1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,584 Previously on "Black Dynamite"... 2 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,536 We finally have enough flu vaccine 3 00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,588 to immunize every man, woman, and child 4 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,290 in the black community. 5 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,170 And it's 100% free 6 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,468 and mandatory for all blacks. 7 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,676 "Mandatory" and "free" sounds like a code 8 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,132 for the BBG. 9 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:19,968 The BBG? What's that, Black Dynamite? 10 00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:21,598 Post-coital white girl, 11 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,304 it's a big black genocide thing. 12 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:24,763 You wouldn't understand. 13 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,836 Aww, I thought you just gave me the big black genocide. 14 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,101 You damn right, ba- Wait a minute. What? 15 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,994 You like injecting people with poison? 16 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,618 Then you gonna love this! 17 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,198 Suey! Suey! Suey! 18 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,896 Honey Bee, I need you to keep every whore and orphan 19 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,564 under lock and key until I give the go-ahead 20 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,124 that everything is A-okay. 21 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,692 Now, do you I need to repeat everything I just said? 22 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,356 No, Black Dynamite. I was writing it down. 23 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,008 Is everything okay? 24 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,132 I ain't got time to give you the details right now, 25 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:58,715 but it's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad. 26 00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,176 Is it bad? 27 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,164 You're letting them do it to you! 28 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,520 Only you can prevent the big black genocide... 29 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:08,725 Only you, and you, and you, and you! 30 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:11,735 Huh? 31 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:12,903 Aw, suey! 32 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,651 No! Don't let them do it to you! 33 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,719 Black Dynamite, the flu shot wasn't very, very, very, 34 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,734 very, very, very bad! It didn't even hurt. 35 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,036 Damn it, I'm too late, and now 36 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,239 every last one of you is a dead motherfucker. 37 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,416 Black Dynamite, you don't look so good. 38 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:29,370 I-Y feel like I don't look so... 39 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,374 Black Dynamite! 40 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,422 Oh, my God. This man has... 41 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,170 the flu! 42 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,719 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪ 43 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:41,724 ♪ He's dynamite ♪ 44 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,676 ♪ So dynamite ♪ 45 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:47,308 ♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪ 46 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,935 ♪ Ooohhh ♪ 47 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,232 ♪ Ahhhh ♪ 48 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:55,814 ♪ He's dynamite ♪ 49 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,523 ♪ Dy-no, dy-no ♪ 50 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:01,156 ♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪ 51 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,408 ♪ Oooohhhh ♪ 52 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:07,537 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ 53 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,960 This week... 54 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,345 Honey Bee, what's wrong with me? 55 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,796 I don't feel like myself, 56 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,347 and whoever it is I do feel like, 57 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,220 I don't want a damn thing to do with them! 58 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,723 Well, the good news is you're gonna be just fine. 59 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,724 Doc said all you got is the bad case of the flu. 60 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,476 And here... I picked up your antibiotics. 61 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,183 Now, just take two of these... 62 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,859 I ain't taking none of that shit. 63 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,936 Black Dynamite's a grown, natural man. 64 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,613 His body fights its own battles. 65 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,861 But wait, now... I just noticed 66 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,638 that all three of you are dressed like you going 67 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,448 to the Player's Ball or something. 68 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,404 Blacky D, you might want to sit down for this. 69 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,161 I'm already laying down. Now just lay it on me. 70 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,958 And don't call me "Blacky D" no more. 71 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,332 Oh, Black Dynamite, you're right. 72 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,459 Player's Ball weekend is starting now. 73 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,665 No! Not the Player's Ball weekend! 74 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,501 The one weekend a year 75 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,506 where every whoremonger worth his pimp juice 76 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,759 gets together to party like there's no tomorrow?! 77 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,887 But now I won't even be there, now. 78 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,639 And this year, it's gonna be on a pimped-out super train! 79 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,416 Don't even worry, B.D, I'ma tell all the hoes 80 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,040 you got buttermilk biscuits in your lungs 81 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,478 and a sick case of the pukes. 