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♪ He's dynamite ♪
2
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,921
♪ So dynamite ♪
3
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♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
4
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♪ Ooohhh ♪
5
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♪ Ahhhh ♪
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♪ He's dynamite ♪
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♪ Dy-no, dy-no ♪
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♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
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♪ Oooohhhh ♪
10
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♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
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This week...
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Ho!
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Hyah!
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Ho!
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Hyah!
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Huah!
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Ow! Ugh!
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Damn! Damn!
Damn!!
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I can't even break a board
20
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with that big, Black
blueberry's face on it!
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And look at this!
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Is it really that important
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to have the whole Black
community on drugs?
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Of course not.
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I could give a damn
about the Black community
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and its mama.
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This is about Black Dynamite.
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He thinks he's so Black
and dynamite.
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Without the Black community,
there is no need
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for a Black Dynamite.
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Why don't you find another
Black that's not so dynamite
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to have an unhealthy
obsession about?
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Shut up!
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Now, give me an evil plan
35
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that will destroy
the Black community,
36
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thus rendering that
brillo-headed Black Dynamite
37
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obsolete once and for all!
38
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Well, Congress did just pass
a new domestic aid package,
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whose small print takes all
the money out of education,
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planned parenthood,
and public housing
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and puts it into
subsidizing illegal drugs
42
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in the Black community.
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Henry, you sick fuck.
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This is why I love you.
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With drugs so cheap, no blackie
alive will be able to resist,
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and soon, everyone will be dead,
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unproductive,
and hopelessly hooked.
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Hmm.
Two wrongs don't make a right,
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but when everything's too right,
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something's got to be wrong.
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What I'ma do? Huh? Huh?
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What I'ma do?
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Don't you shut that off
and give me the bait!
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Freeze, Tasty Freeze!
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Shit!
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Aaaah!
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Tasty Freeze, how many times
has Black Dynamite
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talked to you about selling drugs
in his community?
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I think it was twice,
Black Dynamite.
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See, there was the first time
you said not to,
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and then the second ti...
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Well, Black Dynamite only talks
with his mouth twice.
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The third time, he talks
with his hands.
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No, no, no, no, no, wait...
Ow! Stop!
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If you want
Black Dynamite's hand to stop,
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you better tell him something good.
Can you dig it?
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What I was trying to say, before your
hand so rudely interrupted me,
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is I ain't selling drugs
to the community no more!
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No, Black Dynamite, I swear to God!
I put it on all my hos!
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I'm selling drugs
for the community.
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I don't understand,
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and Black Dynamite don't like
not understanding shit even more
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than he don't like saying
shit three times with his mouth.
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Get his ass, Black Dynamite!
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These drug dealers are
messin' up the community!
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Since when have you complained
about the drugs
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in the community, Basehead?
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Since nobody will sell me none!
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I can't get no base from nobody
in this damn community!
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And without base,
I'm just a head.
81
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They fuckin' up my whole
identity, Black Dynamite!
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I ain't got time
for this, Basehead.
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Spare me your shuck,
and spare me your jive.
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No, no. He's telling the truth,
Black Dynamite.
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Now, will you shut
your fist up for a minute
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and just let me show you, man?
Please?
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Fine, let me back up my car
88
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so you ain't pinned to the wall
no more.
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I don't know how
it happened, Black Dynamite,
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but the moment
you left the community,
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it just got flooded with drugs.
I mean, good drugs.
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Good, good, good drugs.
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I mean, this shit have you
seeing unicorns and sasquatches,
94
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but not the big sasquatches...
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Like, the little, tiny sasquatches.
- Basehead!
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Well, anyway, Black Dynamite,
these drugs were so cheap,
97
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it was easy to turn a profit,
and Black people didn't
98
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even wanna use them no more.
- Speak for yourself!
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I'll take a high over a life
of wealth any day.
100
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Black Dynamite, the word
spread so fast that soon,
101
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,556
every white-collar whitey
who wanted some white was
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down here trying to score.
