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00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:03,970
Previously on
"Black Dynamite"...
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00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,048
Black Dynamite, I'm Donald,
your accountant,
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00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:08,225
and as your accountant, I have
an extremely urgent accounting
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00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,426
matter I must
discuss with --
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00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,932
I don't care if
you're Merv Griffin,
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00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,934
creator and host of
"The Merv Griffin Show."
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00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,313
You need to make an appointment,
like everybody else, Jack.
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00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,267
Damn it!
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00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,356
“Van!
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00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,278
[grunts]
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Ohh! Suey!
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[whack, whack]
[whack]
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DONALD:
Black Dynamite?
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Huh?
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00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:27,736
[shrieks]
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You can't ignore
this any longer.
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00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,281
I tried to make an appointment
like you said, but --
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My Secretary bitch is
outwith the shits.
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Now, don't be interrupting
my kung fu!
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Suey!
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[groans]
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[gunshots]
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Man, can't this wait?
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No, it can't,
Black Dynamite.
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They are shooting.
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00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,340
Fine. Get in.
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00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:49,345
[tires squeal]
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[engine revs]
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DONALD:
What I've been trying to tell you is,
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you haven't filed income
taxes for eight years.
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You owe the I.R.S. $60,000, and
now they're going to fucking
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kill you!
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Is that what
this shit's all about?
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[gunshots]
[glass breaks]
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These motherfuckers can't
be bargained with!
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00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,076
They can't be reasoned with.
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00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,620
They don't feel pity
or remorse or fear.
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And they absolutely will not
stop, ever, until you are dead
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or broke or in jail --
or both!
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Incoming!!
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[tires screech]
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Donald, my accountant!
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Black Dynamite,
I'm not gonna make it.
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[coughs]
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Please, promise me...
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Anything, man!
Anything in the world.
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...you'll make sure this form is
postmarked by midnight on the
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15th, or you...may...
be subject to ...penalties.
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Ahh. I'm dead.
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I'm sorry,
Donald the accountant.
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I should have
listened to you sooner.
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Looks like you're gonna
need a new accountant,
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Black Dynamite.
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I've got until the 15th,
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you money-hungry bureaucratic
sons of bitches!
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Scram, I say! Scram!
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♪ He's Dynamite ♪
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♪ So Dynamite ♪
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♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
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♪ Ooohhh ♪
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♪ Ahhhh ♪
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♪ He's Dynamite ♪
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♪ Dy-no, dy-no ♪
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♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
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♪ Oooohhhh ♪
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♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
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This week...
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[sirens wailing in distance]
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ALL:
Surprise!
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BULLHORN:
Right before your eyes.
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Black Dynamite,
we all heard about your tax
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troubles with the I.R.S., so all
the whores and the orphans in
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this here whorephanage
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got together to
raise you some scratch.
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These girls have already
sucked every dick
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in a 10-mile radius.
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And me and Cream Corn planned
this badass party last night
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to raise funds and awareness
for broke Black Dynamite!
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We sold a few
thousand of these --
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2 for $5.
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Even these little nappy-headed
orphans pitched in.
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[orphans chanting
"Save Black Dynamite!"]
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All right, shut the
fuck up when grown
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folks is strugglin'.
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I'd take this money
if I didn't need it,
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but now that I do need it,
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there ain't no way
I'm gonna take it.
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[rip]
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Now get back out there on that block
and get that money I don't need.
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Now I'm just thinkin' out loud,
so this may sound berserk,
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00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,259
but maybe B.D. can
make some ends meet
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by puttin' in some
mercenary work.
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HONEY BEE:
Now, that's a greatidea, Bullhorn.
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CREAM CORN:
That is a good idea.
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I think it's a terrible idea.
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CREAM CORN:
Yeah, it is kind of terrible.
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The problem with taking
somebody's money to
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do a job is that they always
expect something in return.
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Well, I guess we'll just have to
come up with another plan, then.
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Not necessarily,
because sometimes,
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a terrible idea is the
best idea you got.
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And if there's one
thing I've learned,
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you always go with the
best idea you got.