82 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,046 Now, if y'all need me, I'ma be in the car, 83 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:15,901 honking the horn. 84 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,898 Now, how can I have fun with you here all alone 85 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,571 to fend for yourself like some kind 86 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,649 of abandoned newborn baby? 87 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,782 Honey Bee, I ain't no newborn baby no more. 88 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,704 But even if I was, the last thing 89 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,783 a newborn Black Dynamite would want to grow up to be 90 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,618 is some kind of party pooper. 91 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,795 Exactly. Feel better! 92 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,340 I'ma kill them at the Player's Ball tonight! 93 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:39,792 Black Dynamite, look. 94 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,877 Before I shook, I wanted to give you 95 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:45,055 this zen-motor-scooter of a self-help book. 96 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,679 "So You Have the Flu" by Sun Tzu. 97 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,010 It's just like "The Art of War," 98 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,062 but instead, it's on the flu... 99 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,060 Chinese remedies used for centuries, 100 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,062 and it just might work for you, too. 101 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,064 And now, see you, 102 00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,896 and I wouldn't wanna be you. 103 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,817 Man, what's the big deal anyway? 104 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,653 Everybody knows that once you seen one hustler's convention, 105 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,204 you seen them all. 106 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,952 Those who think that once you've seen 107 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,500 one hustler's convention, you've seen them all, 108 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,830 have never been aboard the Player's Ball Express! 109 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,506 This year's annual gathering of all things pimp-related 110 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,070 is taking place aboard an invitation-only, 111 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,756 luxury locomotive that runs 112 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:28,637 on custom-built double-wide chrome tracks. 113 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,719 Welcome aboard, y'all, to the Player's Ball Express! 114 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,850 ♪ Game ♪ 115 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:38,150 ♪ They just wanna spit game ♪ 116 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,479 ♪ And pimp these whores ♪ 117 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,484 ♪ And stay paid all day ♪ 118 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:46,613 Are you guys whores? Right this way. 119 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,195 ♪ Freeze ♪ 120 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:53,032 ♪ There goes Tasty Freeze ♪ 121 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,585 ♪ and Crenshaw Pete ♪ 122 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,958 ♪ They say his hangar's hot ♪ 123 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:05,970 ♪ Purses first and asses last ♪ 124 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,514 ♪ They're playing at the Player's Ball ♪ 125 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,467 Of all the sad-sack sons of bitches 126 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,928 to end up bedridden on the bathroom floor, 127 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:17,105 why did it have to be me this weekend? 128 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,682 Say... 129 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,733 isn't that the book that Bullhorn got me? 130 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,531 I think I... 131 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,364 Sun Tzu said, "The greatest enemy 132 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,821 makes the body a battleground. 133 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,407 It must be killed before it kills you... 134 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,163 when you have the flu." 135 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,292 All right, tell me how I stop this flu fuck 136 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:41,622 and kill him dead. 137 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,083 Sun Tzu said, "Before battle, first seek nourishment. 138 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,635 Once on the war path, there can be no retreat." 139 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,928 All right. You cool with Roscoe's? 140 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,178 I find the food hit or miss. But it is convenient... 141 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:55,682 when you have the flu. 142 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,060 ♪ So, goodbye, can't comply ♪ 143 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,640 ♪ No more tears will I cry ♪ 144 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,397 So, by the time I've roped, hog-tied, and branded her, 145 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,651 you best believe old girl knows who her man is. 146 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,826 She knows she's property of Chocolate Giddy-u-u-u-u-u-p. 147 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,370 Sorry, but, uh, were we talking about your hoes 148 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,571 or your horses again? 149 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:15,952 My horses, of course! 150 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,999 Who the hell would even brand a human whore? 151 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,373 You mean besides Crenshaw Pete? 152 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,001 On-track, off-track betting! 153 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,003 These maggots thought of everything! 154 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,676 Top o' the morning, suckers! 155 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:31,175 Give ye old leprechaun pimp me damn gold! 156 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,851 ♪ It's real cool to take a break from the hustle ♪ 157 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,599 ♪ And get in some real R&R ♪ 158 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:43,059 ♪ 'Cause pimping 24/7 is too damn hard ♪ 159 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,520 ♪ I know what you mean, player ♪ 160 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:48,572 ♪ My arches is always aching ♪ 161 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:53,573 ♪ I got so many gators that I ain't have time to break in ♪ 162 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:57,372 ♪ True pimp problems, player ♪ 163 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,709 Good morning, players! 