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Come to find out, they buy more
drugs than the Black community.
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00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,770
Everybody in the community
became a drug dealer,
105
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and I mean everybody...
Except Basehead, of course.
106
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I got so desperate, I was 'bout
to move out of the Black community
107
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,457
just so I could come back in
and get some drugs.
108
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But I ain't have no car,
109
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'cause I already sold it
for some base
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the second week
I became a base head!
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00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,910
Okay, then, tell me...
What's happening with all this
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new found honky drug bread?
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We cleaned up the streets,
Black Dynamite, with real soap.
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We buildin' libraries,
and we openin' markets
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that fulfill the Black man
in America's long struggle
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to acquire fresh produce.
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And it's all thanks to the white
community's drug addiction.
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I'm trying to see
the downside of all this,
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but all I keep coming up with
is a whole lot of ups.
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Oh, damn! I'm gonna be late!
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All the hustlers are using this
good drug money to sponsor
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a Black fair in the community
this afternoon.
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Why don't you come check it out,
Black Dynamite?
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Basehead, we could use you
in the basehead throw.
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A basehead throw?!
What kind of person
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gonna take a basehead
and throw him at a wall
127
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like he a damn dwarf
or somethin'?
128
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Fuck you!
129
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,087
How much base you get
for a basehead throw?
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00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,139
Like, you get,
like, a pound of base?
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'Cause I could be thrown
for a pound of base,
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no problem at all.
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♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
134
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This can't be true.
135
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They should have killed each
other by now!
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Oh, man.
This stuff is real, real, real good.
137
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Where did you get that?
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The Black community.
Where else?
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00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,778
Everyone gets their coke
from there now.
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They've got really good prices.
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You fucking idiot!
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We made the drugs that cheap so
they can kill themselves,
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not sell it back to us!
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I'm sorry, Mr. President,
145
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,663
but you and this
Black Dynamite shit
146
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has got me under a lot
of stress.
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Damn it, Kiss.
148
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,423
If drugs can't wipe out the
Black community, what can?
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00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,376
Oh, no reason to go there, darlin'.
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00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,835
I'm just gonna walk right in.
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Elvis Aaron Presley,
the king of rock 'n' roll?
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What are you doing here?
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Mr. President, I heard there was
a drug epidemic in white America,
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and that thing made me madder
155
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than a premenstrual mosquito
in a mannequin factory.
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00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,046
I said to myself, I said,
"Elvis, you gotta stop the ghetto
157
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,653
from selling their Black drugs
to the white American people."
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00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,008
So I hightailed out of Graceland
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faster than a cat can
lick his own ass.
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Send me into the Black
community, Tricky Dicky.
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I want to serve my country.
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Mr. President, you're not gonna
let Elvis do this, are you?
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He'll get himself killed.
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Exactly!
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Elvis Aaron Presley,
I knight you
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the undercover D.E.A. agent
167
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of the secret "Operation
Ghetto Blaster."
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I give you the complete authority
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to stop the Black community
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00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,634
from poisoning the white
community with their drugs,
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by any means necessary
or unnecessary.
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00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,685
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
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Damn! Damn! Damn!
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James done died,
Penny got burned by an iron,
175
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,568
and J.J. just got shot.
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Whoo!
"Good Times" is hilarious!
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00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,989
Honey Bee!
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00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,769
Are you sure this perm is
supposed to be in here so long?
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It feel like my hair
done burnt off.
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00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:01,918
Uh-oh.
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00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,996
"Uh-oh"? There ain't supposed
to be no "uh-oh"
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when you doin' my 'do!
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00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,420
Oh! What the... Ain't no ho gonna
wanna be my bottom bitch
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with my head looking like this!
185
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,347
What ho is gonna bottom-bitch
186
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,495
for a Fisher-Price pimp like you
in the first place, huh?
187
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,476
Oh!
First, you gonna take my hair,
188
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,053
now you gonna take
my pimp juice?