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[airplane tires screech]
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Thank you for coming,
Black Dynamite.
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I'm a motion-picture producer.
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That means that I
produce motion pictures.
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What do you know about
Richard Pryor?
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You mean the comedy man?
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Yes, the comedian.
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You say "tomato,"
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Black Dynamite says
"toe-mah-toe."
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We've already had massive
success filming Richard Pryor
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Live in concert,
and we got Richard Pryor
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00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,976
here and now
without a hiccup.
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But for some reason, no one has
been able to get Richard Pryor
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00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,932
live on the Sunset Strip,
and that's where you come in,
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Black Dynamite.
Take this.
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What is this?
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His inspiration.
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RICHARD PRYOR: Oh shit! Why y'all didn't
tell me the plane landed?
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I was on the toilet
taking a shit.
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You know when you're sitting on
a plane, taking a shit and
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your ass get sucked
down the toilet?
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I didn't think my ass was
ever gonna come back, Jack.
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I said, "Take the shit
but leave me, motherfucker.
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Ha ha! Brilliant, Richie baby!
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But save it for the show.
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What's happenin', Jack?
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My main man.
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Baddest motherfucker I ever met.
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Cocaine.
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What's the matter,
Black Dynamite?
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You've never seen a black
entertainer get high?
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No.
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It's just that nobody's ever
left me hangin' before.
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RICHARD PRYOR:
Oh shit! Is that all the cocaine we got?
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It's gonna be a long night,
Jack.
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I snort through motherfucker.
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00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,853
This little briefcase
ain't doin' shit.
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I fuck potential mothers,
soon-to-be mothers,
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already mothers.
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I'm a motherfucker. I never got no
pussy when I was your age.
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But livin' up in here?
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Y'all should be
gettin' all of it.
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Hoe come in the house,
I'm 7 years old.
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I'm punchin' the shit out
the pussy
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'cause my dick
was too small.
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[laughter]
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Uppercuttin' the pussy.
I'm knockin' pussy out daily.
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Say, baby, you remind
me of my mama.
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Aw. Because I'm kind
and nurturing?
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No, bitch!
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'Cause you got big titties
and you sells good pussy!
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[laughter]
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Man, Richard Pryor,
you are on fire!
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And you got enough
meat on your nose
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to make a ham sandwich,
boy!
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Rhyming all the damn time.
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I can't tell if it's a trick, a
tick, a talent, or tourrette's.
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You're the funniest man
alive ordead.
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Well, thank you, Miss.
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[laughter]
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Whores and orphans
under one roof.
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Whose idea was this, anyway?
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Mine.
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Man, did you actually think
about this shit before you
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put the children and the pussy
within fuckin' distance of each other?
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Hey, little kids.
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00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:16,968
I'm Black Dynamite.
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00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,511
I know you all ain't got no
parents,
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so how 'bout I replace them with
a lifetime supply of pussy.
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That is not what I silently said
to myself inside my head!
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[grunts]
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BULLHORN:
You may not find him funny,
176
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but you about to fuck up
all your money.
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Look here,
Mr. Comedy Man.
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00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,902
Now, I don't get you
or your comedy jokes
179
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,230
or comedy in general,
180
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,111
but what I am gonna get
is you to the Sunset Strip
181
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,566
so I can pay
my damn taxes.
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Can you dig it?
[doorbell rings]
183
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As a matter of fact, here goes
a package from the I.R.S.
184
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:43,991
right now.
185
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,539
I.R.S.?! No!
186
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♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
187
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Looks like I need to get the
fuck up out of here.
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Let's go get something to eat
before Black Dynamite kills us
189
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with his back taxes.
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00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,755
It's funny 'cause it's true.
191
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,889
Man, I tell you -- the I.R.S.
ain't no joke, Jack.
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00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,514
Them motherfuckers will run right up
in your ass to get they money.
193
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,016
You ever notice when you look at
your check, it says "F.E.C.A.,
194
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,768
F.l.C.A. fucks you
out your money."
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00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,349
And my accountant gonna tell me,
196
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,151
"Good news, Richard.