164 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,378 Let's get naked! 165 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:08,129 It ain't been but an hour since the train left the station, 166 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,052 and Captain K's already a shit-faced disgrace 167 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,506 to the whole pimp nation! 168 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,888 Man, you players are some haters. 169 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,015 Now, if he don't drink responsibly, 170 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,722 how's he supposed to pimp responsibly? 171 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:27,144 Hey, man! Open up! I'm coming in! 172 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,696 Fair warning... I don't have pants on. 173 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,490 My balls are out. 174 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,908 I'm gonna get naked with somebody in here! 175 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,986 Hello?! 176 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,331 What the...? 177 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,624 You know what your head looks like? 178 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,497 My balls. 179 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,249 ♪ Gonorrhea ♪ 180 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,794 Holy shit fuck piss! 181 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,175 Did anyone ever tell you that you look like 182 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:58,304 that "Love Boat" bartender motherfuck? 183 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,011 Kill his ass, Isaac. 184 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,096 What?! What part of the game is this?! 185 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,272 The part where I shake the whole pimp game down 186 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,270 and get you players in pocket... 187 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:07,977 Leroy Van Nuys' pocket. 188 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,732 I'm allergic to fire! 189 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,700 ♪ So, goodbye, can't comply 2 ♪ 190 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,199 Time for this cowboy to mosey on over to the outhouse 191 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,906 and water his stallion. 192 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,086 Oh, my God! 193 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,626 "I'm a pimp killa bitch." 194 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,632 "I'm a pimp k..." "I'm a pimp killa..." 195 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,555 Oh, my god! 196 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,097 ♪ So, goodbye ♪ - Murderer! 197 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,098 Murderer! 198 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,041 What the hell are you doing yelling, "murder, murder!" 199 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,681 At a pimp party, fool?! 200 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,982 Somebody's cooked Kangaroo's goose. 201 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,935 There's a pimp killer on this train, 202 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,816 and we're all pimps! 203 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,817 Sit your black "Blazing Saddles" ass down. 204 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,990 100-plus miles on a train full of hustlers 205 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,943 with they best hoes, finest jewelry, 206 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,620 and bankrolls in tow, 207 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,617 and you getting your no-ass-having chaps 208 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,120 in a bunch over one dead pimp? 209 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,702 I say we're doing pretty good! 210 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,667 You reckless studs play how you want. 211 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,715 Stop this train! 212 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,259 Chocolate Giddy-u-u-u-u-u-p wants to get off! 213 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,837 Whatever, ol' wimpy-ass pimp. 214 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,340 Okay. All right. I didn't need to see that! 215 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,035 Damn! Think all that drinking made him extra flammable? 216 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,055 Tonight was supposed to be a night to end all nights, 217 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,890 but now it's clear as day... 218 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:31,227 Something's just not right. 219 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,286 Oh, my God! 220 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,045 - What's the shakedown? - Attention. 221 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,877 This is the conductor up in this motherfucker. 222 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,882 Y'all may have noticed we missed a stop. 223 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:02,591 That's because this Player's Ball has now gone express. 224 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,643 Next stop, eternity in hell. 225 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,062 This pimping is a cold game. 226 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,607 Thanks for playing, suckers! 227 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,108 Oh, nooo! See, I told y'all! 228 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,907 We're all gonna die! 229 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,872 Give me two orders of Roscoe's chicken soup 230 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,417 and hot lemony tea, and make it come right up. 231 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:29,413 Soup and tea? 232 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,620 That was two weeks ago, Black Dynamite. 233 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,081 Problem with food is it comes and it goes, 234 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,712 and I needed something with a little more staying power. 235 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,886 So, from now on, it's Roscoe's Eight-Track and Betamax! 236 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,759 Now, how many Eight-tracks and Betamaxes 237 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,716 would you like, Black Dynamite? 238 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,530 Hold your horses and your Betamaxes, Roscoe. 239 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,093 We're receiving unconfirmed reports 240 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,431 that the Player's Ball Express has been hijacked. 