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00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,139
It may be small, but I got
a pimp hand, Honey Bee,
190
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and you 'bout to get
bottom-bitch slapped!
191
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,609
Uh-huh.
You want some of Honey Bee?
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00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,902
Come on.
You want some of this?
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00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,650
Say something else.
Say something else!
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00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,778
I'm tappin' out.
I'm tappin' out!
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00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,906
- Black Dynamite! You're home!
- Hey, Black Dynamite!
196
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,237
Who the fuck are you?
197
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,537
It's not funny!
It's me... Cream Corn!
198
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,414
Honey Bee ruined my hair,
199
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,191
which ruined my game,
which ruined my pimpin',
200
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,671
which ruined my life,
Black Dynamite!
201
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,170
You ain't got no life,
you Kojak, Black Mr. Clean,
202
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,300
bowling-ball-head, half-a-pimp-lookin'
motherfucker.
203
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,757
Get out my face!
204
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,679
All right, Honey Bee.
That's enough.
205
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,494
There's only so many bald jokes
a man can take
206
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,371
when his head is looking like
a damn tootsie roll pop.
207
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,456
Now, no more fighting.
- Fine. There won't be no fightin'.
208
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,266
But I'm thinkin' 'bout pressin'
full charges.
209
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,418
Now, y'all pull it together, and
let's go see what's going down
210
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,649
at the community drug-free,
drug-sponsored block fair.
211
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,589
I can't go nowhere with my hair
lookin' like this!
212
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,399
Everybody gonna laugh at me,
Black Dynamite!
213
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,447
I know looking like
a bald, Black Daddy Warbucks
214
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,525
done got you down and filled
with sorrow,
215
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,953
but like little Annie said,
"that sun'll come out tomorrow."
216
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:25,623
What's in it for me?
What's in it for me-e-e-e-e?!
217
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,556
Oh. Looks like we got some
serious customers.
218
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,429
Excuse me while I attend
to all their white
219
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,763
drug-consumption needs,
my dear chaps.
220
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,100
There's a new sheriff
in town, baby,
221
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,684
and his name is The King.
222
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,779
Now, I suggest you stop
223
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,688
selling your Black drugs
to the white community
224
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,702
and keep them in your ghettos,
where they belong,
225
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,235
or you and your brothers
are gonna be in a world of pain!
226
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,114
Hi, King.
The name is Tasty Freeze.
227
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,367
How 'bout if I give you a little
courtesy bag of smack
228
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,244
so you and your hillbilly
friends here
229
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,701
can go get real high in your own
community somewhere
230
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,581
and you can let us
get back to enjoying
231
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:08,833
our drug-free block fair?
232
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,459
Uh, what you say?
233
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:12,843
Hyah!
234
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,133
Aaah!
235
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,282
Now, get up against that there wall
and spread your legs.
236
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,263
We're tearin' this place apart.
237
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,182
Lift the nuts and check the ass
of every last man, woman, and child
238
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,761
until we confiscate all
the damn drugs.
239
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,596
The President wants us
to destroy everything
240
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,306
that was gotten
with ill gottens,
241
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,336
so start breakin', burnin',
and generally messin' up shit
242
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,771
real, real, real bad.
243
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,820
Damn, King!
Why your hands so cold?
244
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,568
Black Dynamite!
245
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,025
Elvis got Tasty by the balls...
246
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,530
Literally by the balls!
247
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,157
Elvis Presley,
who you think you are,
248
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,975
showing up in the Black community,
unannounced,
249
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,615
frisking Black ball sacs?
250
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,995
Looky here, now,
I'm on a mission
251
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,105
from the President of these here
white United States
252
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,211
to kick ass and bust heads
to the black meat
253
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,289
until I stop
your Negro community
254
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,223
from spreading your Black drugs
across America,
255
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,921
causing an epidemic.
256
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,923
Now, this ain't about race.
257
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,722
The Black community has had drugs
of epidemic proportions for years,
258
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,800
and ain't nobody ever sent
no Elvis Presley.