You're in the black."
197
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,274
And I'm like, "Sucka,
you say I got $2 million.
198
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,732
Motherfucker I want to see it --
in cash!
199
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:23,284
Drive it to me in the
Brinks truck right now! "
200
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,828
You mean to tell me
Hollywood really pays
201
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,122
you all that money for standing
around and talkin' shit.
202
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,323
That's right.
203
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,158
But havin' people laugh
at you all the time
204
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,164
ain't all it's
cracked up to be.
205
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,746
Sometimes, I just want
my dick hugged.
206
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:35,876
[laughs]
207
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,425
Can I get you something
to drink, Mr. Pryor?
208
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,377
Not unless you got some
milk in them titties.
209
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,632
Big as them titties is,
210
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,588
shouldn't be a starving
kid nowhere in Africa.
211
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,798
Nah, baby.
212
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,554
I stopped drinking
two minutes ago.
213
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,885
[ laughs]
214
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,062
[slurring ]
That is some bullshit!
215
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,481
Don't nobody believe you,
Richard Pryor.
216
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,560
I know you don't believe me,
motherfucker 'cause you fucked up.
217
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,065
Motherfucker say...
218
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,990
"I'm drunk, and I'm the ugliest
motherfucker up in here.
219
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,615
I'm so ugly, the tears roll
down the back of my neck.
220
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,947
When I cry, they don't
want to be on my face."
221
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,372
Okay, that's enough
drinkin' and jivin',
222
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,790
you drunk jive turkeys!
223
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,708
Oh, what you gonna do to me?
224
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:17,255
Black Dynamite, I'm gonna kick
your dick, nuts, and ass to
225
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,674
the motherfuckin' bone.
226
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,841
Do you hear me?
227
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,796
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
228
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,095
Man, did you see that?
229
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,718
Them suckas got messed up, Jack,
230
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,800
Fucking around with
me and my boy. Shit.
231
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,760
Man, you got to show me how
to do some of that stuff,
232
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,766
Black Dynamite!
233
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,939
We could be like
Blackman and Robin.
234
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,813
Richard Pryor, give me that
gun before you hurt somebody.
235
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,314
[gunshots]
236
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,489
[tire hisses]
237
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,486
RICHARD PRYOR:
Motherfucker.
238
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,238
[camera shutter clicks]
239
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,778
We bad. We bad.
240
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,705
That's right motherfucker -- we bad.
241
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,248
This ain't Gene Wilder motherfucker,
242
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:56,203
this is Black Dynamite, and we
will whup your ass, Jack.
243
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,298
[laughter]
244
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,046
Do you know what
we're in for?
245
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,344
Puttin' a foot in a motherfucker's ass
and makin' it come out his mouth!
246
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,178
You ever seen that before?
247
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,973
[laughter continues]
248
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,303
You think Richard Pryor's foot
in your ass is a joke, boy?!
249
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,728
[laughter continues]
250
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,020
You think I'm funny?!
251
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,439
Well, I'm not!
252
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,516
[laughter continues]
253
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,980
I'm tired of pouring my heart
out to motherfuckers and all you do
254
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,280
is laugh.
255
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,278
Stop laughing at me.
256
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,200
I'm serious.
257
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,075
[laughter continues, distorts]
258
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:44,089
[grunts]
259
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,669
[ Metal clangs]
260
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,880
Shut the fuck up when
groan men's is cryin'.
261
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,635
[cricket chirping ]
262
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,093
[cricket laughing ]
263
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,099
[laughing stops]
264
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,350
Richard Rryor?
265
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,056
This better not be one
of your comedy jokes,
266
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,608
because Black Dynamite don't
ever hold no grown man
267
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,232
in his arms like a baby when
he's cryin' and weepin' --
268
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,405
especially a comedy man .
269
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,482
Man fuck the comedy man
and his mama!
270
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,409
I don't want to make these
motherfuckers laugh.
271
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,533
I got some real shit to say,
man.
272
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,910
I know how to out
through the bullshit
273
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,742
but don't nobody care
when I say it.