241 00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,641 If only there was one man with a plan 242 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,568 on that train there to save everyone. 243 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,566 Wait... I know one man 244 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,898 who should've been on that train in the first place, 245 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,449 and that man has a plan. 246 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,447 And that plan is to get on that train 247 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,449 and save everyone, even though they thought 248 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,451 they could have a Player's Ball without him. 249 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,829 And that man's name is Black... 250 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,287 Is Black... 251 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:15,963 Is Black Dyna... 252 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,464 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪ 253 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,216 Man, you done throwed up 254 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,470 all over my electronics store, Black Dynamite. 255 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,058 Now, I don't blame no one here 256 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,435 for fear about their health, 257 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,436 but let's be clear... This ain't no time 258 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,234 for "every pimp for himself." 259 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,437 And you know what I say, sucker? 260 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,818 Every pimp for himself! 261 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,160 Wait, Crenshaw Pete! 262 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,557 There's still some pimp room on that lifeboat! 263 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,198 So long, sons of bitches! 264 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,826 Aaaah! 265 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,208 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite ♪ 266 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,915 Never mind. 267 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:03,344 ♪ All over my... ♪ 268 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,921 Aah! 269 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,849 Oh, God! Oh, damn! 270 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,177 What the hell?! 271 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,930 Leroy Van Nuys? I thought you were dead! 272 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,931 Then you thought wrong, Lucky Charms, 273 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,013 'cause it's the opposite of that. 274 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,351 You been laying around here givin' birth all day. 275 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,607 Now get your ass out there and get me my money, 276 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,698 you lazy ho. 277 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,702 When I was drownin' in a sink full of pimp juice, 278 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,400 turnin' blue and not breathin', 279 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,076 y'all thought I was dead. 280 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,903 Then, when my mama left her pimp 281 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,786 and he blasted out my chest with his shotgun, 282 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,411 y'all thought I was dead. 283 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,142 Then, when I needed that kidney transplant 284 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,786 and all the pimps was matching donors 285 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,245 but nobody gave me one 286 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,751 and y'all stuck my ass in a box 287 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,378 and put me in the ground, 288 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,505 y'all thought I was dead. 289 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:28,509 But guess what... Leroy Van Nuys is alive! 290 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:31,387 The opposite of what y'all 'bout to be... dead. 291 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,729 Your tragic back story is just water under the bridge now. 292 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,397 Why are you doing this? 293 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,895 'Cause I'm a motherfucking pimp, motherfucker. 294 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,444 This is the most cold-blooded shit I could come up with. 295 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,817 Now, we're not opposed to negotiation, Leroy. 296 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,818 You're amongst rational people. 297 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,616 After all, we're all pimps here. 298 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,410 Say, if I remember correctly, 299 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,907 you owe me a pot of gold, sucker. 300 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,238 Take it all! 301 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,244 I don't really care at all about me gold anyway. 302 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,372 Too late. You screwed me out of 10 grand, 303 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,420 so how I'm gonna screw you with 10 grand, 304 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,214 you little midget motherfucker. 305 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,260 I'm seein' pink hearts, yellow moons, 306 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:15,640 green clovers, blue diamonds, and a white light. 307 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,976 Eww! That's just nasty! 308 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,479 You see, that's why none of y'all can compete, 309 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:24,357 'cause a real pimp ain't got no heart. 310 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,781 Aw, hell, Robot Pimp shit 311 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,152 and Money Fat Boy done fell out. 312 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,143 This some bullshit here. I got to get off this train. 313 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,077 Black Dynamite! 314 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,034 Yeah. 315 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,869 Sun, when capability is diminished, 316 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,045 overlook not any resource, 317 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,966 even the aid of a despised white rival... 318 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,509 when you have the flu. 319 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,507 Sun Tzu, you got me going to the pigs. 320 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,339 I sure hope your ancient wisdom knows 321 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,175 what the hell it's talking about. 