259
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,371
Well, if y'all had kept
getting high on your own supply,
260
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,831
this wouldn't be happening
right now.
261
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,471
Now, drop your drawers,
big fella,
262
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,251
'cause once I'm done
searching these two balls,
263
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,765
you and baldy-locks' nuts
are next.
264
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,297
Elvis, now, don't let Tricky Dicky
make you get your ass whupped.
265
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,653
Now, take off that badge and gun,
and I won't be cruel.
266
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,653
Keep it on, and it's back to my
regular ass-kicking schedule.
267
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,359
Bring it on!
Bring it on, baby!
268
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,200
If you got to pinch a loaf,
hold your turd cutter tight,
269
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:27,874
'cause if you move your log shooter,
you gonna miss the whole fight,
270
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,827
'cause Elvis is about to get
his ass whupped
271
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,537
by Black Dynamite!
272
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,526
I don't think your boy know
what he gettin' into.
273
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,838
Well, then, maybe Black Dynamite
better smack some sense into him.
274
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,095
All right, darkie Dynamite.
275
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,422
You're in for a world of
hurtin', baby. Whoo!
276
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,056
You had enough, Pelvis?
You like that, Pelvis?
277
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,858
Actually, that's one of
my nicknames.
278
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,685
Why you hitting yourself? Huh?
279
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,382
Why you hitting yourself?
Man, look at you.
280
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,896
You... can't... do...
this...
281
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,356
to... me!
282
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,861
I'm The King!
283
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,568
No, you were the King.
284
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,278
Now you're a fat,
distorted parody
285
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,100
of the cool and sexy
motherfucker you used to be.
286
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,519
You sold out the people that gave you
everything that made you you,
287
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,409
and you got into bed
with The Man.
288
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,383
Now, if that's not the least
rock-'n'-roll thing
289
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:14,191
a motherfucker could do,
I don't know what is.
290
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,797
Maybe that's why...
you... are...
291
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,467
hitting... yourself.
292
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,683
Okay. All right.
All right.
293
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,389
I don't... want to...
search...
294
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,599
no... more...
Black... ball...
295
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,401
sacs... Black Dynamite.
296
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,924
Oh, Black Dynamite and the Black
community in general, please!
297
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,905
Please forgive me,
for I have sinned.
298
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,575
Have mercy, if you will,
on my soulless body.
299
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,153
Black Dynamite ain't falling
for that old okie-doke.
300
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,033
No, this ain't no trick,
Black Dynamite.
301
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,186
Your thorough ass-whuppin' has
shown me the light and the dark.
302
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,702
I realize now that I've been
nothing but an ignorant
303
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,581
soul-stealing, fat-ass,
redneck drug addict.
304
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,734
May all of the Black ball sacs
forgive me, Black Dynamite!
305
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,169
Black-allelujah!
306
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:01,047
Now that Black Dynamite has
baptized you with your own fist,
307
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,990
you need to go spread the gospel
to Tricky Dicky
308
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,096
and the rest of them honkies
that put you up to this.
309
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,023
Now get the fuck on.
- Now, hold on one second.
310
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,163
And I would like to stay and help
mend what I have broken.
311
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,019
After all, I have
built my career
312
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,065
ripping off the Black man's
blues and his rhythms.
313
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,766
The least I can do is spend
the rest of my days giving back,
314
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,191
because the truth is...