274
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,499
It's always the same.
275
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,578
Did you hear what he said?
276
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,209
He said, "it's always the same."
277
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,540
He said, "it's always the same"!
278
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,967
[laughing]
279
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,294
See what I mean'?
280
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,800
When you talk, people listen.
281
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,677
They take your ass serious.
282
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,258
You ain't really
got shit to say,
283
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,140
but they listen,
and that's what I want.
284
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:39,814
I want somebody to listen so
I can teach them somethin'.
285
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,311
[cell door opens]
286
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,688
OFFICER:
Pryor, Richard!
287
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,111
Dynamite, Black!
288
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,234
You made bail!
289
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,941
We bad. We bad.
290
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,867
That's right,
motherfucker, we bad.
291
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,071
[laughter]
I just peed on myself!
292
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,289
BLACK DYNAMITE:
What's this?
293
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,335
'Bout 200 kilos'
worth of money.
294
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,957
I thought all
that Brinks truck talk was
295
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,959
just one of your little funnies,
Richard Pryor.
296
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,836
Man, I told your ass --
I don't joke.
297
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,667
How 'bout I pay
your tax bill,
298
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,003
you look the other way, and we
both get to walk away with a
299
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,713
cool little story to tell?
300
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,139
I can't do that,
Richard Pryor.
301
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,262
Black Dynamite don't
ever break his words.
302
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,311
Black Dynamite's words and
Black Dynamite's balls is all
303
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,309
Black Dynamite
has in this life.
304
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:23,892
That, plus my bitches, my car,
an exquisite wardrobe,
305
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:26,444
and a bunch of more, other
shit, but my point is,
306
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,487
Black Dynamite said he
would get Richard Pryor
307
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,031
live on the Sunset Strip,
308
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,154
and that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
309
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,359
A'ight, man. I can dig it.
310
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,070
Keep your word
andyour balls.
311
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,574
Oh Shit, is that
the I.R.S.?!
312
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,658
I thought I told you
Internal Revenue motherfuckers
313
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,040
that Black Dynamite
was gonna get your money!
314
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,462
I'm workin' on it!
315
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,084
[engine turns over]
316
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,632
[tires squeal]
317
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,085
What about my taxes,
Richard Pryor?!
318
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:52,170
- You better get you some
scratch-offs, sucka!
319
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,675
[horn blows]
320
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,974
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
321
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,310
[sirens wail in distance]
322
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,514
Man, crazy Rich done busted
loose with all of that money,
323
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,349
and he can be
anywhere by now.
324
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,184
And that shit
ain't funny.
325
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,269
Tomorrow's the 15th,
and the I.R.S.has threatened
326
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,026
to put a lien on
this whorephanage.
327
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,230
What we gon' do?!
328
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,566
Look here, Honey Bee.
329
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,447
Ain't nobody leanin' on
Black Dynamite's whores
330
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,448
or his orphans.
Can you dig it?
331
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,621
CREAM CORN: Which reminds me,
I promised to drop my mama's 1099s
332
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,492
off at the post office.
333
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,664
Hey, Black Dynamite,
334
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,868
they didn't repossess your
ride yet, did they?
335
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,162
I'll just walk.
336
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,838
Maybe I can get the girls to
stop suckin' and fuckin'
337
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,631
for an hour, and they
can find Richard Pryor.
338
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,708
Nah, let them keep suckin'
and fuckin' Honey Bee.
339
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:33,796
I've been to every hot spot,
cathouse, nightclub, drug spot,
340
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:34,970
and gambling den in town.
341
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:35,968
And...?
342
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,139
[sighs]
343
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,387
He's been in every
last one of them.
344
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:39,843
Wait, Black Dynamite!
345
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:43,146
There's someone I know that can
help us find Richard Pryor
346
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,689
and get him to the show.
347
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,894
[doorbell rings]
348
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,149
Richard's not here.
What do you want'?
349
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,400
How did you know --
350
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,696
I know you've got a
Richard Pryor problem,
351
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,820
'cause no one shows
up to Paul Mooney's pad
352
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,573
unannounced unless they've
got a Richard Pryor problem.