322 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,886 Normally, I would never come to no cracker cop 323 00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,187 for his honky help, but the proverbial shit 324 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,981 has literally hit the actual fan. 325 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,308 Sorry, Black Dynamite. 326 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,314 It's kind of hard paying attention to you 327 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,271 and playing pong at the same time. 328 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,606 It is really, really good. 329 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,816 You will be meeting horrific death 330 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,493 at the edge of Snake Canyon. 331 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,286 Attention, Player's Ball Express. 332 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,989 Do you read me, Player's Ball? 333 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,494 This is Player's Ball Express. 334 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,074 Identify yourself, sucker! Over. 335 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,080 - Who the hell is this? - I asked you first. 336 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,912 Now answer my question, then say, "over" 337 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,917 when you done speaking, motherfucker. 338 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:26,918 Over. 339 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,920 This is Black Dynamite, the man who's gonna 340 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,593 fuck up your hijacking plan. 341 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,512 Now, who the fuck are you? 342 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,259 You didn't say, "over." Over. 343 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,512 Over, goddamn it, over! 344 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,343 This is Leroy Van Nuys, 345 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,476 the coldest cat to ever call himself a pimp. 346 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,432 And right now, I got the game in a headlock, 347 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,062 and I ain't lettin' go, 348 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,985 even if the motherfucker taps out. 349 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,688 And the police ain't gonna do nothing to stop me! Over. 350 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,147 He's right, Black Dynamite. 351 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,609 We're not gonna do nothing to stop him. 352 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,115 Sun Tzu said, "confront the enemy 353 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,867 using the element of surprise. 354 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,949 Use any necessary means, 355 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:05,128 or, more specifically, take the pigs' helicopter." 356 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,798 Ping-pong ain't got shit on me! 357 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,798 Sun Tzu, I like the way you thinking... 358 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,721 when I have the flu. 359 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,560 Now, if we're gonna get on that train 360 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,229 and save the game and my crew from total devastation, 361 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,274 there's one thing I'ma need to do first. 362 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,606 Ain't no way I'm showing up to a Player's Ball 363 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,279 in a bathrobe, 364 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,276 even if it is to save everybody's life. 365 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,984 Sun Tzu said, "it is better to look good 366 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,864 than to feel good... 367 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,787 when you have the flu." 368 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,457 I may look like a million, but I still feel like hell. 369 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,521 I'm gonna need a extra handkerchief with this getup, 370 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,627 and I'm gonna need a co-pilot. 371 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,204 Now, what do you say, Sun Tzu? 372 00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,755 Comme ci or comme ça? 373 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,753 Sun Tzu said, "is a pig's pussy pork?" 374 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,710 All pussy is pork to me, 375 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,715 and Black Dynamite don't eat no swine. 376 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,922 Too close to the behind. 377 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,554 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ 378 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,313 Black Dynamite, is that you? 379 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,268 Yes. Over. 380 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,821 Since you made the effort and showed up in person, 381 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:16,320 I guess I won't hold you to no C.B. etiquette no more. 382 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,388 I didn't get dressed up in these fuck-you you threads, 383 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:21,029 steal a police chopper, and fly all the way over here 384 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,036 to discuss no damn C.B. etiquette, and you know this! 385 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,663 Oh, you came to talk to me about these so-called pimps? 386 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,514 You know what the best thing is about a pimp? 387 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,567 There's so many ways to serve these motherfuckers up, man! 388 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,878 Pimps are the fruits of the streets! 389 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,284 Why did you waste all this perfectly good pimping, 390 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,844 Leroy Van Nuys? 391 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,471 That just ain't cool, Jack. 392 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,644 I don't know what the fuck you is, Black Dynamite, 393 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,894 but I'll tell you what you ain't... A stone-cold pimp! 394 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,522 My stone-cold pimpin' ain't on trial, 395 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,104 you platinum-headed freaky deek! 396 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,018 Attention, Player's Ball Express. 397 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,658 That crunching sound you just heard 398 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,334 accompanied by those bumps you just felt 399 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,378 was the death of your only hope... 400 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,920 because the Player's Ball Express 401 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,045 just pulled a train on Black Dynamite. 