315
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,770
♪ I'm all fucked up,
mm-hmm ♪
316
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,982
♪ Well, I'm a mess with no soul
What's wrong with me? ♪
317
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,068
♪ A pill-popping slob,
and I'm as fat as can be ♪
318
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,779
♪ I stole rock 'n' roll
from the Blacks, you see ♪
319
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,580
♪ I'm on drugs ♪
320
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,659
♪ I'm all fucked up,
mm-hmm ♪
321
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,868
♪ Hmm ♪
322
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,455
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
323
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,466
♪ My moves and my songs,
yes, I copied 'em all ♪
324
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:44,965
♪ I'm hangin' all over
Chuck Berry's balls ♪
325
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,468
♪ I wouldn't be shit
if it wasn't for y'all ♪
326
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,299
♪ I'm on drugs ♪
327
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,102
♪ I'm all fucked up,
mm-hmm ♪
328
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,474
♪ Hmm ♪
329
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:57,182
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
330
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,110
♪ It's clear to see that I was
out of my mind ♪
331
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,234
♪ Friskin' Black ball sacs
and Tasty's behind ♪
332
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:06,567
♪ And then my savior,
Black Dynamite ♪
333
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,699
♪ He whupped my ass,
and he showed me the light ♪
334
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,247
♪ He took my hand
and made me smack myself ♪
335
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,826
♪ I lost control of my bowels,
and the pills didn't help ♪
336
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,628
♪ I knew at that moment
I'd had enough ♪
337
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,376
♪ I'm on drugs ♪
338
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,503
♪ I'm all fucked up ♪
339
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,947
Step to the side, Roscoe, and let
The King show you how it's done.
340
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,962
- What you got there, King?
- This here, Roscoe,
341
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,742
is what I like to call
my peanut butter, bacon,
342
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,133
pancake batter, butter,
and banana sandwich.
343
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,997
I know you didn't get that shit
from no Black folks.
344
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,728
That is definitely not it.
345
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,917
I'd like to dedicate this
sandwich to the Black community.
346
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,961
May its delicious, creamy
goodness be an inspiration
347
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,851
to all the good works
we will achieve together.
348
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,937
Long live The King!
Long live The King!
349
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,522
Long live The King!
350
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,948
Long live The King!
351
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,452
Knock on wood!
Knock on wood!
352
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,247
Damn it! I knew I should have
knocked on wood!
353
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,292
Ooooh! They done killed
Elvis Presley.
354
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,369
Oh, I'm-a tell it!
355
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,422
And even if they didn't,
that's what I'ma say they did.
356
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,500
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
357
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,004
Elvis! Don't you die on me!
Don't you die on me!
358
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,554
You got everything to live for!
359
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,507
Yeah, like a new
little bald-headed bitch.
360
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,371
I'm tellin' you!
I'ma pimp-slap your bottom ass!
361
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,075
Come on, y'all, we got
bigger problems here
362
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,808
than bald-headed bitches
loving Elvis.
363
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,515
Having Elvis die
in the Black community
364
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,449
gives Nixon a reason
to drop the big one on us.
365
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,019
Oh-ho, no!
Not the big one!
366
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,525
The big one is comin'!
I tell you, not that!
367
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,323
Unh-unh!
368
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,151
What's the big one?
- The N-bomb.
369
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,202
The N-bomb?
You mean nuclear?
370
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,530
- Worse.
- Neutron?
371
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,707
Worser than that.
The real N-bomb...
372
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,159
The one you can't say on TV.
373
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,253
That really exists?
I thought that was some jive...
374
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,163
brothers was just kickin'
at the barbershop.
375
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,214
Oh, no, Cream Corn.
The N-bomb is real.
376
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,292
When I was working for the CIA,
377
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,378
I seen it with my own eyes.
378
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,930
And if they drop it on us...
379
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,082
of course Black Dynamite
will survive, but the rest of y'all
380
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,063
can Kiss your Black community
asses goodbye.
381
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,629
All we need to do is
make it look like
382
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,353
Elvis decided to quit
being a cop
383
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,464
and get his fat ass across
the Black community city lines
384
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,978
and back to Graceland.
385
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,759
Then, it will look like
he decided to die there.
386
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:09,944
Honey Bee, I was about to say
387
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,714
"you took the words
right out of my mouth,"
388
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,405
but I knew there was
nothing in there.
389
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,682
Now, that sounds like a Black
Dynamite plan if I ever said one.
390
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:18,198
Now, let's go.