353
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,495
I've been livin' in that
brother's light-skinned shadow
354
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,822
all of my life.
355
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,122
Can you help us find him?
356
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,542
Is a pig's pussy pork?
357
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,374
Where did you last see him?
358
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,626
In a Brinks truck filled
with 2 million big ones.
359
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,208
That's what I was afraid of.
360
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,339
You were trying to get him to
the Sunset Strip, weren't you?
361
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,840
[ Switch clicks ]
362
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,262
[tribal music plays]
363
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,180
You see, Richard thinks that if
he goes to the Sunset Strip,
364
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:21,476
then all he'll ever be is one of
the greatest comedians that ever lived.
365
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,598
Richard wants
more than that.
366
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,020
He wants to be
like Malcolm X.
367
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,096
[laughter]
368
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,352
See? That's the problem.
369
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,025
Well, besides being
a comedy man that
370
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,444
nobody will ever take serious,
what's stopping him?
371
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,113
You mean, besides the cocaine,
the quaaludes, valium,
372
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,316
white women, mother issues,
father issues, racism, vodka,
373
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,616
pork pussy and fame?
374
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:38,989
That don't cover it?
375
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,866
Richard's got that shit
and that shinola.
376
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,540
You can't have shinola
without the shit.
377
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,117
Because the truth
lives in the shit.
378
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,747
The shit
is where you find wisdom.
379
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,955
The shit is what reminds
you that your shit stinks.
380
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,541
It keeps your
feet on the ground.
381
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,297
Paul Mooney,
you might sound deep,
382
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,970
but you look jungle
fuckin' loony.
383
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,391
[tribal music plays]
384
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,858
[music stops]
385
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,937
Man, what the hell are we doing
out here with Paul Mooney, anyway?
386
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,237
[sniffs]
387
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,656
Wait, wait!
388
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,983
I smell something cooking.
389
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:18,908
[sniffs]
390
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:19,779
Cocaine...
391
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,906
[sniffs]
392
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,578
...and a man's flesh.
393
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:23,529
It's him!
394
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,660
Aaah!
395
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,082
There goes Richard Pryor!
396
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,535
He's naked and
literally on fire!
397
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,464
I panting 1
Huh?
398
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,337
He went that way!
399
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,628
It's time to break
out the heavy weapons.
400
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,633
What's that?
401
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,009
All of Richard's
greatest hits --
402
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,342
cocaine, vodka tonic,
and white-woman saliva.
403
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,516
He's responded well
to these in the past
404
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,060
when all else has failed.
405
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:46,977
Oh shit
406
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,475
Aaaaaaah!
407
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,227
[thud]
Damn!
408
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,185
Why...are...you...doing...
this ...to ...me?!
409
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,268
False alarm.
410
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,774
He's not Richard Pryor.
411
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,526
You think Richard Pryor's
the only basehead
412
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,607
to ever catch on fire, man?
413
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,192
Then why did you run,
basehead?
414
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,618
I was on fire, man!
415
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,663
I was about to put myself out,
and then you motherfuckers
416
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,365
started chasin' me.
417
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,246
The hell was I supposed to do?
418
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,453
[bird trills]
419
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,504
Oh shit, that's
my accountant.
420
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,547
Did you guys know that taxes
were due by midnight tonight?
421
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,966
I got to fly.
422
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,133
[coos]
423
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,428
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
424
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,556
BLACK DYNAMITE: Donald, you were more
than just an accountant.
425
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,103
You were my accountant.
426
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:32,603
But now, you're just a dead
accountant lying in this grave.
427
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,650
If I could do it all over again,
428
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,648
I would've made time
to talk to you.
429
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:40,448
I would've filed quarterly and kept my
business and personal receipts separate.
430
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,196
I cannot bring you back to life,
431
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,324
but I can come back and engrave
"avenged" on your tombstone.
432
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,247
I.R.S. AGENT:
30 minutes to showtime, Black Dynamite.
433
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,619
You got your tickets.