402 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,548 And ain't nobody got shit to say? 403 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:21,973 Well, choo motherfuckin' choo, then. 404 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:25,552 See, I told you! We're all gonna die! 405 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:29,310 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ 406 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,641 - Sun Tzu said... - Not now, Sun Tzu. 407 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,568 Black Dynamite's got to focus 408 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,691 on getting his ass up from under this train, 409 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,398 or you and me both gonna be ancient history. 410 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,946 A party just ain't a party 411 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,031 without the tangy zip of Black Dynamite. 412 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,583 Black Dynamite, you're alive! But you look like shit. 413 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,330 Have you taken your medicine? 414 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,024 I thought I told you Black Dynamite don't believe 415 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,630 in no Western medicine. 416 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,753 Now I think I'm gonna have to... fall on my face. 417 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,585 Black Dynamite lives? 418 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,717 Destroy him, my Isaacs! 419 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,595 Sun Tzu said, "sometimes ancient books 420 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,427 with profound sayings just don't cut it... 421 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,137 when you have the flu." 422 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,017 So, what are you saying, Sun Tzu? 423 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,690 And what do you mean? 424 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,233 Take some goddamn medicine already 425 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,936 so you won't have the flu! 426 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:22,117 Ah fuck it. 427 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,618 Huh? 428 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:34,329 Then it all ends here, where it all began... 429 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,085 My own bloodstream. 430 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,133 It's time to fight this flu to the death, 431 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,461 once and for all. Over! 432 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,887 You flu motherfuckers knew about red blood cells 433 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,806 and white blood cells, 434 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:49,386 but y'all ain't ready for these black blood cells! 435 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,480 Suey! 436 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,224 Suey! Suey! 437 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,309 Suey! 438 00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:59,229 Suey! 439 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,860 Sueeey! 440 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,043 I told you my stone-cold pimpin' wasn't in question! 441 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,673 You're crazy, man! Let me go! 442 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,549 Take the motherfucking controller! 443 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,256 This pimp enough, you jive-ass, 444 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,715 cavity-creep, stuffy-head, fever, 445 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,972 so-you-can-rest motherfucker! 446 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,555 Put a pimp down, man. You know I'm handicap! 447 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:34,649 N-o-o-o-o! 448 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:39,356 Sun Tzu! Sun Tzu! Where the fuck are you?! 449 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,279 I did it! I killed the flu... 450 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,777 when I had the flu! 451 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,782 Tasty Freeze? What are you doin' in my blood stream? 452 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,035 We're not inside your blood stream, Black Dynamite. 453 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,536 You're on the Player's Ball Express, 454 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,986 and you just killed Leroy Van Nuys. 455 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,409 Great outfit, by the way. 456 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,415 Not to sound like a whole asshole, 457 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,417 but Van Nuys was holding the remote 458 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:03,001 to this whole damn train that is now out of control! 459 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,006 Oh shit, Black Dynamite. 460 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,075 That sign just said that the tracks are about to end! 461 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,965 We're headed for that ravine, 462 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,495 and there ain't no way to slow us down! 463 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,851 Then the only thing we can do is speed this train up! 464 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,624 Quick, what are diamonds before they are diamonds? 465 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:15,683 Carbon. 466 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,686 Which is close enough to coal for me. 467 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,565 Everybody throw your ice into that furnace. 468 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:21,860 What? Would you rather die? 469 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:25,030 Damn it, would you let a pimp think? 470 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,609 Not my diamond bolo tie! 471 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,570 Damn. That's not enough! We need more diamonds! 472 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:33,497 Let's throw Icey Ice in there! His ass wanted to be cremated! 473 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,846 Sue-e-e-y! 474 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,810 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ 475 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:57,730 Whew! Man, I feel great. 476 00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,603 Now, who wants to go back to my pad 477 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:02,526 for the Player's Ball after party? 478 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:07,152 ♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ 479 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:24,548 Y'all thought I was dead.