
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,113
Dennis Flynn,
you backstabbin', manipulatin',
462
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,735
barbecue boostin' motherfucker!
463
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,737
You set us up!
- I pity the fool that tries...
464
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,741
to take Mr. T's tangy barbecue
recipe away from Mr. T!
465
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,323
Come on, Black Dynamite,
for ole time's sake,
466
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,454
let's give this honky
from the CIA a flashback
467
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,081
his ass will never forget!
Hmm!
468
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,129
Kill them all!
469
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,466
Aaah!
Titty technique.
470
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,514
Nipple in your eye!
471
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,853
Black Dynamite, you the man.
472
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,559
I mean... I mean, we all men,
473
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,236
but we all can't man up.
474
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,654
Maybe I can, but maybe I can't.
475
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,698
Cream Corn!
Unh!
476
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:23,527
If Black Dynamite
can face his fears,
477
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,487
then I guess I can
put some hair on my balls.
478
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,322
Aaaah!
479
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,889
Just like old times,
Black Dynamite.
480
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,557
Just like old times.
481
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,643
Oh, my goodness, guys!
Y'all are alive!
482
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,974
And my van's alive, too!
483
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,980
Yeah. When we found out
BD came to find you,
484
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:59,358
we figured we'd kill
two birds, ya dig?
485
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,051
We're gonna travel the world
as mercenaries
486
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,282
who give wrong-doers
just really minor injuries.
487
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,485
Whaddaya say fellas... join us?
488
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,819
I don't know, Hannibal.
489
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,558
All your jibber-jabber sounds
really good and all,
490
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,198
but I don't think America
has a place
491
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,020
for a growling Black man with
a Mandinka haircut,
492
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,411
feathers in his ears,
a neck full of gold,
493
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,542
camo shorts, and tube socks
up to his knees.
494
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,918
I ain't the same,
Black Dynamite.
495
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,294
I've changed.
496
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,626
Well, lucky for you,
America's changed, too, Mr. T.
497
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,257
Black alpha males have
a voice now.
498
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,908
Jim Brown and Muhammad Ali
are role models
499
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,422
who don't take
shit from the man.
500
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,370
Hell, George Clinton got
the hottest band in the country
501
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,010
and he even dresses
even worse than you.
502
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:31,686
Think of it like this...
503
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,458
If you ever get a hankering
for barbecued villagers,
504
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,402
you always got an exotic getaway
to come back to.
505
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,724
Mmm, mmm. And if you market
that barbecue sauce of yours,
506
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,234
you'll make millions.
507
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,278
I almost didn't mind being
cooked in it.
508
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,276
I love cooking people,
but I guess I can try
509
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,358
cooking for people instead,
Honey Bee.
510
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,888
Hannibal, let's get
one thing straight...
511
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,448
Ain't no way I'm flying.
512
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,371
Let's take my van,
and I'm driving, fool!
513
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,916
I love it when a plan
comes together.
514
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,584
Mr T., all the crates!
515
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,377
All of the barbecue sauce
is gone!
516
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,209
Thank you, Black Dynamite
517
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,837
for leading us
to Mr. T.'s secret recipe.
518
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,339
And it seems we may have
awakened
519
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,512
the rest of your bitches!
520
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,600
Later, baby.
521
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,224
Damn it, James Bondses!
522
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,769
Stay in your own damn franchise!
523
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,516
Look, Black Dynamite!
524
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,189
Lo and behold, I grew one!
525
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,086
I'ma put this under my pillow
for the hairy fairy.
526
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,943
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