391
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:21,626
Kissinger, has that fat,
pill-popping piece of shit
392
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,921
died at the hands of those
chocos yet?
393
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,295
No, Mr. President.
He's still alive, sir.
394
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,969
What the...? How the hell
did you get in here?
395
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,513
I'm a base head.
I can get in anywhere.
396
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,057
Watch this.
Poof!
397
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,602
Okay. I get it.
You're a magical Negro.
398
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,020
I have three wishes, do I?
The first wish...
399
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,142
Nah, man.
400
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,725
I'm a stereotypical base head
from the community,
401
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,153
and I'm here to tell you that
Elvis Presley is dead
402
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:51,072
and Black Dynamite
is trying to cover it up.
403
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,991
Are you sure about this?
404
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,614
Yup, 'cause he done killed Elvis.
Elvis is gone.
405
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,867
Kissinger, prepare the N-bomb.
406
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,665
If I can prove that the Black
community killed Elvis,
407
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:04,540
I can finally get rid of
Black Dynamite once and for all!
408
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,371
Come on, citizen Basehead.
409
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,878
Lead me to The King's corpse.
410
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,802
But you know you better put
some base in these hands,
411
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,880
or it's gonna be problems.
412
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:20,056
We made it outside
the Black community city limits.
413
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,477
We almost home-free.
414
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,225
Oh, my goodness!
415
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,102
Dead Elvis just let out
a thunder dumpling!
416
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,171
Oh, excuse me. I think that might
have been me, Cream Corn.
417
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,777
Say what?!
Damn, woman.
418
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:31,070
It's not my fault.
It was Elvis' peanut butter, bacon...
419
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,114
pancake batter, butter,
and banana sandwiches.
420
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,566
Yeah, I ate it.
421
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,096
Well, we need to find
a gas station or somethin',
422
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,681
Black Dynamite, 'cause that
wasn't no fart.
423
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,662
That was a shart.
She shitted in that fart.
424
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,518
We can't, Cream Corn.
We got to get dead Elvis...
425
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,270
back to Graceland
quick, fast, and in a hur...
426
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,956
Oh, d... oh God damn, Honey Bee!
427
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,639
Man, them rednecks look
428
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,762
like they ain't lynched
a Negro all day.
429
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,217
I wish I was pumpin' the gas
430
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,179
so you could go
over there and pay.
431
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,558
Aah! Look what you done did
to my damn head!
432
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,673
Well, screw you, too!
You was always jealous of my hair!
433
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,483
Com on over here.
Come on, puny pimp!
434
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,531
Come on, p-p-puny pimp!
435
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,325
You gon' get your ass
whupped aga...
436
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,368
What was that?
437
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,446
Now, the next one ain't goin'
in the air.
438
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:25,705
We know that's The King's car,
so where's The King?
439
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,332
There.
You rednecks have your king.
440
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,404
Now, let us go so we can get him
back to Graceland.
441
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,386
I don't know, Bubba.
The King looks a little strange to me.
442
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,464
You all tryin' to pull
a fast one on us
443
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,517
just 'cause we a bunch
of dumb-ass rednecks, huh?
444
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,061
If that's Elvis, prove it.
445
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,397
Hah!
Whoo! Work it out, baby!
446
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,902
Get it! Unh!
447
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:58,994
Uh-oh.
448
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:02,537
Bubba, I think these colored
fellas done killed our King.
449
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,284
- Get 'em!
- Oh, hell no!
450
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,661
Go, go, go, go, go!
451
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,211
They comin'! They comin'!
452
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,380
Get up off me!
453
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,380
I got a 8675309!
454
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,211
Some negroes are trying
to kidnap
455
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,172
the king of rock 'n' roll!
456
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,381
And I'm in hot pursuit!
457
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:22,715
Mr. Kissinger,
is there any way
458
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,801
we can drop this N-bomb
before 1:00?
459
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,790
They're showing the continuation
of "Good Times" today,
460
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,959
and I need to see if Penny falls
down the elevator shaft.
