[00:00.52] Well, I thought about the army
[00:03.11] Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high"
[00:05.82] And I thought, "Yeah, there's a first for everything"
[00:09.90] So I took my old man's advice
[00:12.47] Three sad semesters
[00:14.55] It was only $15,000 spent in bed
[00:18.05] I thought about the army
[00:20.32] I dropped out and joined a band instead
[00:24.86] 
[00:33.56] Grew a mustache and a mullet
[00:36.40] Got a job at Chick-Fil-A
[00:39.19] Citing artistic differences
[00:42.37] The band broke up in May
[00:44.79] And in June, reformed without me
[00:47.75] And they got a different name
[00:49.88] I nuked another Grandma's apple pie
[00:53.02] And hung my head in shame, no
[01:00.95] Been thinking a lot today
[01:06.27] Been thinking a lot today
[01:12.81] Oh, think I'll write a screenplay
[01:18.15] Oh, think I'll take you to L.A
[01:23.45] Oh, think I'll get it done yesterday
[01:29.53] Aw, shit
[01:32.97] 
[02:28.69] In this time of introspection
[02:31.75] On the eve of my election
[02:34.19] I say to my reflection
[02:36.82] "God, please spare me more rejection"
[02:39.75] 'Cause my peers, they criticize me
[02:42.69] And my ex-wives all despise me
[02:45.25] Try to put it all behind me
[02:47.94] But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
[02:55.94] Thinking a lot today
[03:01.29] Been thinking a lot today
[03:06.75] Been thinking a lot today
[03:12.35] I thought about the army
[03:20.27] 