434
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,872
[singsong]
I've got mine.
435
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,454
If you don't have our money,
you'll be sleeping
436
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,632
with the fishes, right here,
beside Donald --
437
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,004
in the dirt.
438
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,676
Black Dynamite ain't never
slept with a fish or
439
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,469
laid in a grave
in his whole life,
440
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,513
and he damn sure ain't
gonna start now!
441
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:05,681
[gun cocks]
442
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,430
Go on.
Shoot, Black Dynamite.
443
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:12,059
Kill me, and two more agents
will pop up in my place.
444
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,390
And if you kill
those two agents,
445
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,100
four more will take
over for them.
446
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,060
Kill those four, and you'll find
yourself dealing with eight.
447
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,565
Waste those eight,
now you've got 16 I .R .S.
448
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,567
agents following you
wherever you go.
449
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,023
Go ahead and kill those 16...
450
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:22,902
Cream Corn?
451
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,154
Honey bee? Bullhorn?
452
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,951
The I.R.S. honky is right.
453
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:28,325
Ain't but two things
certain in this world --
454
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,372
we're gonna be taxed by the
I.R.S. and we're gonna be
455
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,700
killed by the I.R.S.
456
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,159
We might as well go back
to the whorephanage,
457
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,461
board up the windows,
give everybody assault rifles,
458
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,038
and wait for the
final shootout.
459
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,874
...4 and 64 equals 128,
and do you know what
460
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,630
128 times 2 is?
461
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,461
256!
462
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:48,141
All...up...in...your...ass,
Black Dynamite!
463
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,262
[brakes squeal]
464
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,811
[laughing]
465
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:56,732
Wait.
466
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,525
I hear something.
467
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,319
RICHARD PRYOR:
That was some serious shit
468
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,396
It sounds like...
469
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,948
shit being talked.
470
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,741
RICHARD PRYOR: [ laughter]
It was a hershey bar.
471
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,114
Fuckin' around and
ate the motherfucker
472
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,992
smelled like I had a shit
sandwich for breakfast.
473
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:13,291
Hey, baby, can I get a swig?
474
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,077
You think you got problems?
475
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,286
I had a Brinks truck with
476
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:21,000
$2 million 48 hours ago,
and I bet you were sitting
477
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,210
in the same shit
you're sitting in now.
478
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,340
[laughter]
479
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,182
Man, you right,
Richard, man.
480
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,932
I am sittin' in shit
but you make us feel like we
481
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,014
ain't sittin' in shit no
matter how much shit we're
482
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,349
sittin' in.
483
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:38,853
That shit is crazy.
484
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:39,900
Look at him.
485
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,228
All he's got is
his dirty drawers,
486
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,984
his half-skunked jug of wine,
and you, Richard Pryor.
487
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,407
Well, motherfucker
that reminds me --
488
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,156
a funny thing happened
while I was gone.
489
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,953
I gambled away $2 million --
490
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,703
Plus 4 more in I.O.U.S --
to some kung fu gangsters
491
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,125
from Chinatown.
492
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,543
And they want
to kick my ass.
493
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,540
[car door slams]
494
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,542
[Chinese accent]
Richard Pryor!
495
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,966
You in big trouble with
little Chinatown gang.
496
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,463
Aaaaaah!
497
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,511
Oh shit!
498
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,340
Richard Pryor, I'm gonna get
you live on The Sunset Strip,
499
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,642
and then I'm gonna
kill you dead.
500
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:15,220
Motherfucker.
Run, boy!
501
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,806
[funk music plays]
502
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,809
Oh, my god!
It's Richard Pryor!
503
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,734
What?!
504
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,686
[all screaming]
505
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,112
Richard, cut it out!
506
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,235
RICHARD PRYOR:
One thing I know how to do is run!
507
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,699
[all shouting]
508
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,075
Suey!
509
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,706
[grunts]
510
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:49,800
[grunts]
511
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:50,755
Aaaaaaaah!
512
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,887
Suey! Suey! Daaaah!
513
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,593
Suey!