461
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,020
That show is hilarious.
462
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,273
No "Good Times" until we know
we got Elvis' body.
463
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,369
Whoa!
464
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,119
Whoo-hoo!
465
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,375
What was that?
466
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,168
You think you can outrun me,
you Black bastard?!
467
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,468
It's Tricky Dick!
468
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:03,423
All I wanted was a little bit
of drugs in the community, but no!
469
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,430
You brought this on yourself,
Black Dynamite!
470
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,852
Damn it!
Basehead dropped dime on us!
471
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,476
Hurry up! They're catching up on us!
472
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,400
Aaaaah!
473
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,696
Base!
How low could you go?
474
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,861
Damn it!
475
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:24,785
Aah!
476
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,455
You can't kill a Basehead!
477
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:31,459
Aaaaaaaah!
478
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,630
Honey Bee! If we don't
make it out of here,
479
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,207
I want you to know somethin'.
480
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,714
Even though you fucked up
my hair and ruined my life,
481
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,387
true friendship is more important
482
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:43,634
than any amount of hair...
483
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,556
No matter how silky the perm is.
484
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,133
And don't you worry...
485
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,948
I ain't gonna press no charges
on you, girl.
486
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,388
Oh, I know you wasn't, 'cause
I would have whupped your ass.
487
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,098
But I am sorry for making you
bald-headed
488
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,808
and causing you to look
more fucked up
489
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,518
than you already did.
490
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,273
Oh. Hug me.
491
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,321
Oh! Hey! I got an idea!
492
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,399
I know y'all negroes got
some afro sheen!
493
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,279
Give it here!
494
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,847
Honey Bee, this ain't
no time for cruel jokes!
495
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,660
Now, why the hell you sprayin'
my bald head with afro sheen?!
496
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:10,785
Ugh!
497
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,959
Aaaaah!
498
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,504
There ain't nothing that some
good Black folks can't do
499
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,957
if they put their minds
and their afro sheens together.
500
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,668
Cream Corn, your hair ain't
never did shit for us,
501
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,423
but your bald head
just saved our lives.
502
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,175
Can you dig it?
503
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,539
Come on, y'all! Hurry up!
504
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,429
Okay, now what do
we do with his fat ass?
505
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:35,185
There's only one place a king
can croak when he's alone,
506
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:38,268
and that's on his
motherfucking porcelain throne!
507
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:46,033
Surprise, darknesses!
508
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,327
Even though you got Elvis back
to Graceland,
509
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,998
I still got you for breaking in
and killing Elvis Presley.
510
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,542
Operation Ghetto Blaster
was a success!
511
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:57,290
Maybe not the way I envisioned
it, but whatever.
512
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,963
Kissinger! I got the body!
513
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,960
Start the countdown
for the N-bomb.
514
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,779
Well, I guess this is
as close as I'm gonna get
515
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,464
to going out
in a blaze of glory,
516
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,616
so if this is the way
Black Dynamite is meant to end,
517
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,257
squeeze the trigger,
motherfucker.
518
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,042
Honey Bee, now ain't
the time for you to be
519
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,733
opening up your ass again.
520
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,361
That ain't my ass
opening this time.
521
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,113
Well, Mr. President,
what an honor
522
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:30,195
having you here at Graceland.
523
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,996
Why are you and these strange
colored folk
524
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:34,744
holding guns on each other
in my master bedroom?
525
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,702
Shit.
Stop the countdown, Kissinger.
526
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,754
The fat fuck is alive.
527
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,501
My goodness.
I must have missed something.
528
00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,236
Once in a while, I pass out
for a couple days
529
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,260
and shit wake myself.
530
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:46,757
One of these days, I'm gonna
shit wake myself to death.
531
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:53,264
Here... you want
a?
532
00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:55,595
Long live your king, Tricky Dick.
533
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,350
Long live your king.
534
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,853
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
535
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:04,063
Damn! Damn! Damn!!
536
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,567
Poof!