514
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,856
RICHARD PRYOR:
Hey, little fat troll!
515
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,399
Oh! There you are!
516
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:06,196
I heard you wanted Richard Pryor
live on the Sunset Strip.
517
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,817
Well, here I is.
518
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:08,864
You think this is funny?
519
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,317
RICHARD PRYOR:
Actually, I do, motherfucker.
520
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,322
I took care of that
gambling debt for you,
521
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,778
Richard Pryor.
522
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,909
Those Kung Fu gangsters from
Chinatown won't be bothering
523
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,285
you no more.
524
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,038
I'm not paying you to deal
with kung fu gangsters
525
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,208
from Chinatown.
526
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,911
If you ever want to work in
Hollywood again,
527
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,588
Black Dynamite,
I advise you to do your job!
528
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,792
You're my mercenary --
all mine!
529
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,876
Now, you wait a minute,
Mr. Movie Producer.
530
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,212
I got Richard here,
just like I said I would.
531
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:33,343
Whether he gets up onstage is
up to him and his cocaine.
532
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,015
So I suggest you
give him a break,
533
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,594
'cause he's been dealin' with
a lot of heavy on his mind.
534
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,929
Can you dig?
535
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,479
Look, Richard!
536
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,272
We got your inspiration!
537
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,941
Come and get it!
538
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,018
My main man!
539
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,228
BLACK DYNAMITE:
No!
540
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,405
Cocaine is not your main man,
Richard Pryor!
541
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,528
Fine! So be it.
542
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,781
You think you're the first
incredibly talented person of
543
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,363
color to take show business by
storm, only to be driven insane
544
00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,746
by the pressures of a system
that's designed to suck them dry
545
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,294
and leave them dead
in a heap of cocaine?!
546
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,791
Well, you won't
be the last!
547
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,087
He's right!
548
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,460
Man, it's hopeless, man.
549
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,507
I'm-a jump!
550
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,504
Don't jump
man!
551
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,926
[electricity buzzes]
552
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:14,380
Oh shit. Fuck what I
just said, Richard Pryor!
553
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,385
Jump! Jump!!
554
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,716
What?
555
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:19,848
Oh shit, why didn't somebody
tell me I was on fire?!
556
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,055
Suey!
557
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,766
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
558
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:27,068
Very dramatic. Very touching.
559
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,736
If you don't get
on that stage now,
560
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:31,280
I swear to god I will
personally see to it that you
561
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:34,575
and everything you ever worked
for comes crashing down!
562
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,324
[all gasp]
563
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,872
Aaaaaaah!
564
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,369
Burn, Hollywood! Burn!
565
00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:42,621
Ha ha! Get it?
566
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,293
Burn! Ha ha!
567
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:45,790
Hy-sterical.
568
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,339
Smashed honky is
not hy-sterical.
569
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,836
But it is funny.
570
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,713
[both laugh]
571
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,419
Look, Richard Pryor,
at first,
572
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:55,550
I didn't get you or
your comedy jokes.
573
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,882
Even though the whole
world is laughin' at you,
574
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,434
just know that Black Dynamite
takes you seriously.
575
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,635
Here.
576
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,266
You earned this,
Black Dynamite.
577
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,564
That's why it's
called mercenary work.
578
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,232
I.R.S. AGENT:
Thank you, Black Dynamite.
579
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,651
That takes care of your federal,
580
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,820
but the city and state will be
by this afternoon to get theirs,
581
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,444
and they're not
as nice as us! [laughs]
582
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,115
Now, that's hy-sterical.
583
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:18,114
- Motherfucker.
- Thanks, y'all.
584
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,617
Maybe I should be
grateful for my blessin's.
585
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,744
Maybe big muscles
aren't everything.
586
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,326
Well, now you're just talkin'
crazy, Richard Pryor.
587
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:29,213
[cheers and applause]
588
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,632
I have a feeling that little
comedy man's gonna inspire a
589
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,756
whole generation of
nobodies to be somebodies.
590
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:35,927
And when that happens...
591
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,005
My main man!
Cocaine!
592
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,226
[theme music plays]